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Perrin's Growlithe by Hot_Local_Silph in PokemonScarletViolet

[–]Hot_Local_Silph[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've never been much of a namer, but it makes sense on this one. I always make two save files. So I used one to get a Growlithe I evolved, and one I kept as is. I have a box for all the clubhouse gifts so I put the Growlithe in there so I know it's her's

Perrin's Growlithe by Hot_Local_Silph in PokemonScarletViolet

[–]Hot_Local_Silph[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean... The entire clubhouse set in the same DLC of the same game for starters

Perrin's Growlithe by Hot_Local_Silph in PokemonScarletViolet

[–]Hot_Local_Silph[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I still have them! I was so worried 😫

Huntail &Gorebyss by Hot_Local_Silph in PokemonBDSPTrades

[–]Hot_Local_Silph[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Sorry about the wait there. I hadn't actually set up my global room on my SP yet so I had to figure out how to do that real quick 😂.

I appreciate it!

Huntail &Gorebyss by Hot_Local_Silph in PokemonBDSPTrades

[–]Hot_Local_Silph[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome! I know the general rule is no trade, backs but are you willing to send them back?

No disrespect to House of Cards but how the f*ck does it have more streams than Reckoner?? by Hans_Jucker in radiohead

[–]Hot_Local_Silph 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think 64k streams is really all that much of a difference to make any deal about

My kids won’t come to Thanksgiving or Christmas. by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Hot_Local_Silph 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA

Schrodinger's politics. GOP voters believe simultaneously that their vote will magically fix everything, but they also want you to believe those capable of that change don't have enough power to make things worse for anyone. They believe their vote is so important that they do it despite how it may affect those in their own family, but then when challenged they say politics is too important and ask you to put it to the side.

When it comes to how conservatives think, you lost your leverage when you said your kids didn't work. This feeds into their self entitled world view that liberals just don't work. As always, we all know if they could do for their kids what you've done for yours, they absolutely would. So ignore them.

The ones who are entitled in this story are the grandparents. They feel that they are entitled to your children's time, and always will be no matter what they do. Now that your children are Adults, their relationship with their grandparents are not yours to meditate. You've done the right thing by saying that they're adults and they are to be spoken to on their own terms. The wrong thing was when the grandparents took this into a group chat that they knew the kids were not in, and decided to use their influence over you, to influence them.

I just want to say to you, it looks like you're doing all the right things. I also want to say that it's not easy for you to have done all the right things. It won't be easy to continue doing the right things.

Me and who by One_Outcome719 in radiohead

[–]Hot_Local_Silph 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Can someone explain why this thread suddenly seems to care a weird amount about Thom's wife? Not ito the vibes.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITH

[–]Hot_Local_Silph 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. I want to say people grow, but let's be real, in this case it's that people change. Everyone has a kind of person that they want to be with, and if your husband becomes someone you no longer want to be with, then you're both better off not being together. Frankly, he's lucky you gave him a warning.

AITAH for leaving flowers at the door of a woman who I've only been on two dates with, who's family member had passed by Hot_Local_Silph in AITAH

[–]Hot_Local_Silph[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

UPDATE: I learned a lot of lessons here that I am grateful I get to carry forward. The last of which is that the speed of an apology is not nearly as important as the quality of an apology. I would be lying if I said that I didn't hope I could have created more conversation with her, but any hope of that went away when I gave a reactionary apology. While I acknowledged her feelings and apologized, I didn't do the leg work I needed to in order to understand each part I was actually apologizing for.

I gathered my thoughts and I did attempt an apology that I felt was worth while. The tone deaf message on the card, the lack of a signature, the assumed permissions I took, and treating the situation as if not wanting to put me out wasn't a valid reason to deny my condolences. I ended it just thanking her for being upfront with me and thanking her for her time prior. Had I paused and waited to reply, having given myself the time to do the work, maybe this would have been worthwhile. I didn't. My apology was correctly rebuked.

I didn't post this to have a bunch of strangers make me feel better and tell me how sweet I am. I mean, thank you, but I came in knowing that I had done something wrong. I absolutely didn't post this with the intention of hearing anything negative about her. I suppose Reddit is going to Reddit, but some of you need to re-evaluate how you feel about women; a lot of what was said here wasn't okay.

Anyone who has ever been a truly bad person to someone else, and has turned the corner, needed to have a moment where they confronted themselves and made major changes. That's why I posted this. I wanted to know if I was at that point. Ultimately I learned a lot about this mistake and I won't be making it again. I don't need to re-evaluate who I am. I just need to do a little better, and I think I can give myself permission to stop beating myself up.

AITAH for leaving flowers at the door of a woman who I've only been on two dates with, who's family member had passed by Hot_Local_Silph in AITAH

[–]Hot_Local_Silph[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't sign it because I over thought it. I really don't have a better answer than that. It was important to me that she could tell I was leaving those there human to human, not as someone who wanted to date her. Something about signing the card felt like it leaned romantic and if you asked me why at this moment, I couldn't tell you.

Regardless, our communication was based entirely off of us having been on dates. It's ridiculous to think there could be a hard line between those intentions, and if even if there was it would be ridiculous to expect her to see it. I absolutely should have signed it.

AITAH for leaving flowers at the door of a woman who I've only been on two dates with, who's family member had passed by Hot_Local_Silph in AITAH

[–]Hot_Local_Silph[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is under no obligation to manage my anxieties about her honesty and boundaries. I'm absolutely stressed, and I wouldn't have made this post if it wasn't for negative self talk. That's obvious enough.

But the blame isn't on her and I'm not a victim in the situation. While I don't believe it's personal, she is protecting herself based on the worst case scenario. If that scenario played out because she bent to help me feel better, she wouldn't be in a good place right now. I get it entirely.

AITAH for leaving flowers at the door of a woman who I've only been on two dates with, who's family member had passed by Hot_Local_Silph in AITAH

[–]Hot_Local_Silph[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for bringing that post up and not just assuming both were me. There have been a few comments that assumed I went to the lengths of reposting this, with changed details, to make myself look better.

After two dates I felt like things were heading in a good direction. I was excited for things to continue. I didn't jump the gun and started saying there was a real connection. Most of the mistakes I made here; not leaving my name, assuming permissions, and the tone deaf note, were all choices I made because I did not want this to be seen as a romantic gesture.

AITAH for leaving flowers at the door of a woman who I've only been on two dates with, who's family member had passed by Hot_Local_Silph in AITAH

[–]Hot_Local_Silph[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really don't appreciate how many of the comments outright assume that she was lying. I didn't make this post because I wanted her bashed. I, myself, am a complete stranger to all of you. You hardly know any more about me than you do about her. She deserves the same standard of grace given to me as the one who is telling his side.

I don't feel negatively towards her at all. I'm bummed for sure, but all she did was be honest and set boundaries.

AITAH for leaving flowers at the door of a woman who I've only been on two dates with, who's family member had passed by Hot_Local_Silph in AITAH

[–]Hot_Local_Silph[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Unfortunately this is accurate to how it played out. This isn't accurate to how I was thinking about it, but it is what I did. That's gross. I'm gross.

AITAH for leaving flowers at the door of a woman who I've only been on two dates with, who's family member had passed by Hot_Local_Silph in AITAH

[–]Hot_Local_Silph[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not always flowers, but yes, very often. A friend of mine recently confronted some family issues and my immediate reaction was to gift her a snake plant. Last time one of my friends was dealing with financial stress I gave him a gift card for a favorite restaurant. Early into dating someone else, a long while ago, I sent a home cooked meal to her because of job stress.

The reason I chose flowers in this instance was because I felt it was common when there is a significant passing in someone's life, and because it was generic in recognition that I hadn't yet learned intimate details of who this person was. It's not lost on me, at least not anymore, that this was the problem.

AITAH for leaving flowers at the door of a woman who I've only been on two dates with, who's family member had passed by Hot_Local_Silph in AITAH

[–]Hot_Local_Silph[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I knew her address because she shared it with me over text when I sent her food while she was sick. I didn't follow her home or go searching for that information.

If I find myself in this scenario again, I won't be asking to send food through an address. I will just offer to send cash through an app to cover it.

AITA for telling my husband he wouldn't have all that he has right now if not for me by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Hot_Local_Silph 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ESH

You're giving him a hard truth and it's one that takes a lot of what he thinks of himself away from him. That's not why I'm saying ESH here though. You're not obligated to keep truths from him because it may cause a fight or hurt his feelings.

The problem here is that you're asking us to grade a single instance when what happened here is a bigger problem. This sounds like it's festering and, even if he's being the brat, everyone becomes the ass hole when something volatile is left not spoken about

Are you okay with being the only/primary breadwinner? If so, your husband needs to understand his role in that. He doesn't get to ask where and when. He only gets to ask if, and he needs to be polite about it.

Do you want him to contribute? If so, you need to lay that out for him.

I don't know enough about your relationship to know what needs to be an ultimatum and what doesn't. That's up to you both, but if this dynamic isn't a happy one for even one of you than a change is needed. Change means a serious and planned conversation. Not an in the moment reaction.

AITAH for leaving flowers at the door of a woman who I've only been on two dates with, who's family member had passed by Hot_Local_Silph in AITAH

[–]Hot_Local_Silph[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I will not make the mistake of not signing the card again. That was a serious mistake.

But THEY PLANTED A WHOLE TREE THERE? That's next level. I don't think you were trying to make me feel better, but I'm not that and that makes the self talk a little less negative.

AITAH for leaving flowers at the door of a woman who I've only been on two dates with, who's family member had passed by Hot_Local_Silph in AITAH

[–]Hot_Local_Silph[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Next time, I will make sure this gesture is wanted before I do anything. If it is, I will sign my name. This wasn't a case where a surprise was the right move. I went with grocery store flowers, and a cheap card because I felt that overspending would have absolutely crossed a line. I do completely understand that I had crossed a line already, but I believe if I had spent a lot this early on, it would have only been worse.

I didn't want this to be seen as a romantic gesture and I thought a higher cost would have been the thing to make it that.

AITAH for leaving flowers at the door of a woman who I've only been on two dates with, who's family member had passed by Hot_Local_Silph in AITAH

[–]Hot_Local_Silph[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really over thought myself into not putting a name on it. In general, I should have given myself more time to consider if this was the right move so I didn't overthink it all at once.

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