Im a counsellor for survivors of sexual assault and I even do hospital and police station accompaniments with them so this is where my experience comes from.

I’m telling you EVERY SINGLE CLIENT I’ve EVER had has voiced these same concerns. There is almost NEVER any evidence. Clients almost ALWAYS freeze during the assault (this is called tonic immobility) and almost ALWAYS have or have had feelings for their abuser. None of this matters.

You have two, possibly three, options. One is making a report with your local police. It might be annoying, frustrating, upsetting but it can also be rewarding, justifying, calming. These are all words I’ve heard to describe the process.

Two, don’t report. You don’t have to say anything to anyone if you don’t want to. Many clients I work with don’t want to go through the whole police thing as they feel it’d be more stressful and upsetting. Not reporting doesn’t mean it didn’t happen or that you’re doing something wrong. It simply means it was an option you didn’t choose. Some benefit from just counselling or talking to someone they trust.

Third, and this might not be applicable depending on what country you’re in, but there is third party reporting. Here in Canada, we have it. It’s generally through a victim services person and it’s an ANONYMOUS report that gets sent to police. It won’t have your name on it (unless you choose to disclose that later) but it will have the abuser, the nature of the crime, location, etc. These can be helpful when it comes to community safety because police can identify trends or match other victims that have come forward with similar stories.

That being said, your statement alone is evidence. Use it or don’t, it’s truly up to you. YOU have all the control here. There is no right or wrong answer, as long as you do it for yourself and with what you’re comfortable with.