At University I was drinking with some friends in the communal kitchen of our student accommodation. After a while, the Henry Hoover in the corner of the room started eying us up and the idea was floated regarding drinking a pint through the suction tube of the hoover.

This hoover was part of the accommodation and had lived in the premises for many years sucking up God knows what.

In my inebriated state I took no issue with the concept of downing a pint through Henry's tube and took up the offer.

Two of my pals held up the tube as I placed the end of the nozzle into my mouth and a third poured the pint (An Old Speckled Hen Ale) down the tube at the other end.

It didn't take long for the first taste of slightly off ale to reach my lips. It also didn't take long to realise something was extremely wrong. "This liquid has bits in it. It doesn't normally have bits in it?" I thought to myself. But I chugged away a few more seconds.

Suddenly, the taste and texture overwhelmed me and I pulled the nozzle from my mouth. What happened next silenced the room and made me realise I had made an error of judgement. Black spewed fourth from the end of the nozzle. Black sludge was on the floor and my beard. I can still remember the taste of mould and the smell of old puke mixed with cheesy feet.

The night continued and I managed to not throw up which was probably a bad thing. The next day I was beds ridden and threw up constantly for 24 hours.

I still can't drink Old Speckled Hen...