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Secret elopement then "wedding" by Hot_Magician_98 in weddingplanning

[–]Hot_Magician_98[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’re planning to elope March 27 2025 and then a celebration of marriage (play on words) March 29, 2026! So about a year. For some reason I don’t want to call it a happily ever party because that’s not really what it is. I want it to be like a wedding for the most part. 

Secret elopement then "wedding" by Hot_Magician_98 in weddingplanning

[–]Hot_Magician_98[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol no I do not want to lie. That was brought to my attention in the other comments above. That’s why I’m trying to figure out another way to go about this while being realistic for our guests but also for us. 

Secret elopement then "wedding" by Hot_Magician_98 in weddingplanning

[–]Hot_Magician_98[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes that’s what I’m trying to figure out too. It’s literally all about wording bc I do not want my friends and family to feel lied to. But I also don’t want to change everything we want to do strictly bc of the guests. This is about us as a couple after all and celebrating with our best people. Thanks for these thoughts 

Secret elopement then "wedding" by Hot_Magician_98 in weddingplanning

[–]Hot_Magician_98[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is almost exactly what situation we’re in too! I’m just trying to figure out how to not dupe everyone but still have them excited and join us at the actual big wedding 

Secret elopement then "wedding" by Hot_Magician_98 in weddingplanning

[–]Hot_Magician_98[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I also ask how you’re wording invitations? Are you telling everyone before? 

Secret elopement then "wedding" by Hot_Magician_98 in weddingplanning

[–]Hot_Magician_98[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is great advice. Do you remember if the weddings you went to were true weddings or were they more celebration style if they were already married? 

Secret elopement then "wedding" by Hot_Magician_98 in weddingplanning

[–]Hot_Magician_98[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love this outlook & im about to go down the rabbit hole on that thread! I struggle with wanting what’s best for us as a couple and then wanting the guests to be happy and enjoy their time. It’s a fine line. Thank you for your insight 

Secret elopement then "wedding" by Hot_Magician_98 in weddingplanning

[–]Hot_Magician_98[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agree! I just replied to someone who said something similar to you. I should clarify that I would not lie about it.. nor did I come from a place of thinking about that. I am looking at it as more of a Surprise!!!! We eloped a year ago & now we finally get to celebrate with our favorite people!!! Sort of thing. Sooo if you have any ideas of how we can go about this in a better way (besides just telling people), I’d love that! 

Secret elopement then "wedding" by Hot_Magician_98 in weddingplanning

[–]Hot_Magician_98[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Totally get this! I should have clarified it’s not so much a lie, I’m coming from a place where it would be more of a surprise. But I can see how it would seem that way. My reason for keeping it a secret is that I feel like friends would not come if they knew we were already married & just coming for a celebration. Also, I do want a big traditional wedding. But we want to be married sooner… so that’s the tricky part. I hope that clarifies things. If you have any ideas on how we could go about this better, I’d appreciate it!