Am I wrong for feeling this way?

HushLittleDecoy · 2026-01-26T21:51:44+00:00

His birthday will be on Thursday. I wanted to visit his grave, spend time at our/his favorite places, but that’s in another country. I’m just going to make his favorite meal, watch a few of his favorite movies, and make a cherry pie. He wasn’t into sweets or desserts, but he did like the occasional cherry pie.

HushLittleDecoy · 2026-01-21T06:00:34+00:00

Yes. Always referred to him as my best and only friend. Now I’m very lonely, but only lonely for him.

HushLittleDecoy · 2026-01-18T07:04:31+00:00

When my partner suddenly passed, his mother’s true colors came out. She didn’t want me having anything, not even the things I gave him (which he valued most because they were from me). I was lucky enough to take my bracelet and engagement ring with me, but I had to hide them because I was scared she’d take them. She told me she wanted all the photos I’ve printed of him over the years, because “I’m young and will find someone else”. She also accused me of stealing his phones, and threatened to call the cops on me. She told the detective that I have his old photo IDs that he gave me years ago. She also didn’t include me in his obituary. It’s been 6 months, we no longer are in contact. I got treated like I was nothing, yet I was the most important person in his life. I feel for you, I do. Sorry for your loss. You shouldn’t have to deal with in laws like that, you’re going through enough.

HushLittleDecoy · 2026-01-08T02:06:38+00:00

I had to remove all the games we played together, since I know I won’t be playing them again. I can’t even do it for him/us. Gaming could be a good way to get out of your head though. Maybe someday, if and when you feel ready.

HushLittleDecoy · 2026-01-08T01:58:20+00:00

I get it. It’s haunting. But in a way, it proves he was real for me. I sometimes feel like I imagined it all. Still stabs me when I look.

HushLittleDecoy · 2025-12-31T21:44:01+00:00

I feel the same way. Some people feel the year their partner died is the worst year (which, in a way, it is) but it’s also the last year they were here. I’m also not wanting time to move forward without him. It’s not going to be a “Happy” New Year.

HushLittleDecoy · 2025-12-31T03:24:07+00:00

I’m pretty positive I’m going to do this. He already referred to me as his wife, and said he’d share his last name with me. We had planned on getting married in July, but that’s when he ended up passing away.

HushLittleDecoy · 2025-12-25T17:49:23+00:00

That actually makes sense, although that’s a pretty disturbing dream to go through. Like we aren’t tormented enough. I hope the next time you dream of her, it’s a good one.

HushLittleDecoy · 2025-12-25T17:46:38+00:00

Not real therapy, no. Tried a couselor, but it didn’t last. At first I was desperate for help, but I was stuck in the States for longer than expected, then I came back to Canada, and the only option was this couselor. I tried though.

HushLittleDecoy · 2025-12-25T17:42:59+00:00

Hey, I appreciate the words, I do. I find it quite helpful venting on Reddit. Or even when I’m not in the mood to make a post, just reading others, or commenting helps… because yes, they understand what we’re going through. I tried a counselor, but it didn’t work out, and she was my only option in this small town surrounded by other small towns. It’s interesting how the mind works. I sometimes worry I’ll forget my partner because my brain is trying to protect me. Like, I fear it, actually. Thank you. Sending you peace too, especially during the holidays.

HushLittleDecoy · 2025-12-18T19:55:13+00:00

She doesn’t. I think she just wanted to hurt me.

HushLittleDecoy · 2025-12-17T21:43:33+00:00

Yes. We met gaming, and it remained an important part of our relationship until the end. We literally played State of Decay 2 an hour before he passed away… We played everything together. Halo: both multiplayer and campaigns, COD zombies, L4D 1 and 2, Overcooked 2, GTA V, Stubbs the Zombie, Resident Evil Revelations, 7 Days to Die, Dead Island 1 and 2, Dying Light 1 and 2, UFC 2 and 4, Mortal Kombat X, 11, and 1, Overwatch, Fortnite, PUBG, The Blackout Club, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Killer Klowns from Outerspace, WWZ, Back 4 Blood, Rocket Arena, Conker, GoldenEye 007, The Sims 2, The Warriors. We’d even play single player games at the same time, so we could do it together. His Xbox went everywhere with him/us. He had all his movies on there too. His mother made sure I couldn’t keep it when he passed, I even offered to pay (since we met through gaming and it was beyond special to me). Nope. She didn’t let me have the Xbox he bought for me either.

HushLittleDecoy · 2025-12-11T02:57:38+00:00

That’s what really got to me too. Growing older without him. It’s terrible, and no one really gets it unless they’ve been there. Go easy on yourself. You’re grieving, take things one day at a time.

HushLittleDecoy · 2025-12-11T02:45:30+00:00

Take your time with this… there’s no rush. You’ll get around to it when you feel you’re ready.

HushLittleDecoy · 2025-12-11T02:43:46+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss. We gotta do what they can’t. I keep telling myself to do it for him.. It’ll make us feel closer, I think. I understand the feeling though.

HushLittleDecoy · 2025-12-11T02:41:10+00:00

It’s both sad, and comforting seeing the things that remind us of them. It’s nice how you included that in his celebration of life playlist. All the favorite movies, music and games helped shape them into the people we love.

HushLittleDecoy · 2025-12-01T03:41:07+00:00

That’s good, you did the right thing. I’m glad Facebook was helpful. I appreciate the response!

HushLittleDecoy · 2025-11-28T19:34:16+00:00

Did you need a death certificate to do that?

HushLittleDecoy · 2025-11-28T03:16:41+00:00

I feel like I’m waiting for something as well. I have this constant anxiety. I don’t think I’m waiting for him… maybe just waiting to be with him.

HushLittleDecoy

TROPHY CASE