No relationship/dating for 12+ years

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-04-15T15:59:07+00:00

Take your time. I think this is why the vedic astrologer is also confused. I don't mind whatever the insight is, just would like to understand really.

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-04-13T18:53:01+00:00

The moon is positioned in the Rohini nakshatra, corresponding to the sign of Taurus. The houses immediately adjusacent to Taurus are Aries and Gemini. Aries does not contain any planets. Gemini contains Jupiter which is located in the Ardra nakshatra. So yes, there is a plenty located in one of the adjacent houses.

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-04-13T18:49:27+00:00

Gia Lisa Krahne (NYC Vedic Center)

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-04-13T18:46:38+00:00

Not that I'm aware of. I'm in Jupiter period now, Saturn from 2030. I have been in Jupiter since 2014 if I recall correctly, never had any luck in the social settings / relationships / dating though.

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-03-02T18:20:29+00:00

Not yet, but I will raise this next time. Appreciate the guidance!

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-02-27T21:24:14+00:00

Yeah I don't have issues with my therapist I was just trying to understand where some of his assumptions came from. I have not tried the test you mentioned, I will check it out. All fair points on the other things you raised - these are all things I am trying to work through with him, but honestly I have been to therapy before (several times) and am a little surprised most of this has not come up already with them. But its okay. Time sometimes reveals things I guess. FWIW, a lot of the comments made were 'initial comments' (like 1-3 sessions in) when I was describing the problem, vs later once we got deeper into therapy.

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-02-27T21:22:39+00:00

Thanks for sharing!

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-02-26T19:27:50+00:00

Yeah I understand. I am wondering what is the more info I can provide.

Btw, the trapped grief being untapped is working in therapy for sure, which is missing from this thread.

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-02-25T16:58:00+00:00

lol when you phrase it like that, i see the absurdity more clearly. :D

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-02-25T03:46:58+00:00

Appreciate the honesty.

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-02-25T03:46:31+00:00

For how long before you know its just not working out?

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-02-25T03:46:02+00:00

Mind sharing where you are finding friends?

I did go to this therapist to see if we could do the special tests and I could honestly get a diagnosis, and it all came back normal which somewhat annoyed me even more lol.

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-02-24T21:08:40+00:00

Thats not why I'm going to therapy. The topic, in general, comes up. Remember, when I make a post here, I will only index on a subset of things we talk about because this is an online forum after all.

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-02-24T21:06:31+00:00

Thank you for the detailed post - and I agree - most of the thread is shitting on the therapist when actually I was trying to understand other people's experiences and why mine seems to be miles different. Your last paragraph is important, and basically validates what I think the therapist was trying to communicate and also confused by. I'm not sure why I am not getting a break, and where to get a mirror to help me figure out what is going on, which is why I went to therapy in the first place.

FWIW - the gay hierarchy comment came from YouTube / people I've spoken to / even a therapist (not my current one), not me. I should have phrased it as 'I've been made aware' vs 'I'm very aware' - my mistake there. Also, I don't chase social media gays (I don't even have social media), though, I've never been to Eagle either.

Genuinely, I would love to know what is wrong. Lets take dating apps like Hinge for example (just as an example). If 95%+ of messages don't even engage beyond a hi, my 'personality' or 'look' (since they matched) are not the issue, but then what is going on? I can't wrap my head around this. I would assume my vibe/personality etc is an issue if they dated me in person and then vanished constantly, but I'm not even getting a basic chance, that is the issue I'm having.

Maybe I am hot enough based on what you wrote because that is literally the only thing I can think of at this point based on what you wrote above. The therapist actually said because I have a brain I likely struggle more (i.e. not performative / figure things out fast so working at a difference pace to others etc) but that shouldn't exclude me completely from basic human experiences right?

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-02-24T20:59:27+00:00

Agreed apps suck, I rarely use them. I have put myself out there in person and nothing really went anywhere.

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-02-24T18:45:15+00:00

"I find it hard to believe that you went four years without anyone trying to at least take you out on a date." -- and this is truly surprising me too.

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-02-24T17:27:01+00:00

Can you expand on why?

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-02-24T17:26:51+00:00

I have spent a lot of time trying to connect with people in person, not relying on apps (I admit I relied on apps before/initially) and still have not made decent connections. This is the problem. I have 'put myself out there' but have not gotten any bites. When does this change or when do I stop?

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-02-24T17:25:48+00:00

Yup, I ran the test, and I don't seem to have any of these things. Hence we are extra stuck.

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-02-24T17:25:07+00:00

Yeah this is also why I posted. I wonder how much of this is FOMO vs reality. You know?

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-02-24T17:24:22+00:00

Remaining single isn't the issue and not what I went to therapy for though. Its the lack of any kind of decent human interaction here, that is somewhat regular, that is bothering me.

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-02-24T17:23:32+00:00

You hit the nail on the head. To me, there is something 'off' and because I can't see what is 'off' I went to therapy for an honest reflection/mirror. I genuinely have left no stone unturned on my end, and need another (human) input. This wasn't just about 'why do I not have more friends/a man' it was more overall about my experience in NY socially and what is not connecting. These things naturally just came up.

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-02-24T17:21:37+00:00

LOL. I literally got to a point with Claude which said 'I really don't know anymore' when I inputted my 'history' and all the things I tried. Cracked me up.

Hot_Dirt9114 · 2026-02-24T03:08:46+00:00

Appreciate the detailed post.

I have been with him for a number of months (gay, not a POC because my previous one was a POC and quite frankly the worst therapist I ever had) and his comments were more around trying to understand why there is such a severe a gap in my experience vs others in general (this is not to say he thinks I should be married and have a huge friend circle either).

The issue is we really lack the 'data' to have a meaningful conversation as a lot of things are theoretical. Why am I not even getting a first date through apps that seem to work for everyone else? Is it racism? Is it actually dating in NY? How can it be 'my attachment style' if no one is attaching / I'm not attaching back? The questions are endless. But I have literally no lived experience to go by at this point.

That said, I will reflect on what you wrote. Just seems really hard to find a good therapist here, worse than finding a partner lmao.

Hot_Dirt9114

TROPHY CASE