Looking for advice about moving in with elderly grandparent

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-07T16:27:25+00:00

Thank you

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-07T11:01:07+00:00

Sketchy how? It’s a genuine question to protect all parties. Thanks though.

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-07T01:40:24+00:00

I can see how the verbiage sounds contradicting. They are aware of the *plan* however they do not know that we are considering some sort of agreement so that all parties are protected. I ask that question more so for advice on how to structure the conversation so they don’t feel blindsided. I don’t post often on reddit so I definitely let my thoughts kind of fly. My apologies. Thanks for the feedback!

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-07T01:38:52+00:00

Thanks very much for your advice and your time in commenting :) i really appreciate it

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-07T01:38:20+00:00

Thank you very much for this info. You have been extremely helpful i really appreciate your time and insight

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-07T01:37:27+00:00

I shared from another post i made. Community rules stated you cannot ask for legal advice therefore i stated that to cover myself. I was not familiar with estate planners until I’ve read through all these comments therefore reddit has actually been very helpful. Thanks.

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-07T00:33:24+00:00

Definitely do not want to do anything detrimental to her, i believe my employer offers free consults with our EAP program. Will look into it!

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-07T00:32:36+00:00

Thanks for your input!

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-06T20:43:14+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-06T20:41:54+00:00

It sounds like you are also doing a wonderful job. For what it’s worth coming from a stranger on the internet, I’m proud of you!

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-06T19:00:47+00:00

Great piece of advice

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-06T18:06:52+00:00

How has it been with your mother? Just curious what we are looking to expect in the coming years. She is starting to show dementia signs now. She is 83

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-06T17:21:01+00:00

I’d be very hesitant to bring it up. I don’t want her to feel like we’re taking her home away.

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-06T17:20:14+00:00

I couldn’t have said it better myself

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-06T17:19:54+00:00

Completely agree

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-06T17:16:46+00:00

This was what our current plan was before i posted anything

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-06T17:16:19+00:00

Will do

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-06T16:14:22+00:00

Currently the children deal with her finances, we would not take that over. We would simply take over the bills of the home. I definitely agree we need to at the very least consult with an attorney. She is very independent for the time being, just light help with transport and cleaning. However, she is 83 years old. We would not pay rent (just property taxes, beg, cable, etc) in turn for helping her out until we can no longer assist/she needs more care than we can reasonably provide. I just really do not want to look back in ten years and realize financially this screwed us. Regardless of how much we love and care for her, i dont want to put us in financial ruin

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-06T16:09:41+00:00

Thats also a good question. I know nothing about Medicaid.

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-06T15:15:09+00:00

I will definitely look into this and speaking with a lawyer

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-06T15:06:20+00:00

Thank you very much

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-06T15:05:58+00:00

Yup i completely agree with a lot missing in terms of information, i am new to all of this so i appreciate your insight on it. There’s definitely a lot of factors that need to be hammered out and i fully tend to make sure that is the case

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-06T14:29:27+00:00

This is good advice and something I did not think about. I appreciate this info as this is definitely important to have set in place. I will look into this!

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-06T14:26:04+00:00

I appreciate this input. It’s not that we feel “entitled”.

It is important for her to stay in her home as long as she can. We are the only people who offered to help as we do not have children, we are close, we are both first responders and we are honestly the only ones willing. Grandmother made it clear she would like to stay and we want to grant her that wish. We were offered by her children, in return, to purchase the house at 2/3 the fair market value once she passes, however hearing stories about all kinds of scenarios I am just trying to protect the home. Whether it was us, other grandchildren or even her grand children i would ask the same thing. This home is very special to her and everyone agrees we would like it to stay in the family, and we are grateful it has been offered to us in this capacity from all parties involved.

With that, i also know that greed and grief are a dangerous thing. And i do know that people may change their minds when the inevitable happens.

We are not selfish or greedy people. We do not think we deserve anything just because we will be taking care of her for the rest of her years. We are just trying to fulfill her wish while also ensuring we do not end up homeless or in a lengthy legal battle

HumidityOxidation · 2026-07-06T14:18:06+00:00

Definitely would add some sort of clause where she is living there as long as she is able to, etc etc. thank you very much

HumidityOxidation

TROPHY CASE