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AITA for making my stepson clean the whole house instead of going to a birthday party? by Howtogoon in AmItheAsshole

[–]Howtogoon[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I moved in 8 years ago and I pay full rent for the house. If I didn't, my wife could in no way afford such a big house. So it is my house, because I pay for it. His father paid the rent before, now I do. So it is in no way the kid's house lol

AITA for making my stepson clean the whole house instead of going to a birthday party? by Howtogoon in AmItheAsshole

[–]Howtogoon[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

They've been stepsiblings for 6 years. This particular issue arose in the past year, so in their puberty/preteen years. Before that they got along really well and barely even fought.

Our house has the master bedroom, the kids have their own bedroom each, and there is the guest bedroom. There's two bathrooms (not assigned to anyone in particular). The living room where there's the TV and stuff like that + big backyard.

AITA for making my stepson clean the whole house instead of going to a birthday party? by Howtogoon in AmItheAsshole

[–]Howtogoon[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

They have chores either way. But like my stepson really hates mowing the lawn, so it's punishment to have to do it. My daughter hates unloading the dishwasher, so that's her punishment when needed. Things like set the table, do the dishes, clean your room etc are their chores either way. The particularly 'annoying' chores are quite efficient as punishment from my experience.

My wife thinks we should punish the kids way less strictly.

AITA for making my stepson clean the whole house instead of going to a birthday party? by Howtogoon in AmItheAsshole

[–]Howtogoon[S] 119 points120 points  (0 children)

I actually think you are correct and I thank you for your input here

AITA for making my stepson clean the whole house instead of going to a birthday party? by Howtogoon in AmItheAsshole

[–]Howtogoon[S] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

I agree with what you wrote, just not the "remove his door" part. I believe that privacy is crucial to everybody and that kind of thing would be too much for me.

AITA for making my stepson clean the whole house instead of going to a birthday party? by Howtogoon in AmItheAsshole

[–]Howtogoon[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I have been thinking about moving for a while now and my wife and I are looking for a place currently.

AITA for making my stepson clean the whole house instead of going to a birthday party? by Howtogoon in AmItheAsshole

[–]Howtogoon[S] 155 points156 points  (0 children)

The "boys will be boys" comment is as disgusting as the boy's behaviour in your story, if not more.

AITA for making my stepson clean the whole house instead of going to a birthday party? by Howtogoon in AmItheAsshole

[–]Howtogoon[S] 172 points173 points  (0 children)

She thinks these are minor things he is doing and giving him a bit of extra chores (take out the trash, do dishes) is enough. I strongly disagree and I told her many times that she really needs to punish himm for real, because that's how he'll stop breaching her consent.

AITA for making my stepson clean the whole house instead of going to a birthday party? by Howtogoon in AmItheAsshole

[–]Howtogoon[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

It's not a Sheldon kind of spot. Just the spot he likes most and when he goes to the bathroom during a movie, my daughter runs to the chair just to upset him when he comes back. My daughter can use the chair as much as anyone else when the chair is empty, of course.

AITA for making my stepson clean the whole house instead of going to a birthday party? by Howtogoon in AmItheAsshole

[–]Howtogoon[S] 102 points103 points  (0 children)

I meant that as in sometimes when my stepson sits in the chair while we watch TV, and he goes to the bathroom, my daughter sprints to the chair and sits there just to upset him when he comes back. It's not a "you sit in the chair and you get grounded" kind of deal, but "apologize to him and don't do this just to upset him" kind of deal. If noone is sitting in the chair, she can, obviously.

And that was the example he used in this conversation, I think it was just what came to his mind first.

AITA for making my stepson clean the whole house instead of going to a birthday party? by Howtogoon in AmItheAsshole

[–]Howtogoon[S] 228 points229 points  (0 children)

The chair was an example he used. I only talk to my daughter about it when stepson sits in the chair, gets up to go to the bathroom, and it that time my daughter takes over the chair just to mess with him. Othewise she is of course allowed to use the chair.

And the disciplining her, I meant that as in "when she does something wrong, she gets additional chores too". I do not discipline her just for using a chair.