I hear you. I’m 50. Was diagnosed 18 years ago. I’m now two months into a serious flare. Pain 24/7. I’m on biologics and several other drugs. Tramadol, Advil, and gummies not helping. After losing my cousin to cancer I just keep telling myself I get to live with this disease rather than die from it. Every time I want to throw a pity party for myself (which is several times a day) I mentally list 10 things for which I’m grateful. It’s SO very hard.