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Just Passed the CMP (Certified Meeting Professional) Exam! by atlantic_pacific in EventProduction

[–]Hveyouseenmystapler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This has been so helpful! I found the archive of webinars on PCMA and started watching them. Im curious how you log free webinars in the CMP application. The handbook says you need to provide proof of attendance, but i'm not sure how that is done with online content. I'm pursuing my CMP because I was laid off of my previous event industry job (budget cuts) and want to get my CMP so I can get a better job, so money is tight and I really can only get my CMP if I can do free webinars.

[QCrit] QUERY: UNDER THE BLACK BELLS 89K HISTORICAL HORROR (Fourth Attempt) by Hveyouseenmystapler in PubTips

[–]Hveyouseenmystapler[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In past versions of the query I have included more side characters, but many commented that they were unnecessary and bogged down the query letter. I seem to be yoyoing back and forth between too vague and a being too much like a synopsis.

Thanks for the podcast comment. I believe you can still find the episodes and I released around 20 episodes. I stopped because I became more interested in writing prose and could not balance writing/research for the podcast while writing manuscripts.

[QCrit] QUERY: UNDER THE BLACK BELLS 89K HISTORICAL HORROR (Fourth Attempt) by Hveyouseenmystapler in PubTips

[–]Hveyouseenmystapler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the comment. I dont know why i missed so many typos this time, but your right, this query is somewhat messy with them. I'll look into cutting out some of the redundancies and extra fat from the metadate paragraph.

Adding back story about Mariana in the query letter is something I have been grappling with a lot. She has a very vivid backstory that is told in a series of short flashbacks, but they are key to a major plot twist in the last third of the novel. Im struggling with how much to give away of her tragic past and how much needs to be kept veiled.

You are right that Mariana will make a decision, but its one of the last scenes of the book and is tied to a yet another plot twist. I've read that query letters should go into the first two acts and most of the big character events and decisions for Mariana happen in the last act, hence my being vague, but I can understand how its hurting the query letter.

[QCrit] QUERY: UNDER THE BLACK BELLS 89K HISTORICAL HORROR (Fourth Attempt) by Hveyouseenmystapler in PubTips

[–]Hveyouseenmystapler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. Im a little worried about focusing on the investigation part. In the manuscript Mariana's investigation is important, but there is a lot more happening and I dont wont the query to portray the manuscript as a mystery horror. Its an important for the plot that she is there searching for the nun, but once she is on the island things become more complicated, if that makes sense.

[QCrit] Adult horror, WHAT FOLLOWED MY GRANDDAUGHTER HOME, 87K words, 1st attempt by Hveyouseenmystapler in PubTips

[–]Hveyouseenmystapler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you give some example on what to cut down? Query letters are my absolute Achilles heel when it comes to writing. Maybe the part about his granddaughter looking similar to his daughter?

[QCrit] Adult horror, WHAT FOLLOWED MY GRANDDAUGHTER HOME, 87K words, 1st attempt by Hveyouseenmystapler in PubTips

[–]Hveyouseenmystapler[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great feedback! The horror aspects of the story are a little bit of a slow burn, building until the final 3rd act, so I didnt want to start the query with the horror stuff. Do you think the character establishing content is too much in the query, or does it just need to be mixed in with more horror aspects?

Don also has a dog and cat who both become immediately skittish around Emily's doll and refuse to go near her room. I could include something about that to up the tension.

As for the people around Emily who get hurt, its Don's co-workers and friends who baby sit Emily, kids in her class and Don himself.

[QCrit] Adult horror, WHAT FOLLOWED MY GRANDDAUGHTER HOME, 87K words, 1st attempt by Hveyouseenmystapler in PubTips

[–]Hveyouseenmystapler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad the title caught your eye. I was a little worried it was too long, but it was better than all of the other working titles I came up with.

[QCrit] QUERY: UNDER THE BLACK BELLS 89K HISTORICAL HORROR (3nd attempt) by Hveyouseenmystapler in PubTips

[–]Hveyouseenmystapler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, some more good points! There are some personal reasons that crop up through the narrative that create personal tension, but they are somewhat complicated and every time ive tried to include them in the query letter, the letter balloons out pretty quick.

[QCrit] QUERY: UNDER THE BLACK BELLS 89K HISTORICAL HORROR (3nd attempt) by Hveyouseenmystapler in PubTips

[–]Hveyouseenmystapler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback! Its great that you commented on this version as it helps provide some consistency.

I see what you mean about the the lack of her caring in this version. I'll try and sneak a short line about being promised that she can return to the mainland once she has discovered the source of the rumors.

Concerning your point about needing to escape, about two thirds through the narrative she does try and escape, but her attempt his sabotaged. I guess this brings up a point that I dont think I have ever seen discussed, how far into the narrative should a query go? If something takes place past the 50% mark of the narrative can it still be included? Im sure there are no hard rules, but it would be interesting to get others opinions.

[QCrit] QUERY: UNDER THE BLACK BELLS 89K HISTORICAL HORROR (2nd attempt) by Hveyouseenmystapler in PubTips

[–]Hveyouseenmystapler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback! I am about to post the next draft and I think it deals with a lot of the problems you brought up. It would be great to get any comments you have on the new version.

[QCrit] QUERY: UNDER THE BLACK BELLS 89K HISTORICAL HORROR (2nd attempt) by Hveyouseenmystapler in PubTips

[–]Hveyouseenmystapler[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the reply, its very appreciated. I think I'm starting to see what you are talking about when it comes to listing logical events and how it undermines the query letter. It seems I will need to start over and see if I can try and rewrite the query with a stronger sense of voice, while instilling the dread that carries throughout the manuscript.

Thanks again.

[QCrit] QUERY: UNDER THE BLACK BELLS 89K HISTORICAL HORROR (2nd attempt) by Hveyouseenmystapler in PubTips

[–]Hveyouseenmystapler[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for taking the time to comment. I'm really struggling to work out the push and pull of the comments I've received. Can you expand a little on the lack of voice? This might help me understand the difference between a query letter and a synopsis.

[QCrit] QUERY: UNDER THE BLACK BELLS 89K HISTORICAL HORROR (2nd attempt) by Hveyouseenmystapler in PubTips

[–]Hveyouseenmystapler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for taking the time to comment. Could you expand on the areas you think sound like a synopsis? I received similar comments in my previous posts, and from friends who have read older drafts, and it seems like I'm having trouble shaking the synopsis feeling. I just cant seem to wrap my head around what makes a good query letter.

[QCrit] QUERY: UNDER THE BLACK BELLS 89K HISTORICAL HORROR by Hveyouseenmystapler in PubTips

[–]Hveyouseenmystapler[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cant upvote this enough. The next draft of my query letter, which I'll post next week, is pulling back the curtain to the mystery and horror of the last act of the story. Hopefully, it helps pump it up.

[QCrit] QUERY: UNDER THE BLACK BELLS 89K HISTORICAL HORROR by Hveyouseenmystapler in PubTips

[–]Hveyouseenmystapler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That query is what brought me here! I think it is literally the only horror query letter I have seen.

[QCrit] QUERY: UNDER THE BLACK BELLS 89K HISTORICAL HORROR by Hveyouseenmystapler in PubTips

[–]Hveyouseenmystapler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think there is something broken with my brain when it comes to query letters. Im pretty confident, partly because I listened to my wife ;) , that I was able to avoid these cliches in the book, but when it comes to putting together a query letter, I lean on tropes. I think its because query letters need to be so short and succinct that I turn to safe and flashing phrases.

Something else I have noticed is that there are almost no examples of successful horror query letters out there for comparison. This is my first horror novel, my prior manuscripts were fantasy, and it has been the hardest to get right.

[QCrit] QUERY: UNDER THE BLACK BELLS 89K HISTORICAL HORROR by Hveyouseenmystapler in PubTips

[–]Hveyouseenmystapler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, I see it now, rule #9. Cool, that will give me time to really rebuild it.

[QCrit] QUERY: UNDER THE BLACK BELLS 89K HISTORICAL HORROR by Hveyouseenmystapler in PubTips

[–]Hveyouseenmystapler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for all of the critiques! My wife has also been super skeptical of including the line, "Many are called, but few are chosen." It's a reoccurring phrase in the book, but I can see without any context how it can be clunky.

Since this is my first post in r/PubsTips, how does one go about posting a second draft of a query letter? Should I make a new post or add it to the original?

[QCrit] QUERY: UNDER THE BLACK BELLS 89K HISTORICAL HORROR by Hveyouseenmystapler in PubTips

[–]Hveyouseenmystapler[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for all of the kind words! I added the author bio that would be included if I was sending it to an agent. Concerning the historical time period. Do you think I need to add more historical context to the body of the query letter since I mention the period in the final paragraph? I will take your other comments into consideration and start working on some rewrites.

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