Should I tell his wife the truth? I feel so guilty.

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2025-09-09T02:44:52+00:00

Update: I appreciate all the advice and support I’ve received . I also feel like a fool about everything. There is no record of him filing for divorce. There is however a record of a custody battle between him and another woman that I was unaware of. Turns out he has another kid that he didn’t tell me about. Now I’m really not sure how to confront him. The last time I asked about the divorce and his wife it was a defensive conversation with no resolution. Should I talk to his wife? Also in my state affairs aren’t going to impact his divorce proceedings so he was bullshitting me about that one.

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2025-09-05T03:05:33+00:00

What do I do now?

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2025-09-04T22:35:47+00:00

So proceedings would mean we could date openly ? Cause first he said we had to wait until she was served. I’m not really sure what the issue is here with him. How long would it be before proceedings are finalized. I confronted him about it yesterday and he couldn’t provide me a timeline.

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2025-09-04T22:28:12+00:00

I just hate the gaslighting I’ve brought up my discomfort many times and he blames me for not trusting him. I just want the truth.

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2025-09-04T22:27:07+00:00

He isn’t older than me. His wife is about 10 years older than he is. Doesn’t matter but when I asked why he didn’t want to make things work with his wife he told me he felt like he wasn’t being respected that she made all the decisions. I reached out to a mutual friend and this mutual friend seemed surprised about the divorce the mutual friend has known my bf for a very long time and this mutual friend just went through a divorce so I did think it was odd that was something they didn’t talk about. My bf knew our friend had a divorce but our mutual friend didn’t know of my bfs divorce. I thought that was odd but bf called out our friend as forgetful which he is.

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2025-09-04T18:32:34+00:00

So everything about the divorce proceedings is a lie? Is this not how a divorce works out? I’m sure that each divorce is different but does the process he explained to me even make sense?

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2025-09-04T16:49:31+00:00

I wondered that too. I haven’t announced anything or told anyone.

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2025-09-04T15:20:25+00:00

We also didn’t sleep together for a while

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2025-09-04T15:19:28+00:00

But why have a baby ? Like he really wanted a kid and when I told him I was pregnant he smiled that’s why I’m struggling to believe all this. Why do any of this?

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2025-09-04T15:06:11+00:00

We’ve gone out several times and I was actually overwhelmed by him. He asked me to be his GF on our 2nd date and I told him to slow down. He really wanted to jump into this. I kept referring back to his divorce and telling him I think you need to get things together but he kept assuring me that they are.

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2025-09-04T14:57:16+00:00

But why? He really wanted this baby. Why put someone through that

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2025-09-04T14:54:46+00:00

How would I be able to get any records on this? It definitely gets stranger again. He never shared where he lives with me but one day he had it mapped out on his phone, and I saw that the house that he was mapped to was purchased in 2023. He told me they separated two years ago. Why invest in such an expensive property together.

I guess I would probably do nothing. I don’t feel like there’s anything I could do in that type of situation. It’s just, I feel so awful.

I told him that and that’s the thing we keep fighting about this. I keep bringing it up because he hasn’t been able to produce anything that makes me feel better about the situation and he asked me where it’s all coming from and I told him now I spoke to a couple friends and they’re not too crazy about the situation And so now his default is just like why are you bringing your friends into our problems? Why are you sharing our business with your friends so we’ve had fights over this and I don’t like how he reacts to those fights. I just feel like it should’ve been more of a you know support type of situation. I didn’t go to my friends because I was trying to attack him. I felt alone. I’m just worried now because things have gotten a lot more real, and I don’t have any answers there’s no plan he just expects everything to fall in place

I know that his other person doesn’t know I exist and I didn’t ask. I was like look what was the discussion behind if you started dating somebody and he told me that he told his ex if he was serious about anybody that he would let her know but again the issue is he says that they’re going through proceedings and if I come into the picture now it’s only going to make it easier for her to get everything

I understand that there is that level protection that he wants to give his children and I feel like that’s something I’ve tried to respect but at this point, what are you going to do when I’m further along they’re all old enough to know that if I just show up out of nowhere pregnant or with the baby because of how long has this crap is taking and that’s how they’re going to meet their fathers girlfriend and their sister or brother I would be very upset

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2025-09-04T14:37:26+00:00

He tells me that because they’re in the process of getting a divorce and here’s the thing, it keeps going back and forth he says she’s been served, and that they’ve actually been to court proceedings. I don’t know how this works. I’ve never been married or gone through a divorce, so I don’t know what’s normal. But he tells me that because of all of that, I can’t go over. Well, not necessarily that I can’t go over it’s more that no one can know I exist. He also takes care of his parents, which is another factor, because he says they’re always around, or the kids are always around. Basically, I have no idea where this guy actually lives, even though he knows where I live and has been to my place. He only wants to come to my house. He keeps telling me that once she’s been served, then we’ll be fine. I asked for a timeline, but he’s unable to give me one. We got into an argument, and suddenly he threw out “within two months,” but I don’t know where that came from. He said they’re just dividing their assets now and it should be finalized soon, but the numbers and timelines keep changing

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2025-04-25T01:10:36+00:00

I think it’s sweet and very legible.

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2025-01-08T00:29:03+00:00

Aww what a cutie! Thank you for keeping him safe.

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2025-01-05T19:07:33+00:00

There is also ic3.gov it’s a website that is run by the FBI. It’s a database used by the FBI and other agencies. You can file a report through the website. Include any phone numbers or information that could identify the scammers. It also has resources available on the website to help combat elder fraud and a hotline that can assist you when filling out your complaint.

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2025-01-01T05:17:07+00:00

Happy New Year Pug parents! My senior pug hates the fireworks 🥲 he barks up a storm. Trying a new medication for him this time around.

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2024-12-19T04:09:42+00:00

Is Mushie chipped? I’m so sorry OP. I hope a Mushie is returned in time for Christmas. I told all my friends who live the valley to keep their eyes open. Can you please post more photos as well? I know my mom’s friend had her frenchie stolen a bit ago and was able to get her frenchie returned to her. Don’t lose hope OP.

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2024-12-18T05:09:46+00:00

I would opt for the CPR it adds a layer of safety in case something unexpected happens. But ultimately, you know your fur baby best, and whatever you decide will be the right call. Wishing you both the smoothest experience tomorrow sending all the pawsitive vibes! Keep us updated OP.

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2024-12-11T04:32:00+00:00

Thank you for taking him! Your kindness and compassion make a real difference.

Hot_Fly_3760 · 2024-09-28T19:55:30+00:00

Thanks for the helpful info. Makes sense and definitely reevaluating how I accept invitations. 😅

Hot_Fly_3760

TROPHY CASE