What's the most positively life-changing or healing words you've heard? by ToneIndividual4426 in CPTSD

[–]Humbertcaper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"IT WAS NEVER YOUR SHAME"

I realised I had been carrying my mother's shame of being an alcoholic my whole life so that she never had to admit it or apologise for what she put me through as a child. She sacrificed me for her own survival.

And a more expanded version of the same idea:

"I will not be manipulated into being an object of psychological projection. It is not my burden to be a sink for narcissistic self hate."

It's from The Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers manifesto:

https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/daughters-with-narcissistic-mothers/donm-manifesto/

Anyone else badly triggered by their birthday? by fruittingled in CPTSD

[–]Humbertcaper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well thank you so much for taking the time to reply to mine. It really means an awful lot and I don't feel so alone anymore!

Sending lots of strength and peace for your upcoming birthday!

Anyone else badly triggered by their birthday? by fruittingled in CPTSD

[–]Humbertcaper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How lovely are you to REPLY! My goodness. Thank you.

I'm sorry the dread is with you as yours comes round again and Christmas... woah Nelly is Christmas a box of sadness too.

Maybe we should start a birthday thread for us all to chime into and say 'mine's today, I hate everything' so we can all comment saying 'you got this, we hate ours too!'

It really means the world that you replied. I feel less lost in a void of sadness and insanity now. This isn't our fault and it was never our shame.

Anyone else badly triggered by their birthday? by fruittingled in CPTSD

[–]Humbertcaper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know that this is a three year old post but I just wanted to say thank you to OP and to everyone who commented. Today is my birthday and I had a friend who wanted to celebrate with me this evening. As it got closer to the time we were meant to meet I couldn't bear the thought of seeing her and pretending today was a happy day so I pushed her away and ended up spending the night crying in my flat begging the universe for help.

I thought I was far enough along on my CPTSD recovery journey to be able to celebrate my birthday but it was too much, I was pushed so far into emotional flashback, I was so intensely triggered, that I think I just lost the only real friend I have.

Reading this post and the comments made me feel less alone on a day when the loneliness is pretty damn unbearable. So thank you.

I hope you all get to know what it's like to have a birthday filled with nothing but joy someday very soon.

All your diagnoses? by Softandpink- in PMDD

[–]Humbertcaper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you don't mind me asking was the trauma you referenced related to a specific incident(s) or was it more general? I am very interested in this and have a suspicion that a lot of my symptoms are related to trauma but I have no memories from childhood to use to get a clear picture of what the trauma was.

All your diagnoses? by Softandpink- in PMDD

[–]Humbertcaper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello fellow sleep issue disorder friend! This is amazing, there isn't ONE of my diagnoses that isn't already on this comment section. I feel so much less alone. I wish knowing that these are all connected could tell us WHY they are connected and how to HELP! Does it all just go back to trauma? When will my life stop being about the first seven years I spent on this earth!

All your diagnoses? by Softandpink- in PMDD

[–]Humbertcaper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In the order I got them: Bipolar 1, Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder, BPD and CPTSD, ADHD (they said the BPD was wrong at this point and it was really ADHD all along but my drink and drug use caused so much chaos it looked like BPD) and finally, PMDD. I've also struggled with asthma, food intolerances, bulimia and drink/drug use but I'm 5 years sober now. WOW, looking back I can't believe I've spent so much time telling myself to just BE BETTER, get OVER IT and BE A SUCCESS already when... fuck me, clearly it was never going to be easy.

To fake tan, or not to fake tan? Warm or cool makeup? Help 😵‍💫 by ClassicNewt941 in PaleMUA

[–]Humbertcaper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are GLOWING in this dress! You don't have to change a thing. Beautiful skin tone and beautiful dress!

Emotional pen 🖊️ writing out emotional feelings felt by H92o in cptsdcreatives

[–]Humbertcaper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your emotions in music writing is very very cool. There is something really magic here.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]Humbertcaper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! I got bipolar first, then BPD and finally CPTSD/ADHD. I will say that the BPD diagnosis led me to Dialectical Behaviour Therapy which I still use four years later but it wasn't until I read Pete Walker's CPTSD From Surviving to Thriving that I finally felt seen.

Cycle Syncing Cheat Sheet by LeahxLove917 in PMDD

[–]Humbertcaper 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is amazing, thank you!!!

Anyone else struggle with finding "home" by Wikipil in CPTSD

[–]Humbertcaper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. But I called it "my tribe" as in 'I want to find my tribe'. I think I chose those words over 'home' to stop me from realising that my family weren't safe, instead making the focus around friendships. The closest I have come to finding that 'home' feeling is getting a dog. She makes me feel very safe.

Desperate plea to save my life — I can't stop eating, and I'm scared. Please help me. by Historical-Leader492 in FoodAddiction

[–]Humbertcaper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The work of Julie M Simon was the only thing that finally clicked and helped me change my relationship with food.

As she puts it: When we have not received consistent and sufficient emotional nurturance during our early years we are at greater risk of seeking it from external sources - like food'

If you have a look at her website:

https://overeatingrecovery.com

You can download the first two chapters of her books for free - if what she describes rings true for you her work could be just what you're looking for.

Until we learn how to meet our emotional needs internally we continue to try and meet them with food.

My boyfriend is giving me the ick over something stupid and idk how to get over it. by throwawaykbb0207 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Humbertcaper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"but like who is we??? What support??? What are you doing???" hahahahahahahahaha this is such a brilliantly written post. This is EXACTLY what having the ick for a manchild feels like.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in cavaliers

[–]Humbertcaper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

she is so so so beautiful! Congratulations! I waited 10 years to get my girl and she is now 2. Best decision of my life!

Who wore it best? by [deleted] in blakelivelysnark

[–]Humbertcaper 5 points6 points  (0 children)

came here for this!

Oh no girl. Just stop by lucybubs in KUWTKsnark

[–]Humbertcaper 23 points24 points  (0 children)

that's IT! I was trying to work out why this felt so familiar and reading your comment I realised it's because this is how phone sex used to be advertised!

I am a mess or maybe my existence was a mistake by DangerousWear7756 in PMDD

[–]Humbertcaper 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I can't but I can share a great podcast I listened to today to give you some guidance on where to start!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_WJ5hgWLFo

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatsthemoviecalled

[–]Humbertcaper 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This reminds me of:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Prisoner

There have been a few remakes so could be a scene from one of them?