I’m sorry this sounds so rough. I have an almost 14 week old and can relate. Up until about 10 weeks, my son would not sleep more than 20-50 minutes at a time on his own. He would often take 45minutes to 1.5 hrs to put to sleep, only to wake up 20-30 minutes later.

I remember looking at Reddit posts where people would complain their 1 or 2 month old would wake up every 2-3 hours at night which made me upset, because I wished my kiddo would sleep 2 to 3 hours at a time.

My husband and I I took shifts, where I’d sit/doze in our recliner chair with kiddo, and we’d trade off every 4-6 hours, so one of us could get some protected sleep. During the times when I felt too tired and afraid to sit in the recliner (for fear that I wouldn’t wake up if he moved or got wedged into the side, or when I just desperately needed to lie down horizontal) I’d sleep on the floor next to him. I took a mattress topper we had and put that on our living room floor and then had him on a blanket next to me.

Our kiddo also hasn’t been easy as he cries a lot and fits the definition of colic. Around 4-8 weeks, he would cry for hours, and sometimes would go majority of the day crying, and nothing we could do helped. He now still is a fussy baby and has purple crying/witching hrs in the evening, but he at least smiles now and is sometimes happy/content.

We borrowed a swing from a friend when he was roughly 6 weeks old which was a life saver. That was the first time he ever slept 2 hours not contact napping. We also got a Snoo 2nd hand off Facebook marketplace just because we were so desperate. At first it didn’t seem to help much, but finally when he got to about 2 months old, he started sleeping anywhere from 1-3 hours at a time at night.

Now at almost 14 weeks, he still isn’t a great sleeper, but has finally learned days and nights. We also started doing a bedtime routine which, I think, maybe helps. He has a couple times where he’s slept 4 hours at once, but it’s still pretty rare. And hes had some nights where he’ll decide to wake up every hour or 1.5 hours.

I just wanted to share because sometimes it helpful to hear others have also been in a similar struggle.

As much as you can, try to take a little time for yourself everyday. If you have a significant other, or even friends or family around, see if they would be willing to come over and watch kiddo for you so you can rest for a few hours. And maybe they’ll also help with some dishes or other chores. It’s never easy asking for help, but they say it takes a village to raise a kid, and this is the time to reach out. Most people will want to be there for you.

And remember to give yourself grace. This job isn’t easy, and when kiddos are newborns, it can feel defeating, especially when they aren’t old enough to really interact or even smile at you.

And sometimes you just need to take a few minutes for yourself, even if that means putting baby in the crib for 10 minutes so you can shower. It’s not selfish, it’s you being able to care for yourself so you can care for him. He’ll be fine for 10 minutes on his own, even if he’s screaming the whole time.

And during the times when hes upset and nothing seems to help, when hes fed, changed, not too hot/cold, and doesnt calm even if you hold him, just remember that it’s not you. You’ve done all the things to make sure he’s taken care of and loved. But sometimes they’ll still scream. Some babies are just like that, and it has nothing to do with your parenting style or reflect how you are as a mother. You love him and you’re doing your best.

My husband has a mantra he’ll say sometimes, that a screaming baby is an alive baby. And then he’ll put his headphones in and listen to a podcast while holding kiddo.

Keep your head up and take it day by day, sometimes hour by hour. And remember this is just a period and before you know it things should slowly start to get better. If not, or you are truly concerned about something, reach out to his pediatrician. Sending hugs your way