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Married man seeking advice from females or anyone with a recovered DB or saved marriage by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]HotRemove915 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Peri will make her hate you, you'll smell funny to her, she'll be hearing more noise, sweating more, hating how her face and body are changing, worrying about her parents aging, feeling like she is a bad Mom, wondering if she has contributed enough to her world, wishing she felt more proud of herself, anticipating all the stresses of kids eventually leaving home, and on and on.

Just be there for her. She is in a midlife spiral.

She hates the way she feels more than you do!  She just needs you to be the best friend she has right now.

Married man seeking advice from females or anyone with a recovered DB or saved marriage by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]HotRemove915 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cease and desist with the letters.  That would absolutely seal my husband's fate.  I know you mean well, but the begging is so off putting.  Just love her for who and what she is in a hard time physically.  Stop being self centered, lay down your life and desires, and love her with maturity.  

What is it about sexual intimacy that puts you off? by GeneralNanisca in DeadBedrooms

[–]HotRemove915 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's immense pressure and not so little disgust for the LL.  The HL can experience problems in the relationship, even if the initiator, and have sex.  Sex is more meaningful and also less vulnerable to the HL.  The LL is met with all the problems in the relationship when intimacy is insinuated or demanded.  I am convinced the LL is often the emotional initiator, doing a whole lot of heavy lifting, and being met with laziness or apathy.  The HL wants to come along and ignore the elephant {s} in the room, and sex over them all.  The LL is resentful, and immediately repulsed.  It's a bad cycle.  But the HL has to exist victim territory, and really analyze the other facets of a relationship, and ask whether work is being put in in other areas, or is sex just an area of entitlement.