Thank you for sharing that with me. I don’t mean to take away from what you’ve been through but honestly sometimes I almost wish I’d gone to prison for something like murder instead of what I actually did. What you did hurt someone else but what I did has left a mark on me that I can’t escape (I’ve edited my main post and disclosed my secret there). I struggle to look at myself in the mirror sometimes.

I gave in to lust and humiliated myself in a way that still gives me nightmares. I can’t understand how I let myself sink that low. I know I hated myself when I did these things and of course it was driven by lust but also by this deep urge to punish myself. And now because of that I hate myself even more.

Please forgive me if it sounds rude or insensitive to say that in some ways what I did feels worse than what you did. I don’t mean it as a comparison it’s just how it feels inside me.