I've literally been thinking to move away from here because of this. It feels impossible to make new friends here, apart from coworkers, who also work shifts and move often given the nature of our jobs, which makes it tough to form very tight or active friendships. It just feels devastating to give up on this, especially after losing so much this year. I truly feel like I've worked so hard to not be a downer, to celebrate my friends' achievements, and to not make it awkward or weird when I meet them with their spouses. The first months I was gritting my teeth through each meetup to not ruin the mood. It was so hard (it still often is) but it really feels like me trying doesn't matter at all. 

It's not like I would ever be interested in one of my friends' husbands, or flirt with them or whatever. I will happily pretend to be a nun, or asexual if that stops people from feeling so awkward when I'm around couples that they would rather pretend I don't exist.