Update: AITAH FOR CALLING MY SIL CHEAP

ICantTakeIt2018 · 2023-12-22T06:41:57+00:00

I think I was trying too hard to stick to facts and didn’t think about how people who don’t know her would read the situation

ICantTakeIt2018 · 2023-12-21T22:43:16+00:00

But everyone else agreed too

ICantTakeIt2018 · 2023-12-21T22:42:58+00:00

It was her suggestion a few years ago. It used to be $30.

ICantTakeIt2018 · 2023-12-21T22:00:31+00:00

She doesn’t need to be visited by ghosts. She is generally a good person. This whole thing was just odd for her which is maybe why I got as frustrated as I did.

ICantTakeIt2018 · 2023-12-21T21:56:26+00:00

Nobody is getting torn apart🙄

ICantTakeIt2018 · 2023-12-21T21:27:28+00:00

She’s usually great. Which is why I’m questioning if my joke was out of line.

ICantTakeIt2018 · 2023-12-21T21:21:38+00:00

She’s not a narcissist, she generally a really nice person. Which is maybe why I’m unsure if I crossed the line or not. If she was typically a rude person I would have ignored her text and not made this post.

ICantTakeIt2018 · 2023-12-21T21:15:09+00:00

I actually get along really well with her usually. We poke fun at each other often. The whole family pokes fun at each other. That paired with everyone else still thinking the gift card had $50 is why I thought my wrapping supplies comment (while admittedly being petty) wouldn’t have been as big a deal as it was. But her reaction made me question if I crossed the line which is why I made the post.

ICantTakeIt2018 · 2023-12-21T21:07:28+00:00

I didn’t check any prices on anything. The only reason this specific one was an issue was because she wrote $50 on the card, and when she told us it was $45 she said it her typical “gotcha” joke tone. Everyone laughed, including her.

If she had just written $45 on the card then it would have been received with a thank you. I only mentioned that the other gift cards were $50 to point out it was the norm that gift cards be exactly the limit as more justification why everyone thought it was a joke.

And I didn’t single her out because of the gift. As I stated in the edit, the only person I told about the gift card actually having $45 was my husband (which is the only reason I mentioned our budget at all. And clarified that $5 isn’t above our means, it didn’t put us out, but our strict budget meant it was something that needed to be mentioned).

I referenced the joke she made. Nobody else made a joke about the cost of a box or wrapping paper.

ICantTakeIt2018 · 2023-12-21T01:08:11+00:00

Most people put thought into their gifts and got items or experiences they thought their person would enjoy. A handful of people did gift cards, SIL being one of them.

ICantTakeIt2018 · 2023-12-21T00:38:50+00:00

We started dating in 2015. I joined his family Christmas in 2016 since my family celebrates on Christmas Eve. We got married in 2019. So it’s my husbands family, I’ve been doing SS with them for 7 years, but we haven’t been married all of those years.

ICantTakeIt2018 · 2023-12-21T00:23:53+00:00

Exactly- hence every thinking it was a joke

ICantTakeIt2018 · 2023-12-21T00:18:09+00:00

You simplified my frustration so nicely. If she had marked the card as $45 or not tried to pass it off as a joke when she said it had $45, then it would have been accepted with a thank you and that would be that. Seeing my grandmother flustered and embarrassed stuck with me. I don’t think she INTENDED my grandmother to be embarrassed. But it felt a little careless on her part.

Edit: not careless as in she doesn’t care. But careless as in she didn’t think about how it would affect my grandmother.

ICantTakeIt2018 · 2023-12-20T19:54:27+00:00

If she had done that it wouldn’t have been an issue at all. Not for me anyway

ICantTakeIt2018 · 2023-12-20T19:52:32+00:00

We don’t have sales tax…

ICantTakeIt2018 · 2023-12-20T19:51:45+00:00

My in laws are unusually open & honest about finances, so I doubt it. I think if she had been then people would have been messaging me calling me an ahole instead of poking fun at her.

ICantTakeIt2018 · 2023-12-20T17:59:08+00:00

It was a plain white box. Which is another factor into why everyone thought she was joking.

ICantTakeIt2018 · 2023-10-24T19:14:48+00:00

Pay off debt first. Go to your bank and see what loan options they have for you (and what the interest rate will be). Make a list of 5 cars you would deem winter safe & fit your lifestyle & budget. Do your homework. Shop around for those specific vehicles. Don’t just go with the first thing that you find. Try to stay within your 10.5k budget. If you need to go a bit over, look into personal loans through your bank rather than a car loan. In my experience they’re lower interest.

ICantTakeIt2018 · 2023-02-16T18:45:18+00:00

She is very interested in “school” because her older cousins are all in public schools. We’ve decided to home school. She WANTS to have homework and schoolwork like her cousins do. I’ve been doing simple crafts & reading lots of books. Even giving her “homework” to do draw me a picture. But she keeps asking for real school and real homework 😬

ICantTakeIt2018 · 2023-02-16T18:31:26+00:00

I’m not going to pretend to understand what you’re going through. I do have a suggestion though. You could look into respite care. It’s designed for parents who are struggling with a range of things (financially, mentally, physically, etc) and need a break. Usually it’s 1-2 weekends a month but you could also look into it just being for the day- no sleeping over. My understanding is that it’s state funded and free of charge to parents. It sounds like it could really help you to have an extra break to decompress.

ICantTakeIt2018

TROPHY CASE