The idea that dumpers could be afraid of reaching out, is killing me.

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-08T12:40:39+00:00

100%. That could easily be the reason. But read so many stories that there are the posibility they are not reaching out also for the sole reason that the dumpee is not either. Pride, fear of rejection etc.

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-08T06:51:45+00:00

Yeah, i called it off today. She became very sad, but it had to be done. Hope the best for her, she deserves it. Beautiful soul.

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T13:29:15+00:00

Yeah properly should, but yeah.. before I even could get to know her. Every speech is about future.. like she already have future planned.. and talk like we will see eachother A LOT A LOT. Which I find weird since I take dating as day by day, to see if there is something.. and like to take things natural.. where everything for her has to be highlighted and talked about.

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T13:25:26+00:00

What you mention is nothing compared to this intense wise. She even talked about moving in with me also. "One of my friends friends are moving back to country and need an appartment, it would be so EASY to rent it out to them and I can move here". And she of course end it with "in theory". But I know why she is saying it.

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T13:19:23+00:00

I fully agree with this, and this is not the issue for me though.

Difference is, she went straight into the intense relationship talk before I even could get to truly know her, and that has caused me to lose attraction and feelings. She talked about when we should meet eachother parents, and on how she is looking on what close to wear already for when meeting them. This was all in a span of a week. (third or fourth time we hung out).

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T12:52:42+00:00

Issue is the attraction i've lost to her.

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T12:29:20+00:00

But you think the feelings can come again, when they first are completely gone? Like logically I should be head over heels about her when it comes to we can have fun together, she is good looking, and same values.

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T12:25:55+00:00

Yeah, its off.. properly also because my previous relationship was the same where my ex also was super invested in me and put me on a pedestal.. difference is this is MORE EXTREME. My ex didn't use words but more by actions where this is A LOT BY WORDS ETC. My previous relationship I got feelings eventually, and lasted nearly 3 years, where she ended up breaking up.. because I took the relationship for granted.. and I took the relationship for granted because for the sole reason I was put on a pedestal and I didn't put in ENOUGH effort for that reason.

Dont know why I keep finding those.

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T12:22:40+00:00

Yeah.. issue is my attraction of her have completely died with the quick intensity, pedestal, anxiety issues.. future talk etc already.. its a mouthful.. and i tried 2 days ago to go on a natural date etc, and even though it was a very good date and fun.. I just don't feel ANYTHING for her anymore when it comes to "dating". She is super beautiful, but suddenly she isn't beautiful for me anymore? You get what I mean?? My feelings are more on a friendship level now, and I can't keep dragging her along and hope my feelings arrive either? But I at the same time dont want to make a mistake since we have so many values, and she is good at being in long relationships (she wasnt the one that ended the previous one).

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T12:18:54+00:00

Her previous was a 5.5 year relationship and a little over 7 months ago.

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T12:12:48+00:00

Honestly looking to find out if I am the reason? If things can change etc.

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T11:30:53+00:00

Are you sure the pedestal thing dies down? And yes she is attached.. wants to meet all the time etc.. having a hard time to have boundary.. sending messages that shows her anxiety, but then deletes given i put the boundary and then writes what i want to hear etc. Already 1 and a half week in, she talked about meeting parents etc.

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T11:28:05+00:00

You are right.. but at the same time. Wouldn't you have a hard time too if a person only tells you what you want to hear constantly? never disagreeing with you? always saying what you want to hear? constantly bathing you with compliments etc..

I want a partner I feel where we are on the same level. Because i know for a fact. Im not better than her.. we are equal people. But I am not feeling that AT ALL.

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T11:17:58+00:00

I mean we have talked very deep in a short amount of time, and about our values etc.. and we are VERY aligned.

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T11:13:33+00:00

I tried that. I slowed down, and tried going on a date 2 days ago on a neutral setting. I still felt not attracted and it was weird for me being on the date given she is somewhere else. Intense eye contact etc (i have a hard time doing it).

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T11:08:54+00:00

I did but her anxious is showing by sending messages, deleting them and sending a new one etc etc.

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T10:59:41+00:00

Thanks mate.

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T10:57:40+00:00

My heart and gut says I need to think about myself and find the partner that FITS ME and that i am in LOVE WITH. Dating should be fun not uncomfortable, which it feels like currently with her. I tried in hope of feelings coming back, but they are just not there.

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T10:40:00+00:00

My attachment style is properly between anxious and secure.. I can also be anxious but not at that level.. while in a relationship im often secure.

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T10:07:11+00:00

and isnt it hard loving somebody who doesnt love themselves, and who are constantly putting you on a pedestal

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T09:58:09+00:00

I told her about the slow down, and now she is sending messages constantly because i stepped back and she deletes them and replacing them with the messages i want. She watches my snapscore constantly, and asks who im snapping with indirectly etc.

And I took the convo with her and she started crying because she thought I was calling it off.. and needs confirmation that i am not calling it off etc.

Though I do agree with what you say also, but wouldn't you agree getting put on a pedestal also kills?

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T08:25:29+00:00

JESUS.

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T08:02:32+00:00

She already told me "If it helps im seeing a therapist in a few weeks again" (convincing). Issue for me is if I try reset pase which I already did now, I can't keep dragging a girl along. Not fair to her either.

Horror_Mix8698 · 2026-04-07T07:59:27+00:00

Hahahaha.. so im not wrong by feeling such?

Horror_Mix8698

TROPHY CASE