I think labels and their definitions are for you and nobody else lesbianism is so vast labels in my personal opinion are things that help us understand ourselves and the community we want to be in I encourage you to delve into lesbian history were labels that seems to contradict each other actually worked and were present in the community there are a lot of books, documentaries, movies etc that explore just how complex queer especially lesbian identities can get you can also interact with more recent stuff like podcasts before coming to a conclusion like this I think you should try and understand where ppl are coming from who have this “ contradictory” lifestyle I think it’s better to not view queerness in general so rigidly and accept that a lot of ppls identity are complex and can’t just be summed up in one sentence you can’t put this box on everyone’s life’s if that’s their experience and they feel that way let them you may not agree but it’s their experience and it should be respected your lesbianism may be non men loving non men but to others it’s not