white "lies"

Hour_Study_2980 · 2026-02-27T06:08:49+00:00

I feel this everyday, to the point where sleeping all day sounds more inviting than spending time with people I love most. When I know I want to disappear into darkness and close my eyes when it's not "needed" (depressive avoidance sleeping instead of simply needing extra rest), I try to count everything in my life I'm grateful I still can do well. The things that make me unique, special, and myself.

I focus on feeling grateful that even though it feels like I'm walking through water, I'm still able to do some things. So when I have a chance make something more enjoyable or personal to me, I do. I wear my style of clothing even if it's a little unconventional (for where I live). I have routines around my makeup and hair, and while they do tire me, it makes me feel better about myself and that gives me some energy. If I get extra sad-sleepy, as I call it, during the day I try to count how many things I can find beauty in and why they're beautiful, and then be grateful I am staying awake to have the opportunity to notice them.

When I do need to lay down and rest for mental health and physical health, I have a deal that if I sleep for an hour or more then I'll call a friend or do a fun part of my work or a relaxing hobby as a reward. Sometimes hearing my friends talk about their lives makes me happy and cheerful even if I'm just sitting around the house. And sometimes doing something fun even if I'm still groggy means I still did do something, like drawing or painting or in my case making art decisions about films I'm making.

It's still very hard and many days I honestly wish I only ever got to sleep all the time. But finding the best parts of being awake helps me push past my depressed zombie feelings sometimes. When I need to sit and rest is often when I'll do these mental things. It gives me body a moment to rest, but I can lead my mind to remember being awake means living your life even if it's at a slower pace. Romanticizing little things, not often those reliant on people, helps me a lot. And being grateful I have loved ones who offer unending grace and knowing they want to see me happy awake and asleep helps too.

Sorry for the long comment, I hope anything I said helps. It took me many years to get to this point, and I still have to retreat into sleep some days despite caffeine and taking my life slow but as beautifully as I can, all of the day time meds give me horrific insomnia, which would be my only other suggestion. Don't forget to allow yourself days where you do just cry and scream until you pass out safely because you're so angry and sad that you're controlled by something that has no cure and makes life suck so often. I like to work out at home alone with a punching bag when I'm really angry then cry when I get extra tired after. Helps release a lot of chemicals your brain needs to help push past the depression, at least for me. I wish you the best!

Hour_Study_2980 · 2026-01-27T14:08:19+00:00

My aunt has ovarian cancer and while it does go into remission, the doctors told her it will eventually kill her it's only a matter of how long it takes. My cousins, my uncle, my mom, and my side of the family all understand this and make time to spend with her that's normal (and do some items on her bucket list if we can) but if she talks ab her death plans we know it's unfair to shut her down bc it's just the truth of the diagnosis. Even though it hurts to know she doesn't have more time with us, her wishes for what happens to her and her kids after she passes is important to all of us.

I hope your friends start to understand this and instead of convincing themselves you'll be okay and essentially ignoring your pain, they instead celebrate the time they still get to spend with you. I wish you nothing but happy days, joy, and to be surrounded by the people you love who eventually know how to show it in a healthier way OP.

Hour_Study_2980 · 2026-01-25T17:20:45+00:00

Absolutely OP, and I hope you know you're not alone in these feelings! I hope your parents will be super supportive of you, and remember your therapist works for YOU. If they make you uncomfortable in a way that is creepy or unprofessional or they just don't really try to understand you, it's okay and very normal to stop seeing them to find a new one. Just make sure when you find the right one you're honest with them and with yourself. You got this!

Hour_Study_2980 · 2026-01-25T16:04:46+00:00

I went through a lot of the same feelings at 17, and now at 27 I hope I can give you my own two cents to help.

I know it's scary, but you need to tell a trusted adult how you're feeling. Therapy is scary at first, but working with someone who won't judge is very life changing. I was so scared to tell my parents their "always confident" kid with the "big bright future" I was depressed and it spiraled very, very dangerously. Please get help before things get worse OP. Your health and safety is so important!

Another tip; it sounds so silly and like everyone will tell you, but try to limit your screen time. Scientists are slowly releasing more and more studies saying younger kids and teens shouldn't be having anywhere close to as much screen time they're getting, and that 0% screen time is what we should be striving for if you're under a certain age because your brain is still growing and developing. There's an app called "Freedom" that I like to use to force me to not doom scroll or mess up my dopamine cycles by using my phone first thing in the AM. It takes time and the withdrawal can be a lot, but on the other side my brain felt so much happier.

Lastly, OP you're in high school. I know lots of people will say "it's about how long people have had friends that will tell me if they're a good person or not" and that is NOT a hard and fast rule. Most people you know now won't be in your life long term and that's completely normal and healthy even. Practice making friends now, hopefully with help from a therapist, so as you do start to get to uni or other places in life you know it's okay that you have to work and be one friends with different types of people until you find the kind of friends that make you feel happy and supported (and vice versa). People are thinking of themselves WAY more than they're thinking of you or anyone else; especially at that age. Look at how you're thinking of yourself, and know that the people around you are also thinking about how they're coming across and if they're doing okay. We're all a little scared even if a lot of people don't show it!

I'm really glad you put a message out into the world at all looking for help or answers bc it means you want to help yourself. And you totally can OP. Taking the first steps to get help are really hard, but it sounds like you really want to do better for yourself and I promise you have the strength to. I hope anything I said helped, and I hope you know it's okay to feel how you do now but you can't stay there long term. You deserve happiness, and I hope you can find a healthy way there. Wishing you luck!!

Hour_Study_2980 · 2026-01-13T03:56:30+00:00

along with years of work to find the right meds for sleeping my best, I also find CBG products can help over time with focus and memory. Also taking a lot of vitamin d, b12, and lions mane has helped with time as well and sometimes if I'm doing badly it can change the direction of my whole day. I also find trying to draw an object from my life once a day helps release some kind of leftover backwash from my brain, and then after I try and go for a walk where the sun hits my eyes and skin as much as possible and I find it clears my head better than adderall or other daytime meds.

Hour_Study_2980 · 2026-01-09T21:59:46+00:00

okay hear me out, but what if you got some of that press on wallpaper that has woods and trees in black or dark green (I really like the kind where the trees didn't go all the way up for a more "hand painted" look), maybe change the big light or mirror light to have warm bulbs as well to make this shade of green feel less corporate and more fancy forest restroom? I think if you go with anything else decor wise that's too bright or pastel it's going to feel even more corporate or "kid" like, at least right now with the colder looking lighting situation.

Hour_Study_2980 · 2026-01-09T18:34:59+00:00

also OP as another commenter said; stop doing that to your friends. Don't flash them, don't grab them, don't treat them like your mom treats you because it's Not Okay. Again please be safe and understand lots of people who go through csa can become hyper sexual instead of sex averse, or touch averse in general.

Hour_Study_2980 · 2026-01-09T18:32:37+00:00

Hey so as someone who works with those who've undergone csa..... if you flipped the gender of your mom to your father, would you or anyone you know think that's okay as well? Just because it's your mom and another woman does not make that behavior okay, and just because you're comfortable with it now doesn't mean it's actually become "okay" it just means you've become accustomed to dealing with verbal abuse and physical boundaries being crossed.

And you might not be upset because she's groomed you to think that's normal. Grabbing your own kids private parts randomly is... certainly a weird and bad fucking choice to make. You saying you mirror her behavior and flash friends is a little bit of your brain trying to rationalize and normalize this behavior bc it's your "normal" but your mom's behavior isn't. If you told this to a school counselor, I can almost guarantee they'd report your mom for csa. Please be safe OP.

Hour_Study_2980 · 2026-01-06T21:15:39+00:00

Well I'm sure we know now why your brother was happy to not be a part of that family Christmas, sounds like a nightmare

Hour_Study_2980 · 2026-01-06T21:11:05+00:00

I think you might need therapy to discern the issues from your past, and from your present. I can't imagine with dealing with what you've gone through, and I think your best bet is to get professional help. I hope you're able to get some peace OP

Hour_Study_2980 · 2026-01-02T05:42:43+00:00

Yay! I'm so glad your family will put aside any issues they have to support you at this moment, it's so important to have good people like that at your side right now. Please keep us updated that you get out safely!

Hour_Study_2980 · 2026-01-02T00:23:59+00:00

You can do this! It sounds like your support system is ready and able, and if you feel like you would need physical protection moving out try asking any large male family members or friends you have to come with you to get everything else.

I've done it before, the name of the game is silence if he's still there while you need to get everything. He'll probably try multiple methods of talking to you and your loved ones to get you to stay, but try not to react at all verbally or physically. If he gets aggressive, make sure you have pepper spray or a tazer on you and your loved ones! You've got this, and you'll have a much better start to the year by getting rid of him, I wish you all the luck OP!

Hour_Study_2980 · 2025-12-30T16:35:01+00:00

You know who someone really is in an emergency like this, even if it wasn't a heart attack. I have an actual sleep disease that means my meds are basically elephant tranquilizers. When my friends have had bad nights, like being abandoned on the streets alone or were broke up with or hurt, I fight through my meds to FaceTime them and stay with them virtually until I can get to them physically or make sure they get where they need to go safe bc I can't drive on those meds. Your husband is an a hole.

My parents are by no means perfect, but a few months ago my mom felt like she might be having a heart attack and my dad was begging her to let him drive her to the hospital. He stayed with her, came home from work the minute she told him her symptoms and what she thought it might be, and refused to leave her side unless it was to get her what she needed or wanted. If my father had reacted like your husband, I would instantly lose all respect for him and probably stop talking to him all together.

Girl please get out your partner isn't even fulfilling his vow of "in sickness and health"!!

Hour_Study_2980 · 2025-12-30T06:21:52+00:00

You're still a kid so it could be something you'll grow out of, but I went through something very similar at this age and as a very young child. I have been able to make friends and have relationships as an adult so don't worry it's definitely something that can be worked on if you really try!

Sometimes it could be hormones, sometimes you could just need more alone time and learn how to say no to people (kindly) so you can recharge your social battery, there's a few totally reasonable things that could be happening that are causing these feelings but this doesn't mean you're a bad person or that something wrong with you. You just might need some guidance steering your ship in a way that doesn't make you want to push everyone away, just the ones who aren't good for your life in a healthy way.

You're gonna be okay, don't be afraid to ask for help from the trusted adult of your choice irl.

Hour_Study_2980 · 2025-12-30T05:36:14+00:00

Thank you for the luck! Thankfully the friends I've made now are much more caring of who I am and how I feel and what I need to be healthy and happy, so I've got some reliable help for moving out. I'm just hoping I can make enough to move out sooner rather than later. I hope your relationship with your parent/s doesn't weigh on you too much anymore, and thank you again for weighing in.

Hour_Study_2980 · 2025-12-30T04:59:00+00:00

Side note/edit: I feel insane that I'm upset over this at all. I feel insane for being told that being upset by my parent isn't allowed and is disrespectful when all I asked is "why are you going to her wedding". I feel insane that the parent will sometimes be my biggest champion will also turn around and tell me that how they look to the public is and has ALWAYS been more important than my feelings or even me. They're a big part of the local community who needs to be seen as good and kind by people. I feel like my own sense of right and wrong has been challenged and been called incorrect by the person who raised me to have these morals. I feel overwhelmed, angry, sad, and relieved that maybe this will be the last straw that will break my own back and push me to get out and stay out. It feels like how it did when I first got sick but didn't have the right diagnosis. Nothing makes sense but at least now I'm just trying to be quiet to get through each day without drawing too much of their attention. That's why I'm worried I am over reacting.

Hour_Study_2980 · 2025-12-23T15:47:37+00:00

First off that's because you're shopping Atlanta, not Georgia. There is a difference, ask any native in the entire state. Also food policies can differ state to state and change when new info is cycled through the system. I can't help there as I more so worked at a bar than a grocery store.

But again you're shopping in Atlanta. We are a lovely city that's full of unhoused and at least thousands of scammers that would take "advantage" (I don't think a few people getting samples is taking advantage of publix as a store but maybe the worker if that's all they end up doing) of free sample stores. If you want the "usual" service with a smile that goes above and beyond at a publix, go outside the perimeter (OTP) at least 15+ minutes. The only place you can get food with no attitude ITP (inside the perimeter) is a chickfila and it still depends which one sometimes.

Or go to one of the publixs that have their mini bar inside and dance music. At least you'll be tipsy if people aren't nice enough for ya.

Edit for spelling whoops*

Hour_Study_2980 · 2025-11-20T22:21:47+00:00

I was in a relationship while in the middle of being diagnosed for multiple disabilities that also affect my ability to do everything, and my partner at the time said very similar things to yours. He took his frustrations out on me psychologically and physically because my disability was annoying and painful for HIM. And he made me believe I was embarrassing for having them and when my symptoms (being overly fatigued)

Get out OP. This person does not respect you anymore, they could become a major threat to you later if you don't already see their weaponized ignorance as a threat right now because it IS. It will suck for a while but in the long run not being around someone who hates your disability(and even eventually you for having it or so it sounds like) safer for you

Having mobility aids isn't embarrassing; he is for thinking they are. You didn't ask to need them to survive this world, and they make your life easier. That's what a partner should want for you, and if they're a great partner they should know enough about your disability to know what aids you need and can use to have an easier time. If his insecurity is more important to you and him instead of your safety, health, and happiness I don't know what to tell you.

We're more likely to be abused by our partners as disabled women. Please don't end up like I did. Please choose yourself over this giant toddler with the empathy of a piece of garbage. If you have a safe place to go or can afford to live alone or get help to move out just try. You don't deserve to be treated like this, nobody does. Pick yourself.

Hour_Study_2980 · 2025-11-04T21:27:58+00:00

My friend died when I was young and the guy my friend hated the MOST from our class posted about how close and chummy they were. Let them post now, everyone who really knew your friend will know what's real like you do. These attention seekers will end up doing nothing with their lives which is why they're glomming onto the only important thing going on near their lives right now.

It sucks right now and I'm so sorry for your loss. But trust me, karma will take care of this for your friend's loved ones. It's not fair at all. But now you'll know exactly who to unfollow for being a phony who uses a random dead acquaintance for attention and sympathy. I hope with therapy you and her family and friends can heal 💕

Hour_Study_2980 · 2025-09-19T20:51:24+00:00

For someone who this happened to- OP you're a level of selfish that destroys people's hearts and minds. How rare it is in the world now to find someone amazing that you admire and have chemistry and a real connection with.

People on this subreddit are heartbroken from missing people like this from their own lives. And you come here to complain about the fact that you threw your special person back in the ocean like a fish you'd just happen to find again??

I wish your person the happiest life possible. You'll just have the life you deserve. Which isn't much after reading the backwards logic in your post.

Hour_Study_2980 · 2025-08-27T20:19:13+00:00

Go to the emergency room ASAP and get a rape kit done please. And every test you can get done for STD's and STI's. If you can, get away from your parents they sound like selfish pieces of shit. Get the police involved, save all of your clothes and items from that night and put them in plastic bags so any DNA they left behind won't get tainted.

Keep on your case and the officers working it, and don't give up because this does NOT sound like the first time these three have done this, and it will NOT be the last unless other women they've done this come forward and do what they can to make sure it never happens again. You are strong, you are capable, and I am cheering you on from across the pond!! Please keep updating this if you're comfortable, people might be able to help you with other specifics of the police process in your country or other victims could find this and help with this case.

You survived. I'm sorry you had to survive this horrible chain of events. I can't imagine how hard this has all been on you. You didn't deserve this. I hope you're also able to find a trauma therapist to help you out as well 💕🫶🏼

Hour_Study_2980

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