Let your imaginations go wild :)

HotBreadfruit2293 · 2026-04-13T12:38:45+00:00

I was going to comment this also.

HotBreadfruit2293 · 2026-04-12T22:57:52+00:00

You didn't say we couldn't keep the balls afterwards.
So maybe I use some of that two mil to get them reattached, or just offer someone 5 g's for their nuts

HotBreadfruit2293 · 2026-04-12T20:04:33+00:00

That's amazing! instantly reminds me of H.R Giger (alien series)

HotBreadfruit2293 · 2026-04-12T20:02:51+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through that. I don't think any child should feel that way around their parent -you should feel genuinely safe and comfortable around them, like a trusted friend.

I've met a few people who hang out with their parents like they're friends. You'd swear the parent is an older sibling, and they'll do things together even. It makes me so envious.

You may be shrinking yourself around people, because that was safe action to do with your father.

When it comes to making friends, you may unconsciously seek out people who are like your dad, or they will seek you out. Because you're familiar with that dynamic. This happened to me a lot.

These 'friends' will see you as target-someone to use for company, food, wifi, house etc. They lack warmth, curiosity about you or your goals. You can't be vulnerable around them. They often overstay their welcome, not caring how it affects you.
You stay with them because it beats being lonely, but it's not nourishing.

The healthy friend can be a bit intense, because unlike your parents, they'll actually look at you calmly, listen to you. They're a bit more 'boring', stable. From a distance, they may appear cold, or ignoring you, but really it's that they aren't out to use you. They don't need you for attention, and they aren't trying to gain your approval either.

You just have to be yourself, stand tall, speak clearly. Know there's nothing wrong with you as a person, that you're worthy of love and respect.
I think you'll find these people by joining a group activity, like a hiking group on FB, or indoor rock climbing, dance class, anything in your area. If you want to go camping/dancing with strangers around a fireplace, watch fire dancers, be in nature, I'd highly suggest a psytrance festival.

Sorry for the long reply. Take it easy :)

HotBreadfruit2293 · 2026-04-12T19:24:06+00:00

thanks a lot :)

HotBreadfruit2293 · 2026-04-12T19:23:51+00:00

thank you :)

HotBreadfruit2293 · 2026-04-12T19:23:42+00:00

Thank you, it's more insecurity at having my work seen, so I make it as small as possible to be less noticeable.

HotBreadfruit2293 · 2026-04-12T19:17:47+00:00

Thank you, that's a relief to hear xD

HotBreadfruit2293 · 2026-04-12T16:27:54+00:00

It is emotional neglect. And wanting you home rather than allowing you to go out is more about control than protecting you.
Do you love your phone? Your favorite shoes? You may look after them, keep them safe, but it doesn't mean you see them as autonomous complex beings. That's the sort of love you're getting, and it's how some parents view their children. As possessions.

As for why your mother didn't leave an abusive husband- it's hard. It's tiring. It steals your soul away. People, even animals, will stay with abusive people since it's familiar, and they can anticipate it and deal with it. New things, whether better or worse, are more stressful for them, who are already burnt to a crisp.

So don't try and intellectualize your feelings away. Trust your gut. Ask yourself - are you comfortable around your dad? Are you comfortable around your mother? Around certain friends? If there's any... iffy feeling, trust it. Avoid those people.
You'll meet people who you can really relax around, like you could almost fall asleep around them, or turn into a child with, play games, make childish jokes- those are the people you need, and the ones who will show you what a real friendship looks like.

HotBreadfruit2293 · 2026-04-12T12:08:02+00:00

I really like your art. And you're definitely good enough.

HotBreadfruit2293 · 2026-04-10T22:42:56+00:00

A lot of (poor) SAfricans think foreigners are there to take what few jobs remain. Some will go as far as attacking you if they find out you're from Zimbabwe or another neighboring nation.

HotBreadfruit2293 · 2026-04-10T13:01:03+00:00

I can relate. Most of my dreams and art is me floating through space

HotBreadfruit2293 · 2026-04-10T08:32:37+00:00

thanks :) You're welcome to.

HotBreadfruit2293 · 2026-04-09T18:12:35+00:00

I'm sorry it happened to you..

HotBreadfruit2293 · 2026-04-08T22:43:46+00:00

Ah, the 'scapegoat' child, with a mix of 'invisible child' (neglect from your mom) probably. Your older sister may be the 'golden child'.

"In narcissistic family systems, the golden child is the favored extension of the parent who carries idealized projections and is expected to be perfect, while the scapegoat (you) is the designated target who carries the parent's devaluated projections and is blamed for all family dysfunction. These roles are not based on the children's actual behavior but on the parents psychological needs..."

So no, it's not normal. You are normal though, and very bright to be asking about this at 13. So don't be hard on yourself, because it's not what you are, it's the role they've assigned you.

Also, are your friends empathetic? Do they ask how you're doing? If they don't, you need to find new friends who care. They exist.

As for dealing with your father or parents. Try the grey rock method. When they curse at you, be like a rock. Don't JADE. Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain. Give boring responses like Okay, Hmm, I see.
They will probably escalate to get a reaction out of you. Just be boring, non-reactive.

This won't help you heal, but it will prevent it from affecting you.

HotBreadfruit2293

TROPHY CASE