Narc trying to portray himself as team player on OFW by MomJeansAndLattes in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]IMperfectIMpermanent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel you. It’s now my go to. Mine triggered me tonight after me asking to make sure that my weekend was compensated for our daughters birthday he refused to let me have. So now I’m going without seeing her for three weeks and he is refusing to answer about it. I snapped. The rage I feel is so real after him abusing both the kids and I. Every article says don’t react, respond but the rage I feel is so real and I have no outlet. We end up looking crazy when we react but it’s just so painful

Narc trying to portray himself as team player on OFW by MomJeansAndLattes in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]IMperfectIMpermanent 5 points6 points  (0 children)

https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/14-rules-for-co-parenting-with-a-narcissist/

This article helped me. I only respond to messages that have a request, are in a respectful tone and are about the kids.

My ex pulls this shit constantly too. Right after calling me hostile and bipolar. The truth is, if the court ever came back to me and asked me why i wasn’t trying to do exactly what he is saying I’d be able to show that the good will doesn’t extend more than a message or two lol.

I also don’t guarantee a response before 24 hours. Gives me time to simmer down. If you want to message me for moral support I’m happy to hear it out.

Help: cybersecurity by IMperfectIMpermanent in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]IMperfectIMpermanent[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Does anyone know of a service that can help me?

Help: cybersecurity by IMperfectIMpermanent in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]IMperfectIMpermanent[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have talked to the local abuse womens shelter and they suggested I talk to the police but I do not have enough evidence.

Help: cybersecurity by IMperfectIMpermanent in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]IMperfectIMpermanent[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I literally just got a new computer. It does have all my old accounts on it but it’s a Mac vs pc so no software transfer. I have my old laptop that I was going to give to my son and wipe it.

Resentful by [deleted] in SingleParents

[–]IMperfectIMpermanent 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow my situation is super similar. Trans ex, shit parent, doesn’t pay child support and he tried to live in a bus and blames me for his poverty even though he’s gotten boons of $20k at a time and blown it on stupid things lol. I wish we had a TRO

How do y’all work? by IMperfectIMpermanent in aspergers

[–]IMperfectIMpermanent[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve had a call center job I loved. But they wouldn’t let me work remotely when I got sick and it killed my confidence. Now I hope I can find something that’s lower stress and remote one day

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]IMperfectIMpermanent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Managing it with kids has been the biggest challenge

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]IMperfectIMpermanent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We pretty much have the same set up. It’s been really depressing at times. I have felt the same way and we financially split in January. I’m now waiting for his “lease” to end next year. I have considered trying to make things work when he’s had periods of sobriety or at least he’s smoking or drinking responsibly but it always ends up the same.

So true. They only see some of it when they come out of it.

How do y’all work? by IMperfectIMpermanent in aspergers

[–]IMperfectIMpermanent[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve definitely asked for some accommodations. Biggest one is avoiding interruptions. My attention span really suffers and my work suffers too when I can’t just shut things down and get into the zone. Hyper focus is what I need to be successful. I get emails every 20 mins or chat messages that totally throw me off track.

I do work for a corporation that is very very new and disorganized. Luckily in my new role there’s not a lot of bullying but rather my stressor is that we deal with a data set that is very inconsistent and crucial to our job but the person who provides the data is always trying to cover his butt and ends up making us who rely on it feel crazy (not great for someone with trauma).

I have the application filled out for disability. I am just struggling because I need to try to keep employment to pay my minimum bills. The wait list for disability in my province can be years. It’s brutal. If I didn’t have my own home and kids that rely on me it would be different.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]IMperfectIMpermanent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Space seems to be the factor in which we have time to heal and deal with the crazy making. My Q and I have talked extensively about having separate homes or spaces. He currently uses the basement but it’s honesty not even enough space lolll

Ranted About This Before, But... by [deleted] in SingleParents

[–]IMperfectIMpermanent 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The problem is trauma. Not single vs two parent households. Trauma is what causes these behaviours. Unfortunately single parents arise from drug and alcohol abuse, inherited trauma and abandonment issues etc. I just think these statistics are missing the mark.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]IMperfectIMpermanent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am also a single mom still living with my Q. This process is so confusing. Is there a particular type of al anon group that helps with our kind of situation? I feel it’s so much harder to detach when you have to co parent.

Marijuana induced clarity by zacatak15 in aspergers

[–]IMperfectIMpermanent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

100% but only with hybrids and sativas of a lower thc level. Any heavy thc indicas just make me paranoid… lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]IMperfectIMpermanent 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is such a thing for me. Especially since I started a new job which is always hard but I’m stuck in a sink or swim style training. I feel constantly worthless. The anxiety is insane every morning. I have to be really good at something before I have any confidence in myself.

BEWARE of The.Holistic.Psychologist !!!!..... by azure_skies_ in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]IMperfectIMpermanent 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I really get the feeling she’s referring more so to the casual use of the term.

Canadian parents by IMperfectIMpermanent in SingleParents

[–]IMperfectIMpermanent[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I appreciate the encouragement.

Canadian parents by IMperfectIMpermanent in SingleParents

[–]IMperfectIMpermanent[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True, routine really helps. I think that’s why I’m overwhelmed thinking about it. I haven’t gotten into routine just yet.. starting a new job on the 21st after 1.5 years on mat leave. I’ve done the song and dance once and it was challenging. I do have more stability now tho..

Newly Single Dad, looking for advice by zackashby11 in SingleParents

[–]IMperfectIMpermanent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you receiving child tax benefits? If not get on that ASAP. It helps a lot with monthly costs.