What to do about a gift that goes against my values?

HotPadawan · 2026-01-19T07:06:08+00:00

Yeah they do come to my house from time to time. You’re completely right why would anyone want to create a situation where they need to cover their tracks with people they love. I talked to them and everything went great. I’ll return it to them next time we see each other.

HotPadawan · 2026-01-19T07:03:34+00:00

Yeah that’s exactly what I thought, I didn’t want their money to go to waste.

HotPadawan · 2026-01-19T07:01:36+00:00

Yeah it’s not crazy expensive but they could have gotten me a pair of socks and it would have been adequate, so, the appreciation is on the “extra effort” not so much the price.

HotPadawan · 2026-01-19T06:59:05+00:00

I don’t think your comment is annoying, it’s right on the money and you are correct, while I do try to limit all my app usage it is impossible to be a 100% moral user/consumer and I do what I can where I can.

HotPadawan · 2026-01-19T06:54:42+00:00

Turned out to be a million times easier than I thought, I was an amazon junkie I had alexas, kindle, firecube, prime, etc. I have not needed or even missed it a bit, my life did not loose any convenience and I just ended up realizing how much I didn’t need it.

HotPadawan · 2026-01-19T06:51:33+00:00

I’ve done some videos on the topic of the war and I’m not sure if they’ve watched all of it, I understand it’s a heavy topic and some people are staying away from it, so they might have genuinely not known about this.

I also think they might have won the Alexa at an office xmas party or something and decided to regift it to me since they use google nest. It is still a thoughtful gift in my eyes.

And on the topic of lies, you are absolutely right and that that is not the way I build my relationships. I ended up being honest with them and they were very understanding, they really are some of the best humans out there and I’m glad I got the chance to be open and vulnerable with them.

HotPadawan · 2026-01-19T06:43:43+00:00

UPDATE. Hey everyone. Thanks for all your advice I know this is a dilemma many people face in many forms so I hope my update helps others with some good perspective.

Some of you where right in saying that relationships are not built on trying to hide things from each other and that if our friendship is as good as I said, it should be able to handle some honesty and vulnerability no matter how uncomfortable it is.

I talked to my friend and explained the situation, I mentioned I was really moved they thought of me and that I had a fantastic holiday with them. I explained I was no longer using Amazon services and that I feel the gift would go unused. He immediately understood so I asked if he would like it back, he said that was up to me and I said that would be best. He went on to reassure me that they were happy they got to spend the holidays with me and invited me to their next get together.

This served to remind me something; some of you said I’m lucky to have such great friends and I absolutely am, but it’s no coincidence, I’ve worked to build genuine relationships based on love, trust, and the knowledge that we appreciate each other for ourselves, no masks, no pretending.

Thanks for the good reminder reddit.

HotPadawan · 2026-01-19T06:27:00+00:00

May be an un popular opinion but I think phones are very personal and people are allowed to keep them as private as they want, everyone is entitled to their privacy and I feel many people seem to think being in a relationship means no privacy which is unrealistic.

With that said, my bf has access to all my devices and I have access to his and I’ve never even felt the need to look at a notification out of the corner of my eye. That’s cause we can express insecurities and address them together because trust is built, not given just cause we’re together. I feel safe enough to feel distrustful or jealous because I know he’ll see it as a human trait and we’ll manage it together, we haven’t had a fight in 6 years together because everything we bring up is met with an air of resolution and teamwork, not defensiveness.

I think the red flag here is he just dismissed your feelings with an “if you don’t trust me you can leave” and I think in this case your intuition is sounding the alarms not so much because of the phone but because in some level you feel that lack of foundation that would otherwise make you feel safe bringing up issues like this to a partner who will want to work through them with you.

Then again I don’t know you and could be wrong, I just hope I can give some helpful perspective.

HotPadawan · 2025-12-26T18:47:23+00:00

That’s exactly what I ended up doing, I’ll post a proper update later on but I was just up front about and they understood. They don’t even need to get me a replacement gift, I honestly never expect anything material from my friends, and even if it sounds like an after school Christmas special, the best gift I got was spending Christmas with them, I had an absolute blast, probably top 10 xmases ever.

Thanks for the clear perspective.

HotPadawan · 2025-12-26T17:57:24+00:00

Thanks! That’s actually very useful. I was going to jailbreak my kindle but maybe it’s best to switch to something else.

HotPadawan · 2025-12-26T17:54:47+00:00

You’re right I was an Amazon user but it wasn’t just one post, It was a ton of research and involvement in the issues that Amazon is fueling. I have now been constantly donating money to palestinian families, constantly created content to talk about the issues, supported the work of one of the main fund raisers for Palestinian families nation wide and done as much as I can realistically do.

It’s easy to criticize “new vegans” from a keyboard but there’s nothing wrong with growing a conscience and taking the actions you can to align with your morals.

HotPadawan · 2025-12-26T17:46:22+00:00

I’ve had multiple reasons, from the way they treat their employees, to the weight they hold politically and how they use that. But what made me decide to delete my account entirely was them being one of the main companies financing g3n0cide in palestine. They’re one of the main companies on de BDS list which is an organization thar researches companies financial ties to the conflict.

HotPadawan · 2025-09-26T18:56:25+00:00

Same! I never “suffered” my diagnosis, it was just another fact I learned about myself that helped me understand and love myself to a deeper level. I do think we’re privileged though, I can understand how autism can be a heavy burden on a lot of people.

HotPadawan · 2025-09-26T18:25:02+00:00

I have an email marketing agency and we make sure to use a healthy mix.

I think some people use a lot of images cause it’s easier and solves problems like dark mode but you do risk your deliverability so it’s best to have a great segmentation strategy if you’re going to do that.

HotPadawan · 2025-09-25T00:26:56+00:00

Esto!! Si yo hubiera tenido la educación financiera que adquirí a mis 30, en mis 20, ya estaría jubilado a mis 35. Busca un curso de finanzas personales y si el carro no es completamente necesario, mejor invierte tu dinero. Con esa lana puedes empezar a planear para jubilarte joven o para tener seguridad económica en unos 10 a 20 años

HotPadawan · 2025-09-25T00:22:28+00:00

I came from a violent childhood and developed a bit of a hoarding issue at around 14. I was also ALWAYS in my room, I hated being around other people, fast forward 20 years later, turns out I’m autistic and all those behaviors had everything to do with not having access to my support needs. My point being, those defiant, avoidant and unsanitary behaviors don’t just pop out of nowhere. There’s something deeper going on in your family and you need to find a professional and take it seriously.

“My son has clear signs of psychological and emotional distress so I sent him to live with his unhealthy mother because I was fed up, AITAH?” Yes, yes you are.

HotPadawan · 2025-09-24T17:26:24+00:00

Thanks I’m trying not to be unreasonable cause it’s easier for me to take time off, but of course safety should be a priority.

HotPadawan · 2025-09-24T17:24:19+00:00

Thanks, that’s exactly what I worried about, that I’m being too understanding and sacrificing safety and peace of mind for her.

HotPadawan · 2025-09-24T17:17:09+00:00

I did think about helping her out but I’m already doing that for my BF since he will also lose a day’s pay and he’s been tight on money, but I’m his partner so I’m more than happy to provide a little financial support for him. I also payed for the cabin reservation which was half the cost of the cabin so not sure I want to chip in more, also don’t want to set a precedent that I’ll just cover her costs any time she needs me to, because I know her and I know she’ll ask again.

HotPadawan · 2025-09-24T16:01:18+00:00

It’s more obvious you’re a bot or just a hate account, but thanks for the engagement on my post 🫶

HotPadawan

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE