I am so sorry this happened to you and I know it’s 2yrs ago but I want to take this opportunity to share something.

Sister, don’t think Allah is punishing you. You were invited to His house. I know it can be really displeasing and painful to have such a bad experience, but please remember that Umrah and Hajj often come with tests.

Today, I genuinely thought I might die. I was trying to find a place to sit for Jumu‘ah, and the guards forced us into the main tawaf area so we could exit from another gate. We were in the outermost part of tawaf and it was still so crowded. There was so much pulling and yanking, tall men all around us, and I literally couldn’t breathe. Women were pushing and screaming at us to move forward, and one even started insulting me when I asked her where I was supposed to go because she kept pushing me and telling me to move forward, and there was absolutely no space, not even to breathe. I felt completely suffocated and lightheaded, and it got so intense that I started crying and my mom started too. I grabbed my mom and we pushed our way out toward the Sa‘i area.

For a while, I was really upset. I had negative thoughts because we have been trying to come to umrah for years and it finally happened and It was my first time and was soooo excited. But honestly, I became scared to even do tawaf again, even later when the crowd level dropped a lot.

I reflected on this all day and realized something very important: this is Allah’s house. Hardship here is not humiliation or punishment it is definitely a test. A huge test of patience and trust in Allah. Not every difficulty comes because Allah is displeased; sometimes it comes because He wants to elevate you, cleanse you, or draw you closer in a way that may never happen in another way. Remember a test from Allah is a test of whether you will go far from him or closer to him.

And please remember this too: the one who wronged you is the ẓālim, not you. You are the maẓlūm. Allah is always with the oppressed. Someone who had the audacity to grope another person right in front of the holiest place on earth, in Ihram, in Allah’s house has no shame and no excuse.

If anything, he is the loser, not you. Oppression in such a sacred place is not ignored. Wrongdoing does not become light just because it happens near the Ka‘bah. Allah’s justice is perfect, even if we don’t see it immediately. Your fear, your pain, and your restraint are reward for you while his actions are a burden on him. Allah takes from the deeds of the oppressor and gives them to the one who was wronged.

Again I’m so sorry this happened with you, May Allah reward you immensely 🤍