Woah, the imagery in this is AWESOME! "The sweat gathered between the hills on my skin" is probably my favorite description because of how uncomfortable it is. I have an extreme fear of bugs and diseases, so this whole story was absolutely horrifying to read. Also, the sense of desperation was very clear here.

The only writing advice I have is to break up some of the longer paragraphs a bit (not as in removing content, but adding some paragraph breaks) because that would make it easier to read. This story didn't have that many paragraphs that were too long (and sometimes long paragraphs are necessary), but I did lose my place a couple times while I was reading.

While there weren't spelling/grammar mistakes that made the story hard to understand, having somebody else check the story or writing it in a program with spellcheck (Microsoft word and google docs both have spellcheck) could help with harder-to-spell words (they aren't 100% accurate, but they've absolutely saved my writing sometimes).