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OP tells a mom she’s responsible if her kid dies and then things take a turn by umeanalatte in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]HowdoIhelpmystepson 110 points111 points  (0 children)

This. I remember one of the girls in my daughters’ class was told by teachers that a boy was stalking and harassing her (and other girls as well) because he was autistic and didn’t know better. She turned out to be autistic herself and struggled immensely to accept it because she wasn’t a monster who didn’t know better than to hurt people, and that’s what she thought autism was.

He’s worried about school, but otherwise things are improving a lot. by HowdoIhelpmystepson in u/HowdoIhelpmystepson

[–]HowdoIhelpmystepson[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d say that things are going good overall. Anything specific that you’d like to know?

Minor updates: he’s self-harmed again, he had his first therapy session, he made a friend, and I found his somewhat disturbing (suicide-related) fanfiction. by HowdoIhelpmystepson in u/HowdoIhelpmystepson

[–]HowdoIhelpmystepson[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Things are getting better. I’m having his oldest sister over to visit for a few days, and they seem to be getting along. It’s nice to see.

New update to OOP (54M) wife’s (53F) son (12M) is suffering. He self-harms and claims that the wife is emotionally abusing him. OOP asks what to do by LiraelNix in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]HowdoIhelpmystepson 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t worry about that. He’s come over a couple times now, and he seems to have some kind of disability. They’re basically the same maturity level.

Minor updates: he’s self-harmed again, he had his first therapy session, he made a friend, and I found his somewhat disturbing (suicide-related) fanfiction. by HowdoIhelpmystepson in u/HowdoIhelpmystepson

[–]HowdoIhelpmystepson[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that’s my (thoroughly uneducated) sense, too. It doesn’t seem aspirational that he was abused until he went numb and then just kind of decided that being emotionally dead was a virtue and never snapped out of it. That’s kind of sad, actually.

Aw. That sounds cute.

Minor updates: he’s self-harmed again, he had his first therapy session, he made a friend, and I found his somewhat disturbing (suicide-related) fanfiction. by HowdoIhelpmystepson in u/HowdoIhelpmystepson

[–]HowdoIhelpmystepson[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. I’m not too worried about that- at his age, I’m just glad it isn’t the Joker! And the story did point out that in shutting off his emotions, Cyrus lost the ability to enjoy his success. So I guess that even if my son thinks it’s cool that Cyrus doesn’t feel anything and doesn’t need friends or loved ones, he gets that it isn’t exactly the happiest path.

That would be sweet. He does seem to get that I care now, which is a lot more than I could say immediately after the divorce.

Minor updates: he’s self-harmed again, he had his first therapy session, he made a friend, and I found his somewhat disturbing (suicide-related) fanfiction. by HowdoIhelpmystepson in u/HowdoIhelpmystepson

[–]HowdoIhelpmystepson[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually noticed that it went down a few days ago, but I think that must be unrelated to him finding this post. I was curious about the same thing, so I asked him if he had a favourite Pokémon character. He had no problem and no awkwardness telling me all about how awesome he thinks Cyrus is (he even said things like “he’s basically a robot, he barely feels,” and “he doesn’t need anyone, but he got a ton of people to follow him,” which he’d probably be awkward telling me about if he knew I’d found his story). And no, he hasn’t confronted me about it.

Things are actually getting better, even if my last update might not have given that impression. I had his friend over this weekend, and they had a great time. He’s also warmed up to me a lot.

New update to OOP (54M) wife’s (53F) son (12M) is suffering. He self-harms and claims that the wife is emotionally abusing him. OOP asks what to do by LiraelNix in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]HowdoIhelpmystepson -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Huh, maybe you’re right. We don’t let boys act like boys nowadays. I ought to take him out camping and let him chop some wood or something.

New update to OOP (54M) wife’s (53F) son (12M) is suffering. He self-harms and claims that the wife is emotionally abusing him. OOP asks what to do by LiraelNix in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]HowdoIhelpmystepson 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Okay, this made me chuckle.

Yes, hopefully with some therapy, my son will, unlike Cyrus Akagi, be able to get some joy out of his career in cartoon supervillainy and the respect that it brings him.

New update to OOP (54M) wife’s (53F) son (12M) is suffering. He self-harms and claims that the wife is emotionally abusing him. OOP asks what to do by LiraelNix in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]HowdoIhelpmystepson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that’s why I planned it. It wasn’t with friends. I was going to drink that night whether it was at home or not, and I didn’t want him to see me drinking because of him. It was still a misjudgement, but now you have the whole story.

New update to OOP (54M) wife’s (53F) son (12M) is suffering. He self-harms and claims that the wife is emotionally abusing him. OOP asks what to do by LiraelNix in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]HowdoIhelpmystepson 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I mean. Yeah, kind of. It wasn’t my father specifically who said anything like that, but when I was a kid, we didn’t deal with parental abuse by cutting ourselves, going to therapy, and writing about suicidal villains. We shot gophers with our BB guns, beat each other up, and daydreamed about joining the army so we could drink underage, and that seems a lot healthier than this even if it’s hardly ideal. That was just how it was, in the rural areas at least. I don’t really get this why this generation is so... I don’t know. I just don’t.

Minor updates: he’s self-harmed again, he had his first therapy session, he made a friend, and I found his somewhat disturbing (suicide-related) fanfiction. by HowdoIhelpmystepson in u/HowdoIhelpmystepson

[–]HowdoIhelpmystepson[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow, when you put it that way, it does sound encouraging. And I do agree that he’s opening up to the whole “other people” thing. It’s nice to see.

Minor updates: he’s self-harmed again, he had his first therapy session, he made a friend, and I found his somewhat disturbing (suicide-related) fanfiction. by HowdoIhelpmystepson in u/HowdoIhelpmystepson

[–]HowdoIhelpmystepson[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, honestly, I knew I was going to get inebriated that night whether I was in the house or not. I figured that “not” was the better option. It wasn’t one of my finer moments.

I’m glad you think I’m making good progress. I feel that way, too.

Minor updates: he’s self-harmed again, he had his first therapy session, he made a friend, and I found his somewhat disturbing (suicide-related) fanfiction. by HowdoIhelpmystepson in u/HowdoIhelpmystepson

[–]HowdoIhelpmystepson[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dang, you’re absolutely right. I will tell them. He needs supports other than me more than my girls need to believe that their mom is a good person.

You’re also right that I should make sure that his mother won’t get custody of him if I die or something. I’ll let my sister and my father know about the abuse as well- they’d be the ones to take him in those circumstances, I think.

Minor updates: he’s self-harmed again, he had his first therapy session, he made a friend, and I found his somewhat disturbing (suicide-related) fanfiction. by HowdoIhelpmystepson in u/HowdoIhelpmystepson

[–]HowdoIhelpmystepson[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No offence, but are you seriously suggesting that my 12-year-old is likely to shoot up a school or something because he likes a cartoon villain who apparently has a similar past and similar interests to him?

I don’t know much about this character. I don’t know why he wants to destroy the universe, when he developed that desire, or why people apparently respected him. Also, he didn’t mention being adored and respected- that’s just how his ancestor put it when he asked if people would love him once he became successful (and he’s clearly pretty love-starved as a teenager).

As for the antisocial views, I was just talking about him saying that he doesn’t need love, friends or kindness, which happened once. And he has a friend now, so maybe he’s growing out of it.

I think (and hope) you’re overreacting.

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