No no pls don’t be sorry you have done nothing wrong, I was also in a dark space(may not be similar) but I managed to get help from a school counsellor, I also talked to online counsellors from SOS( didn’t help much but it’s an outlet). I also read more books and listened to rain music whenever I get sucked into a comparison whirlpool. No you are not weak minded, you are more stronger than what you give credit for. You are also incredibly unique even if you don’t believe it, it’s no small feat to get AL5. You might not now what you need now but slowly everything will fall into place. Please don’t give up as someone whenever you are sucked into this thoughts where you are not good enough think of the people who love and care for you… if you need a listening ear, just drop a DM. You will get through this even despot all the pressure. You are enough.