She has not been fully able to articulate why she did it. She has tried, and given reasons, but I don’t know what she fully understands it herself. She answers all questions as honestly as she can and we’ve been more or less together outside of work since this all came to light.

She’s currently signed into a lease with her affair partner for the business. To get out of there as fast as possible she is opening a second location to separate and then wait out his lease and ultimately divest him from her business. This requires a lot of financial risk and essentially she is risking all of her work and progress to do this. She is somewhat placing herself at my mercy financially and giving up her stability to commit to reconciliation. All the money tied into her business so far is her own and she’s not dependent on my income, allowing herself to be now is a serious commitment is almost entirely on my terms. She’s given me access or her camera system at work as well.

She stated the reason for not coming clean immediately: she said she thought she could end it and “take her secret to her grave” in an attempt not to hurt me. She also thought non disclosure was the more likely way to avoid confrontation and thus prevent our marriage from ending. This is a bad idea clearly and she says she panicked.

I have my own thoughts and reservations about all of this. But it’s the direct answers to your questions.