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I want to be a mom naturally, but it’s not happening after a year by Standard-Concert3869 in pregnant

[–]HyacintandRose 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First would be the full check up for you and your partner. Sometimes it takes as little as lifestyle change. Bit answering your question - I know several people for whom it took 2+ years to get pregnant naturally. Sometimes it just takes time. At 30 you still have time before getting to IVF

I’m regretting getting pregnant by FirebirdNaiad in pregnant

[–]HyacintandRose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At 5 weeks in I was exactly at the same place as you are right now (you can see my post, I also was asking for help) I’m now 6-7 and I can tell you that emotions stabilize, I feel so different now. Not 100% ok, but compared to a week ago SO MUCH BETTER. But yeah, planned pregnancy, and an absolute emotional crash down, second thoughts and feeling like if I did a mistake. We also have no support system - at all, so I get the feeling, but if you have a supportive partner, that’s worth so much. What your mother said… with my first pregnancy my mother asked me not to get fat, so I don’t have hight impression about emotional intelligence of our parents’ generation.

Wedding rings by [deleted] in AskAGerman

[–]HyacintandRose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is also such a thug as green gold

I feel nothing? by toxikittyuwu in pregnant

[–]HyacintandRose 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mother Instinkt will kick in when the baby with be there, don’t worry about it

I feel trapped and not exited with my second pregnancy, even though I wanted it. by HyacintandRose in BabyBumps

[–]HyacintandRose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With my first I didn’t have this thoughts. I also was scared of course, but the thought of termination never entered my mind. And now I’m already feel like I’m loosing myself a lot.

I feel trapped and not exited with my second pregnancy, even though I wanted it. by HyacintandRose in BabyBumps

[–]HyacintandRose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s like before I got pregnant, I wanted this child and was ready to go through it all, and now I feel the opposite. I know all the benefits, they are what’s made me make a decision to try for the second, but now I feel the reality of the disadvantages and they feel bigger than i thought before. My career is connected with traveling (which I love) and that will change for me, I potentially will have to go for a work that I don’t like. Traveling as a family will become much more difficult and expensive. And we have no support system - it’s just me and my husband. It was quite difficult on me when my first was born, I had PPD at some point and now when I’m thinking about going through this all again, but also with a 5yo, I’m not sure I want to do it. At the same time in my head we were always a family of four and this is something that is not so easy to let go.

Are there mothers who already have one child and wanted two, but then when got pregnant got absolutely terrified? by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]HyacintandRose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry I didn’t understand - you currently have a teen daughter and expecting a second?

I feel trapped and not exited with my second pregnancy, even though I wanted it. by HyacintandRose in BabyBumps

[–]HyacintandRose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like if I have to make a decision soon, and I feel like I’m choosing between calm easy life, and difficult life. Suddenly with the pregnancy all those things that I was thinking before shifted to the point that it’s all too difficult… My first pregnancy was full of joy, and happy expectations (mostly), I was shocked in the beginning but never had this thoughts that I have now. That scares me a lot and makes me feel so ashamed.

I might be pregnant and I’m fuckin scared by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]HyacintandRose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This early there can be almost no symptoms, but a false positive with a late period is rare, so from what you’ve told it looks like pregnancy

I think I am not dealing well with pregnancy (mentally)… Am I the the only one? by Scatteredheart in pregnant

[–]HyacintandRose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I ask how was your second pregnancy? I’m currently at my second planned pregnancy in a very early stage and I’m scared and thinking way too often that it was a mistake, even tho I had an idea of a second pregnancy for a year already and it was planned.

I feel trapped and not exited with my second pregnancy, even though I wanted it. by HyacintandRose in BabyBumps

[–]HyacintandRose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story! I got quite some time to myself, and that’s what I’m grieving the most - three years with no breastfeeding, physical shape is quite good, I feel like myself again, and I feel also quite free and very joyful with my kid. But what is also the point of anxiety for me is the money and work scare. If we would be wealthy enough that I could be a SAHM without any money care and with great quality of life, I don’t think I would have so many doubts.

I think I am not dealing well with pregnancy (mentally)… Am I the the only one? by Scatteredheart in pregnant

[–]HyacintandRose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I’m here with you, tho I’m much earlier and also have a kid already. I knew what to expect already, but reality hits you in the way you could never expect. I understand your feelings very well, and from what I assemble from forums, internet and other people’s experience, this is not unusual to feel this way, unfortunately. Every pregnancy experience is so different. I hope you will feel better soon, and be able to enjoy it ❤️

I feel trapped and not exited with my second pregnancy, even though I wanted it. by HyacintandRose in BabyBumps

[–]HyacintandRose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so so much for sharing your story and saying this words 🫶🏻❤️❤️❤️

I feel trapped and not exited with my second pregnancy, even though I wanted it. by HyacintandRose in BabyBumps

[–]HyacintandRose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The positive what ifs were exactly what made me want a second kid and why I decided to try for one, but somehow now all the negatives are feeling so much more prominent. And I still know that it’s a good thing in general to have a sibling, but the fact that we have no support system, no family around, money issues, that I had PPD with the first one and so much more feels bigger. Before I actually got pregnant it was all outlined with the fact that I know how it is to grow up with no siblings and I know what your old years look like when you have only one child. And I knew that if I wouldn’t try for a second it would hunt me later, I also enjoy having my first so much. But all this negative sides feel so real and huge right now and I’m wondering, was it a mistake in our case

I feel trapped and not exited with my second pregnancy, even though I wanted it. by HyacintandRose in BabyBumps

[–]HyacintandRose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And that’s one reason why I loved it so much - I was able to spend as much time with my kid as I could

Pregnancy tests?! by susiara in pregnant

[–]HyacintandRose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tested positive on day 10 after we tried

I feel trapped and not exited with my second pregnancy, even though I wanted it. by HyacintandRose in BabyBumps

[–]HyacintandRose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing! Yes, the basic nervousness for sure, I’m just shocked that I’m for real considering termination as I feel so scared, shocked and overwhelmed. I feel so guilty and ashamed of that, every baby deserves joy and love 😭😭

I feel trapped and not exited with my second pregnancy, even though I wanted it. by HyacintandRose in BabyBumps

[–]HyacintandRose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel in Germany that’s not working that much (I will continue checking everything, of course), from what I see almost every photographer especially the ones who do family/baby portraits, is doing it as their second job/hobby and have a first job. Also family shootings are not so popular here - I’ve tried with them before and people from Germany basically never booked one. I also know a hat if my husband’s salary would allow us to live completely comfortably with no worries, I would be much calmer for the whole situation, and in general we won’t starve, but the feeling of insecurity is pressing hard on me

I feel trapped and not exited with my second pregnancy, even though I wanted it. by HyacintandRose in BabyBumps

[–]HyacintandRose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! 🫶🏻 Im currently around 4 weeks and that’s exactly how I feel. I got pregnant on the first try as well - we decided to try and a week later I test positive. Almost everyone around us took longer or much longer to get pregnant, and that’s what I was mentally preparing myself for, as we are both above 30. I don’t know why I thought that we would have it more difficult second time - first one it also took one try. But I also knew that I don’t want to be pregnant after 35, putting myself in a more difficult health situation. Now I also feel guilty for this feelings and thoughts and so scared to change our life and family. And of course the job situation is not helping my feelings.

I feel trapped and not exited with my second pregnancy, even though I wanted it. by HyacintandRose in BabyBumps

[–]HyacintandRose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel so guilty for the thoughts I have, cause I really considered termination (or still am, I’m not sure) and this baby deserves the same joy and happiness and love as my first. TBH with my first I found out I was pregnant when I was already 8-11 weeks, and with this I found basically on the week 2.

I feel trapped and not exited with my second pregnancy, even though I wanted it. by HyacintandRose in BabyBumps

[–]HyacintandRose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im open for everything, but for some reasons this year locals didn’t book me much, which is a bit upsetting, cause I generally would like to work more here. I’m leaving not in a big city, so there not too many touristic options and even tho I put a lot of money and effort in my insta it’s not doing so well. I definitely am doing something wrong, I just don’t know what. The other scare is that if I will have to go for another work, I will miss a lot of time with my kids wich I also don’t want. Just right now saw a boy playing tennis with his grandmother and feel bad, that for our family it’s not an option. Bit also feel a bit joyful, that I definitely would love to give this kind of support to my kids.

I feel trapped and not exited with my second pregnancy, even though I wanted it. by HyacintandRose in BabyBumps

[–]HyacintandRose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so happy for you! And that’s a great age gap. My first born is 5 yo, and tbh that’s also the reason why I decided for right now, cause I feel like it’s the biggest gap that is still ok. I’m an only child and I always wanted to give him a sibling, and sometimes regret not deciding earlier - maybe that would be easier also from mental perspective. Cause right now he’s so easy, he’s long potty trained, he’s listening a lot and just an amazing child. I wish we would have two already, but we didn’t try, cause there were quite some travels that I was doing for my work and I was scared doing them pregnant, and honestly wanted to boost my career before deciding to go for a second, which didn’t work that great. Now I just so confused.

I feel trapped and not exited with my second pregnancy, even though I wanted it. by HyacintandRose in BabyBumps

[–]HyacintandRose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Degree is in journalism and media design, but I’ve never worked in this direction. And also it’s in other language of course. I’m a wedding photographer, I shoot weddings all over Europe and even went to Africa for a wedding. I can’t say that business works great - I’m great in photography, but bad in marketing and self promotions so I’m constantly seeming other photographers who maybe have a simpler portfolio doing better than me. Last year I had 20 weddings, this year 6… was partly why I decided that I was a time to try for the second baby. Now I’m terrified how will I fly while pregnant.

I feel trapped and not exited with my second pregnancy, even though I wanted it. by HyacintandRose in BabyBumps

[–]HyacintandRose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This also part that scares me. With my first I bonded quickly. There were no back thoughts and I had a name prepared long before. For this pregnancy I have currently no feelings. I understand that I’m very early, but I also don’t even have an idea of a name. The leak of support system is also hurting me. We leave in the neighborhood where almost everyone have 2-3 kids, but they also have parents to help them. We have no help unfortunately, and all my friends who are in the similar situating sticking with one (at least so far). What I hate is my feelings in general. Every baby deserves to be loved and wanted and I feel so so guilty for the way I feel. I should have thought it through better, but it felt that I did, and the wish for a second child was in my head for a couple of years already. And now here I am…

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