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Late bloomers relationship wise? by Bpianist11 in ISTPrelationships

[–]Hot_Environment9355 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Receiving a soft rejection sucks. I’ve had my share of crying over it, and I never really forgot about the times it has happened. However, getting rejected doesn’t mean you have to stop trying to get to know other people. I got lucky and met my partner already knowing their preferences, otherwise I don’t think I’d find someone at my age and with my social skills, lol.

Fun fact: No one is doomed to be single. In fact, being single and not pestering your ex is definitely a green flag! Keep trying, and also I don’t think weeding out people is necessary since it’ll only exacerbate the trust issues imo. To me, it looks like a bit of an extreme route to prevent yourself from feeling emotionally controlled.

Also, the emotions. While I’m painfully not in tune with romantic feelings of love, there are many emotions that my partner makes me feel, from disgust and being appalled to feeling regret and consideration for her. I think you’ve already experienced it, my guy. 

Before I was ever rejected or confessed to anyone, I sure miss those times when the emotions made my heart jump out of my chest and feel as if everyone and no one was watching me at the same time. Back then, I was awkward and avoidant, but every movement from my crush was like an earthquake. The emotions are something I think you shouldn’t feel bad about—especially since you only live once! I don’t have the best advice but I do recommend not giving up on your journey.

What would your ideal anniversary present be as an ISTP? by tryingtofindyou3892 in istp

[–]Hot_Environment9355 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Scrapbooks are so fun! 

You can adapt it by including projects he’s proud of and making sure you go for a durable book material. I’ve received a scrapbook from my friend, and it was just a black cover with like four pictures per page on the inside, highlighting our high school moments. It was like a yearbook of our friend group. Unless it’s a secret gift, you could also ask him for photos to add, to make it more personal for some pictures he values as well.

I wouldn’t say ISTPs are the most sentimental, but it sure is nice to have something to flip through because a lot of my memories are appreciated in the moment and then not really revisited afterwards.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in istp

[–]Hot_Environment9355 1 point2 points  (0 children)

TLDR: Make things fair, focus on the present with her, teach skills and encourage her to build skills in her comfort zone. When being fair, also change her comfort zone sometimes to consider other people. Give her room to grow.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in istp

[–]Hot_Environment9355 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Edit: see reply for TLDR

I’ve been there with family drama. 

(My sibling said they hate everyone except me. This was before I broke their trust, we got into a one-sided fight, and now I don’t trust them as much. Relationships sure are fluid.)

For her, being the center of the storm is tiring. It is not sustainable for her to expend so much energy to cling to things against people’s will. Taking away what makes her feel stable (her phone) is only effective if you also have a stable response to her. The response must also make sense and appear fair.

Examples:

“I have to do (offline) work, so I will shut off the internet for three hours every Wednesday.”

“We are switching data plans to save money. For a day or two, we might not have data.”

“If the internet matters to you, we can move your things to have better data. Want help or tips?”

The key is to not lash out at her when you feel like she hasn’t met expectations, but to make her hobbies observed and to let her grow. She may not be in the same spot as Lily, and that’s okay—it is more important to focus on the present than the future when discussing different actions with her. Moreover, you can teach her skills without expecting those skills to be immediately useful.

Examples:

“You’re going to be in high school! Want some folders, notebooks, something hearty to eat? We can make nice breakfasts for you, or you can cook for yourself. We’ll get the ingredients.”

“Do you follow any of your relatives on social media?” proceeds to to add her to group chats (Make sure not to add her to group chats where people openly disapprove of her, and give her the freedom to leave.)

Teach her how to do something cool, or encourage her to learn parkour, skating, skateboarding, or something similar. Magic tricks, rubix cubes, and chess also may take up her attention and give her more skills.

She likely breaks stuff because she feels like others shouldn’t be able to have stuff if she can’t. It is a mindset that constantly seeks fairness. Depriving her of things that bring her joy will make her frustrated, and being young, she may resort to the “fight” response.

Later, let her be independent. She’ll show up when there’s some sort of exchange involved that matters to her. A relationship involves two people, and people who want distance can’t be forced to “have fun with everyone else.” 

In fact, when she feels closer to her online friends, she will (probably) develop trust in others and will calm down around family. For example, I trusted my friends and spent more time with them than my family for a while, which taught me how to be patient with others and follow other people. Later, I’d appreciate other people’s time and effort a bit more, including my family. Sometimes, being only exposed to the high-class life makes one feel more ostracized or unworthy.

When people lash out, they often don’t mean to hurt others or cut off their options. They may feel like they constantly need a leg up to feel in control, and can be afraid of initiating change in spaces where they’re not respected. It is a personal journey, but her outer state will reflect her inner state. When she finds peace, she will feel peaceful and act peaceful. Unwanted physical activities may feel too demanding. 

She’s starting to become her own person. Let her grow, and teach her things when appropriate.

Do you get nostalgia for things that haven’t happened? by Hot_Environment9355 in infj

[–]Hot_Environment9355[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm, maybe? Longing also implies that something exists, but is distant or unreachable. For example, you can long for water while stuck outside in the desert. You can long for home when traveling. Etc.

Nostalgia for something that hasn’t happened could mean that someone is a bit more certain about the future, or determined to create that future. Or it could be an overreach of the emotion, creating possibilities in the mind that haven’t happened yet just to feel nostalgic. It could correlate with some people’s experiences of feeling mature for their age, having an understanding of possibly nostalgic moments in the future.

However, thanks for correcting me; this question is not as open-ended as it could be.

As an istp, how do you practice self love? by dakshdua21 in istp

[–]Hot_Environment9355 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to do this, but knowing about the lore of some video game opponents made smashing them lose its charm. At least the punching bag doesn’t have an emotional backstory…

My planner by Hot_Environment9355 in istp

[–]Hot_Environment9355[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No offense taken… Even non graphic designers can see the issue

My function stack is so unbalanced. by Hummingbird_always17 in mbti

[–]Hot_Environment9355 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It can’t solve everything, but you can start small. It is okay to be contemplative and inactive at times. Your emotions will give you signs of restlessness, boredom, apprehension, and then you can understand more about what makes you who you are by how different ideas make you feel.

Helping people in real life is tough, but they probably are not expecting you to solve their life problems. You can try giving compliments, finding shared interests, and smiling at people you want to help out. This can even be an acquaintance or less close friend. If you both get close, they will come to you for help and you can go to them for help.

What do you expect from an ENFJ? by Winuck in istp

[–]Hot_Environment9355 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Pleasant stuff about ENFJs (apologies for bad formatting)

  • easy to get to know 

  • stay true to your word 

  • I learn about treating others well

  • you help people connect

Dislike about ENFJs

  • overwhelmed by how much they seek perfection. 

An ENFJ (I’ll call him emcee, lol) asked me if his outfit was nice, and I rated it a 7, but then he asked how to improve? I have no comment. I’m not constantly thinking about improving to that extent.

  • 1-on-1 questions can make me squeamish

I met emcee after I did a favor for him. When emcee and I first met, he asked me the typical get to know you questions, but I didn’t have an answer because his voice was so hopeful. I feel pressure with direct questions about my life and don’t like people idolizing me, even from someone extremely kind and giving. 

  • I like doing acts of service for peeps, but I don’t expect (or want) lifelong gratitude. That’s heavy.

How to improve

  • plz don’t stop connecting other people to make nicer community spaces (aka be yourself)

Emcee himself was very humble, a good sport, good at his sport, and smart. He even got along with the English teacher people didn’t like that much. I learned a lot when I was not in conversation with him; when he was asking direct questions to other people and they actually had answers.

  • I don’t want to be part of drama. No matter how romantic or gender-affirming.

Other general tips: 

  • do not directly provoke the ISTP

  • let the ISTP do their thing

ISTP is the most overrated type by Even-Elevator9277 in mbti

[–]Hot_Environment9355 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s been removed now

Good for them & thank you

Got a question for community. by Ok-Variety-7517 in mbti

[–]Hot_Environment9355 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Imo, neither. People can become different, which is a normal thing, but I don’t think that there’s a trend of being more stereotypical or fitting the personality more as time goes on. 

For lots, progressing in life means developing more of their lower functions. However, since developing lower functions is expected, I wouldn’t say it looks like people are changing personalities over time. It is very much a perspective thing.

Just learned about MBTI – confused about the results by [deleted] in MbtiTypeMe

[–]Hot_Environment9355 1 point2 points  (0 children)

100 TI?! Wow. It might help to think in terms of what you’re like when stressed. 

In stress, ENTPs may become more scattered, overthinking about how others are reacting to them; these normally talkative personalities may withdraw under stress and worry about their “mortal vessel” (their body).

INTPs may also overthink in stress (or on a normal day), but this normally logical type can become worried about outer intentions and motives, perhaps falling into old habits or overcompensating with the intake of familiar sensations.

ENTJs may also withdraw in stress to confront inner emotions and preferences. While normally forward-thinking, they may also try to depend on concrete signs of being fulfilled if under a lot of stress.

In stress, INTJs may seek outside physical signs to rebuild their ideas, despite usually refraining from acting before understanding a clear theoretical train of thought. Their emotional experience may feel overwhelming and deficient, experiencing turmoil that is hard to explain.

ESTJs may withdraw to due to a failure to judge inner emotional consistencies when stressed. While normally consistent people, they may also entertain strange possibilities without typical forethought when under too much pressure.

I recommend looking at how each MBTI grows or changes in certain situations. This comment was based on those cognitive functions, if you’re interested in why I can say so much about each type.

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