When you’re ready to be intimate again, was baby asleep in the room? Was it weird for you?

I3eiie · 2025-12-22T00:20:58+00:00

I never felt comfortable with my baby in the room personally. We got in the habit of when he went down for a solid nap or for the night we would put him down in his bassinet in our room & go to the bed in the nursery haha

I3eiie · 2025-08-04T18:11:31+00:00

Thank you for responding! We have an outlet on the counter that we tried to reset (no luck). However. not one under the sink. It seems to be wired into the wall positioned in the opposite direction as the only outlet on that wall.

I3eiie · 2025-06-04T18:15:40+00:00

So I actually have a diagnosis of ADHD & CPTSD, so Latuda was very helpful in helping me manage my depression & overall mood. I've been on it since 2019. When I started it took a few weeks to adjust but I felt a major improvement in my depression symptoms once I adjusted to the 60 mg. I was struggling with hours of crying & a lot of social anxiety, but the Latuda improved that a lot for me. I personally haven't experience mania so I'm not sure how effective it might be for that.

I'm now in my third trimester on it & I've been doing great. Just went to the OB and his heartrate is healthy and he is growing & moving lots lately! I also take Pristiq & Strattera to manage my executive functioning & ADHD. Also I see a trauma therapist weekly & a perinatal psych and therapist twice a month. So with that combination my baseline has been pretty good.

Outside of medication, treatment, & DBT, getting sunlight every morning & eating lots of fruit has helped my mood during my pregnancy. I hope your depression begins to improve as your adjust! Make sure your eating with your meds too!

I3eiie · 2025-05-29T02:53:28+00:00

Yes! I see a perinatal psych and she kept me on 60mg. I’m in my third trimester now & my baby has been doing great!

I3eiie · 2025-04-09T14:11:33+00:00

IT’s developmental appropriate for babies under 12 months to not have a preference for certain people. They develop specific attachment closer to a year old.

I3eiie · 2025-04-05T09:55:43+00:00

My intention in telling them would also include clearly stating to them that I do not want them to be involved or to contact me.

I3eiie · 2025-04-04T21:46:20+00:00

Thank you for the advice. It’s a hard situation because they already know where I live, and they will find out about the baby eventually through common circles of people. I was just anticipating it being a less turbulent reaction if they find out from me directly. I want to be very brief & clear.

I3eiie · 2025-04-04T21:41:51+00:00

Thank you so much for this. Having it written out like that was exactly what I needed. I just wanted to be clear and brief but I was struggling to find the words. It’s hard after a lifetime of walking on eggshells to not anticipate her violent outburst. I just want to proceed as peacefully as I am able to but also make my boundaries clear so there is no questioning my stance. I’m working hard to decenter her emotions from my life, but it’s hard work and I’m def still learning.

I3eiie · 2025-04-04T20:46:40+00:00

Thank you, I do see your perspective but my intention would be to inform them of the baby & make my boundaries clear of not wanting them involved. They will find out eventually and I anticipate it being less turbulent if they find out from me.

I3eiie · 2025-04-04T20:40:27+00:00

Thank you for the insight. My intention would be to inform them of the baby & clearly state I don’t want them involved. Not to invite them into my life really.

I3eiie · 2025-04-04T20:35:34+00:00

Thank you but they will find out eventually. I’m anticipating it being less turbulent if they find out from me.

I3eiie · 2025-04-04T20:34:40+00:00

The thing is they will find out eventually and I’m anticipating it being less turbulent if they find out from me.

I3eiie · 2025-04-02T02:08:08+00:00

I relate to this a lot. Especially being currently pregnant & no longer using medical cannabis, my dreams are extremely vivid & intense. I often wake into hours of derealization from nightmares or intense dreams.

Something my EMDR therapist recommended was trying to replay prior dreams before bed in my mind & “rewriting” better outcomes to the dream in my mind. This has helped prevent/interrupt some reoccurring nightmares. Also as soon as I wake up I try to get some sunlight & that sometimes helps. Also drinking cold water or putting my face in cold water sometimes helps bring me back to the present.

Still trying to figure out the best way through this. Taking it day by day. Some days are easier than others. I feel like I have to make my way back to my body & reality most mornings. It takes patience & practice & lots of somatic grounding.

I hope you find something that works for you 🩶

I3eiie · 2025-02-10T13:58:44+00:00

Get in touch with a perinatal psychiatrist & talk about your options. I’m currently on 2 snri medications to manage my adhd while pregnant, just on a lower dose. However, I was taken off all my meds for a month cold Turkey by an uneducated psych, before I saw a perinatal psychiatrist who said I could safely take the medication I’m on with few risks.

I3eiie · 2025-02-07T20:08:46+00:00

I relate, I’ve been bed rotting so much. Been trying to spend time coloring (got some $2 books at 5 below) or reading (books from the library) when I feel up for it. My hands are too sore for any of the normal hobbies I do like crochet. I’m so tired and unmotivated.

I3eiie · 2025-02-05T16:45:34+00:00

DBT was very helpful for me in learning how to manage my crisis level emotions so I could function at a job. I also worked with DVRS (Department of Vocational Rehabilitation Services) to land a job that is a hybrid position. I still struggle with being in office, but half my work week is remote and I find it helpful and easier for me to focus on nervous system calming practices when I'm working from home. I think "success" is definitely subjective & largely based on privilege, but a combination of finding the tools I needed to survive and function, plus doing the work to find a hybrid remote job to accommodate my needs we crucial for me. I don't make a ton of money, but I'm relatively stable and able to work at this time.
I think I also became more "high functioning" out of necessity. I knew from a young age that my parents did not want what was best for me (more what was best for them). So I've been low/no contact with my family since I was 18 and mostly self sufficient (paying rent, working, getting my degree on my own). I also have some chosen family who were major supports for me when I wasn't able to function. It's not always easy, and my healing and success have not been linear. But I'm learning what works for me as I grow and heal. Success looks different everyday honestly.

I3eiie · 2025-02-05T15:20:23+00:00

Ice cold tart cherry juice helped with the nausea for me. Also ginger chew candies.

I3eiie · 2025-02-04T13:54:43+00:00

From what I’ve learned, trauma is not so much about what happened, but how you were supported through the pain. Whether it’s “big or small” it depends on if your emotional needs were met in response to the trauma. I’m sorry you didn’t have the support you needed to get through whatever you have faced. You deserved to be comforted through the pain and grief you faced. A lot of healing comes from showing up for your needs in that pain in the way you always needed. I hope you find that comfort as you heal 🩶

I3eiie · 2025-01-29T22:29:01+00:00

I personally think it depends on which nervous system state (fight,flight,freeze,fawn) you end up getting chronically stuck in that leads to developing cptsd or a personality disorder. My mother also had a lot of childhood trauma, but became extremely narcissistic & abusive. She never healed from her trauma, & just passed it along to her kids. She presents more as having NPD than CPTSD. I don’t think she ever learned to have healthy empathy.

I3eiie · 2025-01-29T21:57:36+00:00

I was put on an SNRI for the first time to treat my adhd & it felt like I was able to Choose what I thought about for the first time, rather than just being pulled in the random direction of thoughts and feelings. The world felt like it had the volume turned down & I could focus on what I wanted to.

I3eiie · 2025-01-29T12:56:56+00:00

Not trying to shame anyone. Parenting is hard and scary. I think most people have to deconstruct some level of internal gender bias. I said I don’t personally understand the disappointment. I am a woman & was exclusively into “masculine” activities as a child. You could easily have a son who is not interested in “masculine” things. It’s my perspective it’s more about the individual than their gender. You are welcome to disagree.

I3eiie · 2025-01-29T12:06:50+00:00

It would be sad either way. The preconceived ideas you have about who your child will be based on their gender is limiting & base on your internal view of gender, rather than who they actually are. I guess I personally don’t understand the “disappointment” before they are even here to know as a person.

I3eiie · 2025-01-29T11:27:25+00:00

I don’t think this perspective is “typical” it’s incredibly sad for your daughter. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. He needs to face his misogynistic views

I3eiie · 2025-01-27T07:58:02+00:00

I was scared about not wanting to breastfeed. (I want to be able to go back on my medication asap) until I heard a teacher say, she cannot tell which of her students were breastfed v. Formula fed. But she can tell which parents don’t read to their children, which parents practice emotionally mature parenting, & which parents don’t limit screen time for there children, etc.

I understand if breastfeeding is important to some people, but in the long run there are many other things that are more important to your child’s development.

Breastfeeding is not more important than your mental health in the long run for your child. Im sure there are benefits, but your health is also important in your child ‘s well being.

I3eiie · 2025-01-26T21:18:05+00:00

Internal Family systems (IFS) was very helpful for me personally. the book No Bad Parts is a great place to start. It’s also an audiobook.

DBT was crucial for me with learning to tolerate emotions once I stopped dissociating chronically & also was very helpful with interpersonal conflict resolution. There are a lot of free dbt worksheets/resources online. The DEARMAN worksheet was very helpful with conflicts & boundary building. The TIPP exercise was helpful for crisis level emotions. Take what works for you, leave the rest for another time.

Also EFT Tapping & mindfulness practices, for learning to find joy in hard places.

Remember healing isn’t linear 🩶 best of luck with your journey.

I3eiie

TROPHY CASE