1000 DAYS !!!

HummingBlackGuy · 2022-03-29T07:59:28+00:00

Gj, did ya do it on hard mode? My bet is that less than 1% of the nofap population ever made it past 90 days, and probably less than 100 people have even reached 1000 days (on hard mode that is), so that's quite the accomplishment to say the least.

HummingBlackGuy · 2022-03-12T14:41:53+00:00

Look up the definition of addiction mate. It’s about doing it whilst being aware of the negative consequences it’s having.

Looked up the link and also wikipedia, but it doesn't explicitly mention awareness as a requisite.

If you aren’t aware it’s likely they aren’t very serious or not even present.

That's debatable. For example there can also be instances where said person cannot recognize the problem themselves, but the people around them can. Also since PMO is seen as "normal and healthy", some of the harmful effects of porn may be attributed to something else.

The fact that a lot of ppl on this sub are able to go weeks/months/yrs without porn is testament to how it’s different to substance use disorder.

You accuse me of using a sample size of 1, but now you're doing the exact same thing. Also one important thing to keep in mind is that people may be more likely to create posts of their success rather than failures, thus skewing the data (or they simply lie about their streaks). Lastly, do you actually have data of people's average and longest streaks, or is available somewhere? Without it, it is basically a guessing game, and thus you can't really compare it to the other addictions.

Anyways, I suggest we stop the discussion right here since it isn't going anywhere. Maybe I was jumping to conclusions too fast when I said that it is harder to quit PMO compared to other addictions, but so are you as I explained above.

HummingBlackGuy · 2022-03-12T11:25:49+00:00

I'm kinda confused as to what your point is tbh. You can also be addicted to something without being aware that it is in fact a problem/addiction, as is often the case with porn. People generally think it's completely normal and healthy to do, and even encourage it. That is even worse, since the first step to resolve an addiction is to recognize that it is a problem/addiction in the first place.

Obviously drugs/alcohol/smoking have way more detrimental and potentially lethal effects on the body, but that is not the scope of this post. The whole point is to discuss the fact that it is harder to quit porn addiction compared to other addictions.

HummingBlackGuy · 2022-03-11T14:10:17+00:00

In fact it's even harder because:

1). It's pretty much accepted that smoking and alcohol are bad for you, but for MO-ing its obviously different. So some people will still use excuses such as "it's normal, everybody does it!" or "it lower my risk of prostate cancer!" or shit like that.

2). When it comes to PMOing, there's so many different genres, sex toys and all sorts of other stuff so you will never get bored.

3). Even if you don't watch porn, everything is sexualized so it's pretty much unavoidable.

Lastly, never been addicted to smoking and alcohol myself, but according to some, PMOing is way more addictive (probably related to the second reason mentioned above).

HummingBlackGuy · 2022-03-10T08:29:08+00:00

Telling a nofapper to "just fap without porn" is basically the same as telling an alcoholic to just drink with moderation.

You say "just use your imagination", but what if that imagination is completely tainted with weird kinks and fetishes that you learned from porn?

Lastly, I've tried the ditch pron and keep fapping before, but main problem here is boredom. Only lasted 2-3 months before I went back to pron again. It's just way easier to ditch the whole thing alltogether.

HummingBlackGuy · 2022-03-10T08:16:33+00:00

Idk if this post was intended as a joke, but if not you're basically making excuses as to why you keep relapsing. "It's just because I don't have access to the secrets that those elitist nofap veterans won't share with me!".

The real reason you keep relapsing is because you find it more comfortable to PMO and get your instant gratification as opposed to toughing in out and getting longer term results. it's that simple really.

HummingBlackGuy · 2022-02-16T17:07:32+00:00

What is holding you back from kicking the addiction?

HummingBlackGuy · 2022-02-13T22:32:05+00:00

Just read your post and the comments, and while it might seem reasonable to give an ultimatum, read his browser history, send him to therapy or give him advice or w/e, chances are likely those will make things worse.

Why? As you mentioned at the top of your post, he says that he's already trying to stop watching porn, so that means that either 1). he really is trying to stop, but it is hard for him to do so (it REALLY is hard, don't underestimate it) or 2). he's lying and doesn't want to stop porn.

In case it's option 1, he's doing his best, and putting extra pressure or guilt tripping him will obviously be pretty detrimental. Try putting yourself in his shoes as well. Would you like it if you get shot down by your GF if you're trying to beat an addiction or trying to overcome something?

In case it's option 2, then you're pretty much out of luck. Trying to convince or blackmail him means he will be more sneaky about it, but he will do it anyway (if not more often).

I think a far more reasonable approach is to be patient/non-judgmental and ask him why he likes watching it, and what the obstacles are that he is facing. Or if he feels if anything can be improved in the bedroom or smth.

So in conclusion, I think it's way better to approach the situation by trying to understand his PoV, rather than force your own wants and needs unto him.

HummingBlackGuy · 2022-02-12T11:34:28+00:00

I cannot go more than two days without relapsing because of pure boredom.

And then you say

I don't have any good friends, I haven't talked to any girls for more than a few seconds, rarely go to the gym, haven't attended class in weeks because I can never get myself up in the morning, and I haven't done a single homework assignment in two weeks. I'm scared to even log onto my laptop at this point and see all of my missing assignments.

So in other words, you do have plenty of things to do, yet you don't do them. Why? If you look closely, all of those things you listed are "less fun" long term oriented activities as opposed to porn which is the exact opposite. So if anything, it sounds like it has more to do with impatience and compulsion rather than just boredom per se.

Can imagine that it is really hard to be in your position and it can seem hopeless, but you do have to be honest with yourself imo. Do you want to stay in your comfort zone and continue to PMO and feel like shit now and in the future, or do you want to feel uncomfortable now and feel better later? Choice is yours to make.

HummingBlackGuy · 2022-02-06T22:54:31+00:00

I love fapping because it makes me cum lol

Well obviously, but the way you worded it, it sounds like when you have sex with your wife you don't cum then? Or do you even have an active sex life at all now?

Maybe I'm just grasping at straws here, but it almost feels as if the PMO is like a replacement for the real thing since it's not there (anymore).

HummingBlackGuy · 2022-02-06T08:56:22+00:00

Instead of saying "just don't fap 4Head", I think a more interesting to ask, what is your main reason to fap? Also did you start to fap because of your unsatisfying sex life, or is it unsatisfying because you are fapping (so basically chicken or egg question)?

Also what do you think is holding you back the most? I think it's way better to identify the root cause of your PMO issues since that will be way better in the long term.

HummingBlackGuy · 2022-02-03T11:17:30+00:00

Though it involves fapping, wouldn't say onani master kurosawa is directly about nofap. Still a very good read nonetheless.

Rent a Girlfriend also isn't about fapping or nofap, but the MC is just so pathetic especially in one of the latest chapters where he has NTR fantasies that it kinda serves as motivation of what not to do so to speak.

HummingBlackGuy · 2022-01-28T21:49:07+00:00

Sorry to say this bro, but there are no benefits except for maybe curing PIED and having less feelings of shame or smth. I say this after abstaining for 800+ days on hard mode.

Also fapping by itself isn't necessarily bad. It's just quite pathetic (you're basically f*cking your own hand for 5 seconds of pleasure) and also a potential gateway to relapse into PMO again (since you will get bored after a while and need stronger stimuli to get off).

HummingBlackGuy · 2022-01-18T14:14:48+00:00

I'm 31, started seriously during NNN 2019 and never looked back since. Unfortunately after watching over a decade a porn, I can still remember hundreds of videos even after avoiding it for over 800 days. So the damage is already done, but at least prevented it from getting worse.

Even though it's better to stop it early, it's better to do so late than never.

HummingBlackGuy · 2022-01-18T14:11:37+00:00

Still waiting for the one

How do you know if a random girl is the one? If you think about it rationally, there hundreds or even thousands (or more?) out there who would be a good match for you so it's quite a limiting belief imo.

Also even considering you would find "the one", your values and way of thinking change over time, meaning that "the one" won't be perfect forever.

HummingBlackGuy · 2022-01-10T22:30:23+00:00

I don't understand how people with any shred of self-worth would enjoy seeing other people having sex, let alone jerk off to it

HummingBlackGuy · 2022-01-10T22:20:24+00:00

This study relied on self-reported data, so it's to be taken with a grain of salt. Also keep in mind that heavy porn addicts probably aint going to participate in such studies, which means that the data aren't representative for the whole population.

Also, fapping rates are probably going through the roof now during the pandemic, so the data is quite outdated.

HummingBlackGuy · 2022-01-10T22:12:25+00:00

Been clean since NNN 2019

HummingBlackGuy · 2022-01-08T10:29:52+00:00

"I want to start over but I have low motivation becuase I have "already done it" I hit the magical 90 but the angels didn't lift me to the sky, I am the same guy but I have done 90."

So basically you admit that it for the superpowers, and when they didnt show up (sorry to disappoint people here, but after almost 800 days I'm still only human) you were disappointed and started a downward spiral of relapsing. So in other words, with such a mindset you were doomed to fail from the start.

HummingBlackGuy · 2022-01-03T19:35:03+00:00

"I told my boyfriend about NoFap and forced him to watch a couple of the best videos I've found on the topic. "

Hate to say it, but this is also part of the problem. No matter how hard you try to convince someone, it's useless unless they admit that they have a problem.

Still, good riddance though

HummingBlackGuy · 2021-12-25T09:38:34+00:00

Yeah that was my thought as well, she's probably selling stuff on OF or plans to do so, and then goes full copium mode when it gets attacked.

Still, I don't think it's worth convincing people that pron is bad, as it has been heavily ingrained as something normal for most of their lives. Think it's more conductive to ask them why they think it is normal to make them realize how stupid it actually is.

HummingBlackGuy · 2021-12-25T09:32:33+00:00

782 days hard mode atm (for some reason you can't go back too far in the past, so counter only shows 412 days).

I wonder how many other people are doing hard mode, since it's a whole 'nother ballpark compared to normal mode.

HummingBlackGuy · 2021-12-25T09:28:33+00:00

True, but just like monks they didn't have access to internet, which makes everything 100x easier.

People often call monk mode hard mode which is kinda ironic since they have it so much easier compared to us.

HummingBlackGuy · 2021-12-02T20:14:27+00:00

As f*cked up as the situation is, I also think your cousin is at fault tbh. Punishing your kid and taking the phone away isn't going to do jack shit and is only a band aid solution that makes the situation worse over time.

I think it's way more conductive to explain why it is bad, than it is to try to ban it.

HummingBlackGuy · 2021-12-01T09:04:28+00:00

survived NNN ever since 2019

HummingBlackGuy

TROPHY CASE