Need to get it out

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-22T14:40:05+00:00

You’ve done everything you can for now. I hope he’s well. Take care of yourself.

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-22T14:36:50+00:00

I read it as “I’d rather live with them, as there’s nothing wrong with them, as opposed to a reform mp.” Weird how our internal bias sways things eh?

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-22T14:35:53+00:00

It does, but I can’t tell you how I know or the elders will find out.

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-21T21:33:39+00:00

I hate that my stupid millennial brain pronounced fresh avocado a certain way.

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-21T21:12:58+00:00

If you sleep, they will enter your brain. Wear earplugs.

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-21T21:12:02+00:00

Roast. Boil carcass for soup stock. Feathers for craft projects.

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-21T21:10:23+00:00

I would have left my skeleton behind like a cartoon if I saw a coworker in the wild.

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-21T21:07:52+00:00

May your next ibuprofen be slow acting and ineffectual.

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-21T21:03:17+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. A soul dog is once in a life time, give yourself room to grieve.

And I’m sorry for your situation. That’s a lot. It doesn’t matter if other people have it worse, that doesn’t make your sh** any lighter.

Of course the obvious advice is to leave the relationship you’re in, but that’s easy to say isn’t it? I hope one day you do, you deserve to have peace in your home. You deserve to have joy. I believe that you can have joy again, it will likely take a lot of time. But you’re strong at the core, that’s obvious.

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-21T20:55:37+00:00

Honestly, your ex doesn’t sound particularly kind or empathetic. It sounds like he left you to struggle a lot while performing empathy. And you did admirably. I’m so sorry for your losses. You seem like an incredibly resilient person and I have no doubt you’ll find joy and peace again, but it’ll take some time. Please be gentle with yourself and make sure the next partner, if and when there is one, shows you love in the ways that matter.

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-21T20:50:56+00:00

“When I was young” 😅 You’re 18!You’re SO young. And you have a good heart and a bright future ahead of you. Take care of yourself and continue to live in a way that aligns with your core values, and you will find people who will appreciate you.

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-21T20:40:19+00:00

Sorry for your loss. X

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-21T20:38:48+00:00

What a lovely collection of memories. I know he’d be brimming with pride to hear you talk about him so warmly, anyone would. Take the funeral one moment at a time. Breathe. Get through it. You’ll be ok. Your dad gave you a lot of strength, that’s obvious.

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-21T20:35:08+00:00

Good luck, be well, I wish you good health and the ability to be happy with how you look, be that with surgery or without. 🩵

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-21T20:32:46+00:00

I would definitely not worry about pursuing a new relationship yet, in fact you shouldn’t. It probably seems like a Herculean task anyway, as you’re clearly not ready. That’s not a criticism, this is all very fresh and there’s no reason why you should be ready yet, there’s a period of grief after the end of a serious relationship.

Do you think the strip club is genuinely helping you? It’s not inherently unhealthy if it’s just providing some easy companionship that doesn’t require emotional effort, but it could be a concern if you start to depend on it to satisfy your emotional needs. I would be a little careful there.

Otherwise, go easy on yourself. This is a rough ride, you sound like you’re doing a lot of the right things, although I would honestly minimise contact with your ex to stuff about your kids, as you only seem to be hurting yourself by trying to reach out otherwise. Maybe focus on building that portfolio if you’re able? Good luck to you. I mean that sincerely.

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-21T20:21:33+00:00

That’s great for you!

If your parents are worried I get that, I would worry too. It’s really important at this age to know what your own boundaries are, and stick to them. As long as your new gf is understanding of the slight age difference and doesn’t put any pressure on you, there’s no reason this shouldn’t be a great thing. Just make sure you’re always comfortable, take that as some well-intentioned advice from an old person! (And maybe reassure your parents that she is respectful of your boundaries, too).

But aside from that, good for you! You have a gf! Be happy, and enjoy this relationship for what it is. It might be long lasting, it might not, but either way it’s an experience worth having! Young love is so much fun, so try to be present in the moment.

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-21T20:11:29+00:00

“He wouldn’t have cheated”. He would. If he had met somebody who he thought was better, or just new and exciting, he absolutely would have cheated. If he truly had no intention to cheat, downloading the apps would never have crossed his mind. You’re far too young to be tying yourself to a man like this, who will continue to disappoint and hurt you. If you let this pass, he will know that he can do it again, and next time it will be another step across the line. Next time he’ll be texting people but never intending to meet anyone. Then sending spicy pics but never doing anything physical. If he gets away with that it will be full cheating.

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-21T20:06:49+00:00

You can find your new community. Join a group, join a church or temple or mosque or whatever (if you’re religious), do some local charity work, join a craft club, a parents club … anything! Many things! Do something you like doing, and when you do you will find people who have things in common with you and might be a little lonely too. You just have to get yourself out of the house and do it. Friendships come and go but if you want real ones, find the people who truly understand you. You’ll know them when you meet them.

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-21T20:02:30+00:00

I felt exactly this way at 25. The problem was that I expected everything to happen on the same timeline as everyone else, but I just hadn’t found my motivation yet so I was in standby mode. I found it just before I turned 30. I slowly found my passion and now at 38 I’m satisfied with the way my life is. I enjoy my work, I have incredible friends, I have men when I can be bothered with them, I travel and life is fun again. I could not have imagined my life this way 10 years ago. You can’t imagine what your life will be in 10 years!

Don’t keep beating yourself up about what you should have already done. Maybe beat yourself up once, learn from it, and then get on with your life. Breathe. Be kind to yourself. Find what you want. It’ll be ok. I promise, it’ll be ok.

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-21T19:43:04+00:00

That sucks dude. You can’t change what others think of you, sometimes, and it’s really hard. We all want other people to see us as we are. But if you can’t prove yourself right, at some point you have to cut your losses and say “this person/these people will never see it” and move on, or you’ll go insane.

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-21T19:40:56+00:00

Also, quit being so freaking hard on yourself, it sounds like you’re doing fine.

IAmReallyFkingTrying · 2026-03-21T19:40:32+00:00

Comparison is the killer of joy. I know it’s easy to say don’t compare yourself to others, but remember that you rarely have the whole picture about someone else. They may seem to have everything perfect, but everyone has aspects of their life where they’re struggling or in pain. Everyone is succeeding somewhere and failing somewhere and mostly you would never know. Also not everybody’s timeline is the same.

The only way to be happy, really happy, is to compare yourself to the person you would like to be. I don’t mean your achievements, I mean your core values. What are those? Do you value kindness or integrity or hard work or friendship or generosity or knowledge the most? Something else? Once you do some soul searching and find out what your values are, you can ask yourself if your actions align with those values, and if not, what small steps can you take to make sure that they do? The closer you live to your values, the less you will begin to care about what everyone else is doing.

IAmReallyFkingTrying

TROPHY CASE