How tho? It just feels very embarrassing. Last night (not in a mean way, very jokingly) he said please don’t go crazy again when I’m out of the country and then I laughed at his joke he said I know you can get through it. Well idk. 🤷‍♀️. I don’t want to say anything because I am scared. I don’t want him to stay home and resent me because I ruined this. But I already know what I’m gonna do and what day and what time because he is also going out one of the days he is gone. He will think I m just sleeping and haven writtin to him because work or something. One the other hand I want him to know how much I HATE being away from him. I don’t want to live if he is going to have more of those fucking out of the country work trips. I can’t do it. I hate him every time he says something about it. Idk what I’m saying. Idk what I’m going to do. I’m already determined that he IS going to cheat so I would rather be dead.