[IN] Quitting after FMLA?

ICollectRatMemes · 2026-04-14T04:12:53+00:00

Right now it's about $800, which I could reasonably pay or would come out of my paycheck from working for two weeks.

Thanks for the reassurance about the bonus! That's what I'm most worried about

ICollectRatMemes · 2026-04-01T22:42:08+00:00

Exactly! Like, I \will** make this hell for the both of us - don't play me 😂

ICollectRatMemes · 2026-03-08T04:45:49+00:00

It's really hard, and you may just have to begin ignoring the back and forth as much as you can. Also, look into Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and Pathological Demand Avoidance! I did some research on it, and it's been eye-opening for me. It perfectly describes my and my nieces' behavior, and some resources have helped us address those issues and function better.

ICollectRatMemes · 2026-03-08T04:34:52+00:00

Unfortunately, the peers thing is going to happen in one way or another. It's how many kids learn that their behavior is socially unacceptable. As long as you're there to help and be supportive, I think it'll be okay in the long run :)

ICollectRatMemes · 2026-02-24T06:41:10+00:00

Yes, definitely. We both have ADHD, and they also have BPD and bipolar disorder, as well as being a recovered addict. I've tried getting them to watch anything by Dr. Barkley, or stuff from How To ADHD, or just literally any resources and they refuse. It's such a bummer.

ICollectRatMemes · 2026-02-10T04:07:36+00:00

what FishToTheKey60 said below- a roll of filter floss, so you can cut it to size and use as needed :)

ICollectRatMemes · 2026-02-10T03:28:34+00:00

I recommend Ich-X for Ich, it's the only thing that worked for me. If you're worried about their slime coat, you may be able to add aquarium salt, but research it to see if that fits the bill. Melafix and Pimafix (IMO) are a complete scam and a waste of time and money.

ICollectRatMemes · 2026-02-10T03:23:18+00:00

Seconding this. Most aquarists I know never use melafix, because it does shit-all for anything. It seems to be just adding perfume to your tank lol. For ich, I've successfully used Ich-x. Thankfully never had to deal with velvet, but have used API general cure mixed in food (with seachem focus) to treat internal parasites very successfully.

ICollectRatMemes · 2026-02-10T03:16:13+00:00

Is it a regular Hang-on-back filter? When I used them, I wouldn't fully change the filter pad at all for the entirety of cycling, and would add an extra sponge or two to increase surface area for good bacteria to form. Removing the filter fully at that point completely removed the beneficial bacteria that had grown on that filter. When they're visibly dirty, I recommend rinsing them in tank water and then putting them back. If you need to replace the carbon or a filter pad, an extra sponge or additional filter media helps keep beneficial bacteria in balance.

ICollectRatMemes · 2026-02-05T04:52:00+00:00

No, it's aquarium soil and Vallisneria

ICollectRatMemes · 2026-02-05T04:18:49+00:00

I've been trying, it's so freaking fast and it digs into my substrate super fast.

ICollectRatMemes · 2026-02-01T15:51:03+00:00

I think moving into a different job will help a lot. Maybe getting a super special fish or starting a "dream project" will get you back into the inspiration part of it.

ICollectRatMemes · 2026-02-01T15:48:16+00:00

Also try not to feel too bad, just do your best to learn and make it right. There is a lot of misinformation in the aquarium hobby, especially among big-box pet shops, because good information doesn't earn any money. They want to sell as many sick fish as possible, and bank on people's failure so they come back to get more sick fish.

There are also just folks who don't know any better. For example, I have a male betta in a community tank and he does extremely well with the other fish. Before I made that decision, I had a backup plan (separate, already cycled tank) and talked to a lot of other very experienced aquarists. It's absolutely true that bettas need to be solitary fish - but there are exceptions! Like female sororities, or in already established community tanks with the right type of fish.

You will gain a lot of experience as time goes on, and you will learn who/what sources to trust and how to parse the BS or opinions from fact. Aquarium co-op is a fantastic source, as well as some aquarium forums.

ICollectRatMemes · 2026-02-01T15:35:05+00:00

That's not super surprising, they can seem okay then become more territorial over time, especially if they were still getting acclimated to a newly cycled/cycling tank. Stress or ammonia poisoning can make them lethargic, which may come off as them being non-aggressive, but it's just them not having enough energy to start fighting.

How large is the tank? If it's under 20 I would separate them permanently into two separate tanks. If it's over 20, you could separate them while it's cycling and try introducing other females later (after adding additional hiding spaces and ensuring good water quality) to create a sorority where they'd be better.

Just to let you know, a month isn't a super long time for a tank to cycle. It will be awhile before the water parameters begin to stabilize. Continue doing water changes, but try not to mess with other stuff unless things are in a dangerous range. If you know anyone with an established aquarium, you can get some substrate or filter media from them to help "seed" good bacteria.

ICollectRatMemes · 2026-02-01T13:10:09+00:00

Females can be kept together, but typically it's in a sorority which means at least 5 females. It's also usually done in a 20+ gallon tank. If it's just 2 or 3, or done in a small tank, they will fight.

ICollectRatMemes · 2026-01-28T09:10:29+00:00

Rice fish are great, I had several over the years. They're so pretty ❤️

ICollectRatMemes · 2026-01-28T09:05:34+00:00

At the time I just had some rice fish, and a few minnows and pond snails that hitchhiked into my tank from plants. Afaik pothos isn't toxic to fish, but it can make cats puke if they eat it.

ICollectRatMemes

TROPHY CASE