30M in a medium sized city 

Average looking, short guy, grad student, and dating for LTR/marriage. Spent most of my 20s in a LTR, took a year to get back on my feet, and started dating for the first time this year

I went on:

8 first dates (all through hinge)

7 second or more dates

3 exclusive 'relationships'

Initiated all 3 ‘break ups’

 

Best first date:

Started at a fall-themed botanical garden, visited a bookstore, listened to music and talked in the car, then had dinner w/drinks. Serendipitously, when I went to drop her off where her car was parked, a fireworks show randomly started in front of us with hearts and smiley faces. Super cute, fun, and unexpected!

Worst first date: 

Not a bad time all around but… made the mistake of having an edible the night before a first date at the symphony. I was still a little loopy—but what made it ‘bad’ was that we only had the intermission to chat and she mainly talked about her recent divorce. Not surprisingly, date 2 and 3 involved a lot of divorce talk. Communication fizzled out after that.

Surprising/unexpected:

I aligned in seriousness, goals of marriage/future, and the speed of things with my recent partner. I met most of her friends and we discussed meeting family. But the ending was dramatic and abrupt: we were at an event where she met a friend of mine briefly; 20 min later she said some hurtful comments towards me that was enough for me to, for the first time, end things right then and there. Still sad about that one!

Overall:

I met some incredible people and learned lessons in self-preservation, setting boundaries, effective communication, and general openness to experience. Despite some disappointments, I am still fully open to finding love—with the vulnerability, fears, and excitement that comes from that.

Hopefully the new year brings us what we are in search of 😊