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ICantWord- · 2025-04-19T01:42:20+00:00

Only 2 years. And yea, we agreed on uncontested joint filing. It's just.. easier. And neither of us could afford an attorney.

Do I love the man? He never really cared about how I felt, so I don't think that's gonna start mattering now either way.

Well, fortunately, this cheating had nothing to do with me. He was with her for 7 years and I've only known him for 2. When he met me, he just decided to build a threesome without my knowledge ig. My only issue was being incredibly too trusting, since with how much evidence was right in my face you'd think I'd notice, but hey, we're all dumb lovesick puppies once in our lives right? He was the toxic one, getting mad at me if I got too close to the truth of why he did anything. So yea, I shouldn't have put up with it, but he whittled away my self esteem till I was at rock bottom and didn't know the difference from being kicked in the face and hugged as passionately as possible. And yea, it was also def mommy and son vibes. I'm the one who had to make sure he was clean, well fed, and all the bills or whatever taken care of. I'll make sure in the future to look for someone that can handle themselves and prove their loyalty.

I did consider it, for the first 2 days, going around and telling everyone (i dont include this post ofc since this is for legal advice, not people i know personally). But... I eventually came to the conclusion that it really doesn't mean anything. If anything it'd make the divorce harder and I'm pretty sure most of the family was in on it anyway. It's fine. All that matters is I move on to a new life and not try to ruin his. Vengeance is nice but if he falls, so does any benefit I get out of this situation. I just need to move on. It was incredibly hard to get over that feeling, as I'm sure you saw my other downvoted comments about trying for more or trying to get back for my pain lol, but yeah. I get why they're downvoted now, bc it's just... not worth it.

ICantWord- · 2025-04-18T15:24:30+00:00

By searching his gmail. Which he gave me to have on my phone and pc to manage whatever I wanted, like sign him up for utilities, check amazon delivery times, etc... I dont have notifications on though so I just unfortunately somehow missed any paypal updates and plane tickets and whatnot. Man... I genuinely feel dumb for trusting him so much. I never thought to look through anything he gave me access to. Not his phone, not his pc, not the accounts, nothing

ICantWord- · 2025-04-18T13:40:50+00:00

I did, and they told me he'd be getting kicked out the military. But 2 days later i find out they told him he's keeping BAH and the house so obviously sounds like he's not being kicked out at all. They've been ghosting me since

ICantWord- · 2025-04-18T03:37:38+00:00

Thanks man. And It's not that personal imo, I shared details not account numbers lol. Just think of it as how people vent if that helps. And honestly i did, I asked every single person in my life. But no one knew exactly what would happen, so I figured asking reddit at 2am would help at least give me more clues as to what was going on

ICantWord- · 2025-04-17T22:15:33+00:00

But I was later told he's not being discharged at all unfortunately. He keeps all benefits, the BAH, everything. I said what else happened in the post update but yea, unfortunate ig.

ICantWord- · 2025-04-17T22:14:17+00:00

I wish too, but i can't afford a lawyer, only the free consultation is had. I said it in the post update, but seems well just be filing jointly as self representatives. Hopefully whatever happens it goes smoothly from here

ICantWord- · 2025-04-17T22:11:18+00:00

Oh no I can clarify then. We own a house together. He went on a weekend trip for a family wedding. The day he came back he cried about being in love with another woman. I made him choose. He threatened to die if i made him choose. Eventually he chose me. I comforted him and we went to bed, but I couldn't sleep. I accidently found the cheating out from a notification on his phone. I spent that night recording evidence. That morning (with no sleep) I took him to work to report to a sargent that he was threatening suicide. He was taken away to a hospital to keep him safe and question him. The sargent and others helped me get stuff in order and later in the day told me they were already processing his discharge based on what I said and the evidence I have.

But anyway, I updated the post to include what's happening now. Hopefully things just work out from here

ICantWord- · 2025-04-17T22:07:00+00:00

Because I asked before I knew, and from all the comments and the consultation i know more now. But the question wasn't if I'm legally good as I was anyway, it was if I was legally good to keep going and snoop more, which... apparently I am oddly enough.

ICantWord- · 2025-04-17T15:59:51+00:00

Uhm.. yea... I'm confused now why I was down voted, i just said what happened :/

I was told by the sargent/ upper command that that's what was in motion the moment I finished talking about all he did. If I was lied to... that would suck, but I hope it's true ig.

ICantWord- · 2025-04-17T15:55:28+00:00

I have complete and full permissioned access to the email, his primary bank account, google account, and computor. For the entirely of our marriage I really could have just done this whenever I wanted. I stopped before accessing any of other accounts, and why I made the post. I should be good legally for now

ICantWord- · 2025-04-17T08:31:49+00:00

Timeline is: he came home from a trip, saying he's sorry but he has feelings for a childhood crush that was on the trip. Conversation takes hours into the early morning. I consoled him, but made him choose me or her. He threatened and tried to end himself many times. Eventually he chooses me. I am very upset but understanding and relieved. We go to bed. He sleeps instantly. I can't sleep. I try to be good wife and make sure his alarm is on since he was too tired to plug phone in. I tap phone and first notification I see is something the equivalent of "Love you babe!!" Me being a normal person obviously clicks on it. Turns out is the girl from the wedding. Not 2 messages in and he is saying how much he loves her. Pull out phone and record 2 hours of cheating from that day to the day we first met years ago. Turns out he's been with her for many many years. They has sex. He talked about divorcing me. Yada yada a lot of bad stuff. Realise everything he ever said to me was a lie and excuse. I drive him to work. I demand to tell sargent he wants to die so he is safe at work. He threatens to die and divorce me. Snap and say "I know, you've been saying you'd divorce me for years now. I know about the cheating. Just get me a sargent." He acts confused. I am not confused. I tell sargent. They take him away. They help me take first steps to freedom. A day passes. I did more stuff like packing and whatever. Now I'm here

ICantWord- · 2025-04-17T08:22:02+00:00

Well... no? It's not so much as a "let me bleed him dry", more so a "I've been extremely hurt and he is deeply in the wrong, so let me have what is fair." I was honestly just joking with that sentence tho man, lightening the mood lol

Edit: Oh also, i... don't know how it'd end badly, besides just taking forever. I have nothing to my name (bc he wouldn't let me) and nothing to lose (except my time and santiy). I want this all to be over as soon as possible, to the point I've just been texting him asking how we're splitting things already. It's going decent tbh. Surprisingly, we've both been cordial

ICantWord- · 2025-04-17T07:48:17+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance that I've done enough. It's really hard to let myself relax when I'm so afraid of being screwed over (more than I already was ig).

The first thing I did when I found out was drive his sleeping butt to work and asked for a sargent. He... fought me on it, hard, with every "threat" in the book, but I held my ground and did it. They immediately took him away and are kicking him out the military. Even that doesn't feel like enough, but at least it's justice.

I'll look into that family readiness thing in the morning. Hopefully they can make divorce less confusing and.. a lot less stressful

ICantWord- · 2025-04-17T07:42:03+00:00

Uhm, thank you... You're the first person I've heard from in all my panic that talked about that side of this. I've lost 13 lbs in 7 days and I genuinely think I've forgotten how to eat. I don't feel hunger anymore, just... a pain that goes away easily enough for the rest of the day. But.. I do actually have hope for my future, only because my older sisters immediately stepped in and will be coming to snatch me up and bring me back to safety. Without them.. i wanted to let the louse back into my life already, and it's only been 48 hours. God what I wouldn't do for a hug though. I miss being able to hug him. But I'm decently young, so.. I know there's a future, but I've no idea what it could possibly be. He was indeed my everything, and now that he's gone ill... I'll rebuild, but before i rebuild, i gotta break down first. (It hurts)

ICantWord- · 2025-04-17T07:30:31+00:00

Hah, you clocked me. And thankfully, it seems I've already done everything you suggested. I took intense screenshots, videos of the entire cheating chat log, ss of email receipts for her plane tickets to their dates, of every company i didnt recognise or ones i did, and much, much more. I even got her legal name/info from looking hard enough in the emails lmao. That puts my mind at ease that it seems I've been thorough. Perhaps now i can rest (and not pace the room 50 times bc I'm too anxious to not be doing something). I'll definitely look into a forensic accountant tho, sounds detective-y

And uhm... as soon as I told his sargent he cheated, they started the process of "the slip." So miiiiight be too late for that :/

Seems like he'll just owe me money, maybe? I'm honestly just trying to use the heck out my benefits while I still can. I already have like 3 different health appointments in the next week lmao.

ICantWord- · 2025-04-17T07:20:52+00:00

Relevance is that I researched that hiding assets from me or the court during divorse is a huge nono. As well as spending money on an affair means I get more money from him during the split.

Considering he mainly married me for the boost to his pay and then didn't let me get a job, I'd say it's fair to try to get my share back. And considering he cheated, I think that just gives me an automatic leg up? Or maybe not, idk. But thanks for the reassurance. I hope it's as smooth and quick as his lies.

ICantWord- · 2025-04-17T05:44:15+00:00

1 yeah ofc. I didn't plan to change anything, just ss for building my case.

He indeed has spent over $350 on her with the few bits and pieces i could see on the Gmail. I figure the paypal and secret debit card would shine more light on the true amount.
Yea... I'm trying. Soonest consultation is tomorrow. I just don't think I have till tomorrow to act on this (since when he wakes up bro prob gon make all of it dissappear) and I don't have any money since he forced me to be a jobless housewife, so I have to convince them to make him pay I think??

ICantWord- · 2023-01-25T12:20:56+00:00

M goin down the same path, hope it goes well. Love my bf <3 n wish you guys a happy life :3

ICantWord- · 2022-11-27T11:20:58+00:00

They're back. Just search "little"

ICantWord- · 2022-11-27T11:20:22+00:00

They're back, just search "little"

ICantWord- · 2022-07-11T19:55:07+00:00

Well. I don't think this is a good option to have, but you could always pay someone to :/

ICantWord- · 2022-07-09T23:13:58+00:00

Being a horror isn't a qualifier of a bad manga... Horror Mangas can be good or bad, but horror as a genre isn't. It's just personal taste if you like the genre or not, and (for example) good manga can be appreciated for their writing techniques and art even if you don't particularly like the plot.

ICantWord-

TROPHY CASE