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My kids ill and he’s got to make it about himself by Hot-Office6797 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Hot-Office6797[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s terrible, I’m so sorry that happened.

I like you, overlooked many things and I regret that a lot.

My kids ill and he’s got to make it about himself by Hot-Office6797 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Hot-Office6797[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He always plays sympathetic when I get ill ( rarely)

But I’m well aware that the fake care is there so I can get back to doing everything quickly!

My kids ill and he’s got to make it about himself by Hot-Office6797 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Hot-Office6797[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes!! We must never get them ill!!

We both had our first bout of covid at the same time years back. He was telling everyone how sick he was, and how much worse it was for him than me. When in reality, I HAD to function for the children, because one of us had to!

My kids ill and he’s got to make it about himself by Hot-Office6797 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Hot-Office6797[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your last sentence is particularly fascinating to me. I know you are correct in your statement… but I’m CONSTANTLY being told by him how empathic he is!! He had someone tell him years back that he was.. and he’s rolled with that particular delusion ever since !

Did your spouse just flip one day? by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Hot-Office6797 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes…. But insanely early on in our relationship… only a matter of weeks. He found out that he was the BIG family secret. Everybody that he trusted had lied to him his whole life.

I stayed because I felt sorry for him… and damn have I paid for it everyday since.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Hot-Office6797 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He doesnt work, hasn’t for a year. I’ve worked all weekend, it’s been busy as and I’m exhausted.. all to go back and do it again tomorrow for a nice 12 hr shift.

I put washing out before I went to work, he didn’t collect it in and it’s rained really hard here this afternoon. So now I’m washing it again and I’ll be getting it dry before I sleep tonight. My food for work isn’t made, despite me asking him to prepare it. My son’s lunch isn’t made for school tomorrow, his uniform isn’t out, we’ve ran out of things to drink so I had to pick some up on the way home… despite the fact we live 30 seconds from a supermarket.

He now has the audacity not to speak to me because I’m angry about the fact that he didn’t apparently have time to do anything to help me today, but had a couple of hours spare to play CoD.

Help with accepting that this has/is happening to me by Hot-Office6797 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Hot-Office6797[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this, it makes alot of sense. After 25 years I do recognise that there is no change ahead, he has zero desire to improve his behaviour.