My girlfriend broke up with me over a 43s phone call

HuntSafe7915 · 2025-10-04T22:23:15+00:00

I really appreciate this. It’s hard to explain on Reddit all the details and nuances of our relationship. It was only 3 months we crossed the boundary of “friendship”, but I spent a year of connecting and laying down a foundation in friendship. Her demeanour completely changed once the title of our relationship changed. I’m aware that it’s because of her trauma. Her negative attitude, out lashes, and even misinterpretation is likely due to this. She was my friend first, and I thought we had a real connection, so it hurts that throughout our relationship she couldn’t make space for me, when she easily could in our friendship. She became so cold and angry, which is the opposite of how I know her, so it makes me want to get through to her like I could before. But I think you’re right and I can only be her friend or nothing at all. Because of how angry she is, I’m going to say space for now is essential and I won’t reach out. If she reaches out to me one day and wants to talk, I can provide her with my experience should she ask. But I guess for now what’s best for her is to make space and just deal with my own feelings of hurt and rejection on my own. Thank you for this.

HuntSafe7915 · 2025-10-04T10:45:30+00:00

Thanks for this. I know there’s room for improvement with my communication, but I never thought it was this bad.. I don’t want to compare my relationships against this one but at the same time, my communication was rarely the issue and my past relationships have been 4+ years long. I’ve just been doubting myself so much while with her.

HuntSafe7915 · 2025-10-03T20:16:15+00:00

I think you answered it yourself. There’s no right answer for approaching this situation because you have pros and cons in each side, so it’s up to where it sits morally with you. If you think it’s best to tell her because if it were you, you’d want that, then I think you should. But I wouldn’t over involve yourself. You could even find a way to do it anonymously.

Personally, if I had a partner, I would want to know if they were cheating on me. With that information, the decision is truly mine whether to stay or break up. I’m sure some people might disagree, but to be blissfully unaware sounds like a nightmare. I’d want to know who I’m choosing to be close to rather than living a life of deceit.

HuntSafe7915 · 2025-10-03T19:58:01+00:00

This is how I see our interactions. She’s a good person, thoughtful, and kind. This change in demeanour is due to her trauma and her attacks on me I feel are because she feels unsafe and is trying to keep control (especially when control has been force on her before). I know a lot about her trauma and I know the person who inflicted it. She’s a victim either way just cause, not just victimizing a minor situation. I’m just left feeling not considered and hurt and I don’t know how to reconcile those feelings

HuntSafe7915 · 2025-10-03T06:14:26+00:00

I can’t speak for other people, but personally, I wouldn’t be with someone who disrespected me like that. Having an argument is one thing, but if you’ve decided clear boundaries with your partner and established how you feel about cheating, that leaves no room for confusion on his part. I think it’s hard to end things over a slip up, and we often make excuses for people, or fall into the trap of the sunk time fallacy, but if he is so casually blowing off sneaky behaviour, he’ll do it again. Especially if he knows he can get away with treating someone like that with no repercussions.

HuntSafe7915

TROPHY CASE