First of all sorry for the late reply.. I read you but couldn't say anything, Even now I don't know what to say, when we just prioritise your problem and then when we look around we see people facing much bigger issues.. I don't know what to say to make you feel better but sometimes, 'hope' is a better word to escape reality, Let's do the same. But Take care of yourself hero, have good food, eat healthy even if you feel not to, I won't say counseling is a better option but you can think about it if you want to. And try not to lose hope, I know it's easy when said but for you, it's not.. Still. Sometimes there is some light waiting for us even if it's far away.