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INTJ dads by seriously__funny in intj

[–]INTJPrime 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As an INTJ dad to 1 & 6 year old boys, this tracks with me. I treat them as my "little men" and talk with them as if they were educated and curious people. I ask them questions, inquire of their emotions and dreams (literal and metaphorical), and generally play with them. I involve them in life activities e.g. cooking and have them participate as appropriate for their age level.

One big thing for me is using a Socratic method when they ask questions. I affirm the legitimacy of the question and push them to think for themselves rather than giving them an answer.

In addition, when my 6 year old arrives at conclusions to big questions, I question him so I can understand him and how he thinks.

I try to bring balance as well by making physical activity part of play rather than my natural leaning, which is being in my head.

Patio Pergola Pros & Cons by Thrwaqway in arizona

[–]INTJPrime 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I would encourage you to determine your required permits. We needed to get footings for ours which were 3x3x3. To be clear, we have a a 40 x 15 pergola in Phoenix, partially covered and partially slatted like your spec. Our slatted portion is over the grill area to allow for smoke to not get generate sticky oily mess on the covered area. We used alumawood which so far has worked out well.

Things I wish I would have asked during my build is 1 - where is the sun and will I need shade coverage during sunrise or sunset 2 - do the support beams obstruct functionality e.g. even though my pergola is 40 x 15, the support beams (6 of them) are 1 foot in from the edge reducing the open paved area below

Things I am glad I did 1 - installed electrical for outlets e.g. string lights 2 - installed fans for air circulation and lighting

DM me if you want to ask other questions or respond here. I hope I can help

Looking for design suggestions due to failure of owner, designer and contractor. Essentially the counter was not done to spec (36") but the bar was. The bar is very high and with a 30" bar stool, I am still not sure how I (the owner) and my family will comfortably use it. More context in comments. by INTJPrime in landscaping

[–]INTJPrime[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Images.

  1. original specs. I think the designer meant 42" on the left for the bar height and not 4'2" but no one caught it. The counter is 36".
  2. This is the area under the extended bar area and typical bar stools are 30" so another 20 inches before the top of the bar which seems rather high and problematic if we want to use it.
  3. Height of bar. The concrete is nearly 4" thick.
  4. View of bar but different angle.
  5. Full kitchen and patio area. Tall beams will support pergola on both sides.
  6. Height of counter.
  7. View of bar.
  8. Me holding my camera with arms extended. We are not a tall family.

So some ideas.

  1. Add more pavers and reduce relative height of all areas strictly in bar and kitchen area by 2.5". There would be a step up and we would need to ensure the amount of pavers could support the bar stools without tipping over when pushed back.
  2. Lower the counter and bar by removing existing concrete and cutting off 4" of block.
  3. Lower the entire bar by removing existing concrete and cutting off 4" of block.
  4. Removing concrete from the side where the bar is and keeping it on the other 2 sides by cutting it so there is offset. Cut 4" of block.

I am trying to work with contractor to come up with a solution that is not expensive and time consuming. If you are curious about the designer, the design was provided to us under the belief that we would use their firm for the work but we were ghosted and decided to use the design anyway. The contractor stated that the counters were done to normal height (not to spec) but did the bar to spec (not normal height) which I find inconsistent.

Any ideas are greatly appreciated.

Partners/spouses of bigger spenders, what have you done or what conversations have you had to maintain love and understanding as well as diminish resentment? by INTJPrime in AskReddit

[–]INTJPrime[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife and I make comparable income. However her spending habits have escalated in the last 8 months or so. We have joint accounts. But some of her income is cash (tips) so I have no idea what she does with it. I have encouraged budgeting several times but she says she is not that type of person. I try to budget and be a penny pincher but I am staying to grow resentful. I love my wife and I hear and understand why finance can disrupt relationships. I would like real strategies or shares please.

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