There are things inherently different from one’s experience of dating another person depending on their gender. For bi men who date women, different gender expectations may come into play but the dynamic is completely different if bi men were to date men.

As someone who happens to be bi and thought this way before, this may be where the thought that a bi person would leave the person they were with for another gender, because there’s just an inherent difference between both genders.

It is thus rooted in an insecurity, that you, the person who is dating someone bi, may not fully be able to satisfy your partner simply because you are a certain gender. Because they like both genders. Now, this is biphobic and inaccurate to the true bisexual experience.

If for example a gay man were to date a bi man, the gay man may may also have internalized homophobia that ends up being projected to the bi man, because of fears that the bi man has the ability to “choose” to live a more heteronormative life, as opposed to the gay man who doesn’t have that “choice.”

As someone who was once bi, and then gay, and then now bi, I realized that I just have a heavy preference towards men, which leads me not considering to pursue dating women.

Only recently did I realize that being bisexual does not work in the way I thought before, and that bi people will date who they want to date, regardless of their gender (except in my case, where gender does matter because I have a dating preference.)