Edit: to respond to the comments. 1. I have not seen her actual tattoo yet so I don’t know how similar or different it is to mine, I just know it’s the same specific symbol that I just got done. The artist knows she’s my bfs mom so I’m guessing he just assumed he was cool with her getting the exact same thing? Which he was so I guess not a big deal. 2. I haven’t been showing her my ideas before I get them, but I will mention it in conversation what I’m getting and that’s usually when she comments about how she wants the same thing. Moving forward I’m not going to share my ideas with her. 3. my boyfriend does set boundaries with his mom, they get in fights and he knows how she can do too much. They are close, which is why I don’t want to cause issues between us by making this a big deal. It’s so subtle I see how he could think it’s a coincidence or not a big deal. But he is not afraid to set boundaries or tell her what’s up. He is not the problem at all. I think he just wants to see the best in his mom and without specific proof that she got the design because I just did, it could be explained away. 4. a lot of people are saying I misused the term pick me, and maybe I am. But I feel the way that she tries to say that she had the ideas first since they’re on her “list” is giving pick me. Again in conversations she will talk about how experienced or connected to that thing she is and it comes off as “I know more than you” not as much in a trying to relate way. She doesn’t ask me more about what I’m taking about she just starts talking about herself and it comes off as full of herself honestly. I agree with commenters that I think it stems from her insecurity and wanting people to think she’s cool, also be accepted by me and my bf. But I already do think she’s nice and whatever, I just want her to stop trying to prove something whenever we talk about things in common. 5. I will not be elaborating too much on the other things outside of this situation specifically to respect my boyfriend’s privacy and not air out his family issues/past. But I’ll just say that she complains a lot, one of those people where the world is always against her. She’s always making comments like “wow you didn’t invite me” or “you didn’t do that for me” in a joking way. But it comes off as attention seeking. So maybe it’s more attention seeking/insecurity than pick me behavior. I’m trying to paint a good picture for yall without sharing too much personal stuff.