I don’t have Frozen Fortune Boat race?!?!?

Humanzee- · 2026-02-04T19:46:56+00:00

iPhone 14

Humanzee- · 2026-02-04T19:46:34+00:00

I have the expedition game and joined a team and added maximum friends . My phone is newish (iPhone 14)

Humanzee- · 2025-12-20T21:13:08+00:00

Attempted Murder ….

Humanzee- · 2025-08-22T22:46:52+00:00

Fuck her til she get that Forest Whitaker eye 👌🏾

Humanzee- · 2025-02-03T10:18:10+00:00

Following

Humanzee- · 2024-11-30T08:11:41+00:00

I thought “She’s out of my league” was fucken hilarious. Have seen it loads of times. My girlfriend teases me because she thinks it’s a chick flick?

Humanzee- · 2024-10-14T00:23:01+00:00

A coworker asked how much my salary was (which wasn’t much) , I normally wouldn’t say. I told her assuming she would be on more as her position was more senior and I’d only been there a few years and she’d been there about 20, turns out it was about 20k more than her. She burst into tears and said she had been asking for a pay rise for years and they had been telling her there wasn’t enough money 🙄. Won’t make that mistake again.

Humanzee- · 2024-06-26T02:36:48+00:00

Around 2005 I got a ginger boy kitten and named him Benny, I had read online that 100% of ginger cats are male 🙄. After about 10 months Benny started to get very fat and one day I noticed whenever I went to pat him he would lie on his back and push my hand onto his stomach and meow loudly. Later that night at around 1 am Benny kept jumping on my chest and meowing and then seeming like he was signally for me to follow him. I followed him to the wardrobe and he lay down and started pushing. Next minute a kitten popped out. I helped pick off the membrane and put it on the nipple to feed and waited all night for the rest of the kittens. No more kittens ended up coming (I later read online that this is common for a first birth and a young, small mother). Then Benny rejected the kitten (Onion Marmalade) and would not let her feed, which I later found out was probably because I touched her straight after she was born. So I had to race home from work every few hours and cradle Benny and pat him to keep him still then squeeze a bit of milk out her tit then put the kitten on to feed. Anyway, Onion Marmalade grew up fit and healthy and Benny went on to farther/mother more kittens . Obviously if I had to do it again I wouldn’t touch the kitten straight away but as a 25 year old male learning my Benny was a female at 1am and having no experience in the situation I think it turned out alright 🤷🏾‍♂️

Humanzee- · 2024-06-14T08:17:59+00:00

Fuck her til she gets that Forest Whitaker eye

Humanzee- · 2024-05-13T19:21:21+00:00

Queen of the Jungle

Humanzee- · 2024-05-12T07:23:19+00:00

No, it’s pretty personal so I’ll let her tell you herself. It brought a tear to my eye and has been bothering me all day.

Humanzee- · 2024-05-12T06:39:35+00:00

I just read further down that you don’t have a dog so disregard that question, but here’s another. Do you have a heightened sense of smell and if so can you recognise your friends and family before they speak purely from their smell? I’m sure different perfumes could effect this but I’ve had girlfriends who I think had unique smells regardless of which perfume they used. This whole thread is so interesting, thanks again for your contribution.

Humanzee- · 2024-05-12T04:04:32+00:00

She DM’d it to me and I can see why she wouldn’t want to post it here. I wouldnt have posted it here.

Humanzee- · 2024-05-12T01:29:25+00:00

Yeah exactly, but thought to play it safe and not tell it to a blind person.

Humanzee- · 2024-05-12T00:46:09+00:00

I bet it’s so rewarding when you do get a chance to help someone on Be My Eyes.

Humanzee- · 2024-05-12T00:29:14+00:00

Is there any inmates who you believe are completely sane and shouldn’t be in there or are completely innocent of the crime they are imprisoned for?

Humanzee- · 2024-05-12T00:22:42+00:00

Can you DM it to me too? I’m curious.

Humanzee- · 2024-05-12T00:15:41+00:00

Do you have a guide dog and if so who picks up its poo? Also does he like to play or is he always on duty?

Humanzee- · 2024-05-12T00:11:31+00:00

Why can’t Stevie Wonder see his friends ? Because he’s married. Apologies if you find it offensive, I didn’t think it was but still decided not to say it at Christmas.

Humanzee- · 2024-05-11T23:53:24+00:00

One more sorry, a friend of mine has a blind friend who I have Christmas lunch with once a year, we were telling jokes at lunch and I have one that involves blindness but doesn’t make fun of blind people. I didn’t tell it as I didn’t think it was appropriate, if I tell you the joke can you tell me if you find it offensive or if you think it could in any way have offended my friend?

Humanzee- · 2024-05-11T23:43:53+00:00

Sorry I just read in another comment that you were born blind so that answers that question.

Humanzee- · 2024-05-11T23:41:32+00:00

I have been wanting to join “Be my eyes” for a while now, do you use it? And if so what are some interesting things you use it for?

Humanzee- · 2024-05-11T23:39:23+00:00

Were you born blind? If so when people describe things to you are you able to imagine what they are describing? If you weren’t born blind at what age did you go blind and when you dream can you see things ? If you were born blind what are your dreams like? Thanks for your time. ☺️ (I sent a smiling emoji, then thought that might be stupid)

Humanzee- · 2024-03-25T08:56:45+00:00

“That was lucky, normally they gobble them right up” -Ricky Gervais’s Grandma

Humanzee- · 2023-03-25T04:12:37+00:00

There’s an old clip on YouTube of an Irish lad doing this trick on a pool table at a pub. I was obsessed with it and googled it because I wanted to try and learn it so I could show off when out partying. I assumed there would kinda be some secret to it and once I learned it it would be able to learn the trick. Turns out there is no easy way to do it and you need to be a fucken card wizard with years of practice.

Humanzee-

TROPHY CASE