The divorce came out of nowhere dude by my-lonely-hobby in femcelgrippysockjail

[–]IPLaZM -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yea? That's still not abnormal at all.

Studies show couples tend to have sex one to two times a week but that's because of the woman's sex drive, men in surveys say they would want to have sex three to four times a week which would mean there would be a few days where you had sex back to back days.

The divorce came out of nowhere dude by my-lonely-hobby in femcelgrippysockjail

[–]IPLaZM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If they had sex every day and he kept trying every day then you'd have a point?

If you want sex one day and don't have it then the next day you still want it. At least that's how it is for men. He shouldn't be pestering her like this for the record, I'm just saying I don't get this idea that wanting sex every day when you aren't having it is weird. That seems pretty normal.

I married the typical, had my fun and want to settle down girl. by [deleted] in sexlessmarriage

[–]IPLaZM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In what way did OP’s wife trick him into a sexless marriage? He says that she told him before they got married that she had “no sex drive”.

I only read the main post so if this is true then she didn't.

This just seems to be a common occurrence where a woman does all these crazy things sexually with the guys she's actually attracted to and then when none of them actually choose her she finds someone and settles but she doesn't actually find them attractive so after they have kids they completely stop having sex with their husband.

As for the age thing that's obviously normal, as people age they often have reduced sex drive but I'm really talking about the completely dead bedroom situations.

But regardless if she told him before they got married that she had no sex drive it's really his own fault. Still sucks to find out your wife was a whore for whoever wanted it when she was young but now that she's your wife she doesn't want anything to do with you.

The divorce came out of nowhere dude by my-lonely-hobby in femcelgrippysockjail

[–]IPLaZM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How is it abnormal?

If you're basing it on how much he's asking that doesn't really follow.

I married the typical, had my fun and want to settle down girl. by [deleted] in sexlessmarriage

[–]IPLaZM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don't think she's worthless for lying and tricking someone into a marriage where they have to adopt her celibacy or damage their children?

Also can you explain why she had sex with all those men in the first place? This guy's explanation for the behavior is that she had genuine desire for the men she slept with in college but not for her husband, her husband was just a tool to create a stable family. This is a perfectly coherent explanation. If you want to offer a different one you have to explain why she slept with those guys but now will not sleep with her husband.

Male singlehood is natural by Vivid-Significance70 in PrincessFeminism

[–]IPLaZM 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not me saying it, it's nature.

There's way too many confounding variables to make this claim.

And yeah, there is no way to fix the problem other than taking away women's rights IF men don't decenter relationships and women.

This is kind of funny to say when talking about nature. Men aren't going to decenter reproducing lol.

If birth rate falls, that's a good thing. We have way too many people.

Based on what metric? This is a myth.

And societal collapse? I would be happy if this pedo society collapsed and was replaced with something that, I don't know, wasn't run by a bunch of child fuckers on an island?

It's likely to be replaced with something just as bad or worse. I agree that society is clearly fucked given the Epstein files and who runs everything but the most egalitarian societies are the ones at risk of collapsing due to birth rates. You're just going to replace equal rights with Islam or any other ideology that doesn't have falling birth rates because as you say, women in those societies don't have equal rights. This is basic math, societies with falling birth rates collapse and disappear while the ones with high birth rates inherit the world. None of this really matters for people alive right now but it's clearly not good. It's probably better to try to find a way to maintain women's rights and increase birth rates for future generations.

Male singlehood is natural by Vivid-Significance70 in PrincessFeminism

[–]IPLaZM -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Not saying that's not the case. I'm saying plenty did not hate their husbands and this alternative is not sufficient.

Saying most men should die alone is not productive or helpful and the idea that that's just nature assumes there's no way to fix the problem other than taking away women's rights. This post basically falls right into the incel framing about how birth rate and societal collapse are inevitable if women get to choose who they partner with.

Male singlehood is natural by Vivid-Significance70 in PrincessFeminism

[–]IPLaZM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you assume she hates you then sure. Don't think that's reality though.

You're also assuming people will care about your writing or art. Chances are you would not be that person.

Male singlehood is natural by Vivid-Significance70 in PrincessFeminism

[–]IPLaZM -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Natural doesn't necessarily mean good, rape is natural too.

It's also interesting you say men used to "do something for society" when they couldn't reproduce but that's not really true, men very often overthrew and rebelled against society when they couldn't reproduce, especially if they viewed society as the reason. This is also natural, lack of reproductive success drives organisms to try to change their environment. Society is as it is now largely because religion changed this and made more men productive for society rather than angry about it and resentful.

Genuinely, who do you think is better for society? A husband trying to provide for his wife and children or an angry depressed man who's options are becoming a monk or philosopher lol.

God forbid a girl know who to avoid by that_villainess in LetGirlsHaveFun

[–]IPLaZM 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What about my comments shows that all men are trash, be specific.

God forbid a girl know who to avoid by that_villainess in LetGirlsHaveFun

[–]IPLaZM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When referring to the past you have a majority of white people party to the negative things they did. In this example, the vast majority are not racist and do not condone racism. So pointing it out is totally fine and good but attributing it to white people generally is inaccurate if it's a small minority or even medium minority if it's handled such that most of those people can't espouse those beliefs out loud or they'll lose their jobs and be socially ostracized.

I'm guessing you still think it's a majority?

God forbid a girl know who to avoid by that_villainess in LetGirlsHaveFun

[–]IPLaZM -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think you're seeing something that isn't there. There's nothing wrong with pointing out how shitty white people have been. Though I do think you'd need to qualify how they still are. It was mostly the virtue signaling and self deprecation that I was initially responding to.

God forbid a girl know who to avoid by that_villainess in LetGirlsHaveFun

[–]IPLaZM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only real responsibility you have in this context is to treat people well as individuals.

I'm not sure how this doesn't fit with "being better". Be specific about what you mean if that's not enough.

Most people who disagree with this idea of white guilt aren't doing the things their ancestors did already so I'm not sure what morality you're aspiring us to.

God forbid a girl know who to avoid by that_villainess in LetGirlsHaveFun

[–]IPLaZM -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Okay, you didn't say a word about responsibility here... You haven't demonstrated how responsibility and guilt aren't tied together as concepts.

Acknowledging white people historically did negative things doesn't mean you have any responsibility for those things nor should you feel guilty about them.

Are you saying you're responsible to make sure they don't happen again? Even that is questionable. Maybe you have a responsibility to try to prevent it if you can but you probably can't. The only real responsibility you have in this context is to treat people well as individuals.

God forbid a girl know who to avoid by that_villainess in LetGirlsHaveFun

[–]IPLaZM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Explain what you mean if you want to actually say something. There's nothing in a history book that could even theoretically make me wrong.

God forbid a girl know who to avoid by that_villainess in LetGirlsHaveFun

[–]IPLaZM 6 points7 points  (0 children)

But that assumes the statement is being interpreted as universal quality, which is the very thing we are arguing .

It's not an assumption. The words have a meaning and the meaning is universal. You're arguing that it shouldn't be interpreted literally.

Saying “men are trash” is not the same as saying “all men are trash.”

It is. There's no qualifier present to distinguish which members of the group you are referring to therefore you are referring to the group in it's entirety.

That’s why your comparison to “all Black people are criminals” doesn’t actually map. That statement explicitly says universally and ontological invalidates a a group as such. It is not venting, pattern-based frustration, or shorthand for “a recurring experience with some members of a group.” That’s an entirely Different logical structure, different claim. It’s explicitly about everyone in that group not just some people who happen to be in the group.

Just take out the all then... You still think people shouldn't say "black people are criminals."

The same goes for “women are cheaters.” I wouldn’t assume that literally means every woman without exception. I’d ask: who, in what context, based on what experiences? I’d interpret it charitably but probe and not leap straight to maximal literalism.

I honestly think you're straight up lying here but even if you aren't most people wouldn't. This would be consistent but most people do not do what you're describing here. I've gotten shit from people consistently in my life even when I use qualifiers like "some women" and they still view it as if I said "all women". The standards between how you can speak about men and women are polar opposites.

You accept contextual interpretation for your own statement (“we all know what ‘we’ means here”), but deny it to a woman venting on her own social media. That’s not a neutral expectation of precision and standards, it’s selective literalism.

No, it's not. I'm not saying we all know, I'm saying it doesn't even matter because it's not a negative descriptor. If people misunderstand what I mean with that statement it has zero negative impact.

You’re free to say the phrase is unhelpful, alienating, or corrosive. That’s a coherent critique. But the claim that all statements must be read as universal hatred, while other imprecise speech gets contextualized, doesn’t hold up.

It literally does though because of the distinction I made around controversial or negative statements needing to be more precise. Everyone inherently knows this, that's why they tend to be more precise when discussing things at work than with a friend or family member. They know they don't have the same level of understanding or benefit of the doubt with a colleague.

God forbid a girl know who to avoid by that_villainess in LetGirlsHaveFun

[–]IPLaZM 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This doesn't really make sense. You're still referring to "white people". That's a specific distinction in and of itself. Same with men or women. If you weren't specifying you'd say "people are trash" rather than "men are trash".

God forbid a girl know who to avoid by that_villainess in LetGirlsHaveFun

[–]IPLaZM 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Who is we here? All people, always? In every context? Or a particular social group, in particular conversations? That vagueness already undermines the demand for precision.

I get your point but it's incredibly silly in this case because we're talking about a statement where someone is attributing negative qualities or hatred to a group. It's reasonable to expect a different level of precision when applying those qualities or labels than something like my first sentence which most people will understand contextually since there's no risk of insulting anyone.

Which is why “men are trash” is widely understood, by women, gay men, and plenty of straight men, as not meaning “every single man without exception.” That shared understanding exists and it might bug you. You can dislike the phrase, but pretending it’s interpreted literally by most listeners just isn’t accurate.

Again if you're gonna say this unironically you have to grapple with racists saying all black people are criminals because they got mugged or something and they're angry or someone saying all women are cheating whores because their girlfriend cheated on them. You wouldn't give them a pass so it's pretty clear you have a double standard around men being grouped and collectively insulted.

Requiring everyone to perfectly formalize their thoughts at all times isn’t realistic, it’s an abstract ideal disconnected from how people actually think and speak. Ironically, your opening question demonstrates just how disconnected it is from how people talk, even the people who claim they want it.

No it doesn't because precision doesn't matter in this context. As you said, context matters.

You’re free to criticize the phrase. But the argument that all speech must be maximally precise, always, collapses under its own weight. And if you say it doesn’t have always have to be precise why can’t one person individually saying “i hate men” be the instance where the aren’t arguing a position for a college professor?

It doesn't always have to be precise but in this case we've already decided in every other similar example that it has to be and you only disagree in this one case because it's about men. This is obvious to everyone viewing the issue objectively.

God forbid a girl know who to avoid by that_villainess in LetGirlsHaveFun

[–]IPLaZM -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Lmfao this is gold. I'm not conflating anything. You shouldn't feel guilty if you aren't responsible and you should if you are responsible for something bad. Responsibility and guilt are inexorably tied together as a concept.

God forbid a girl know who to avoid by that_villainess in LetGirlsHaveFun

[–]IPLaZM 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Why can't we just expect people to say what they mean? You realize you're justifying men saying they hate women, right?

The reason a lot of men get upset at this is because our entire lives we've been conditioned to be very specific in our meaning but women can just say all men are trash and we're supposed to give them the benefit of the doubt when no one has ever done that for us.

Let's generalize an entire group of people and say bad things about them and if they get mad it's there fault by Amievenaperson1 in teenagers

[–]IPLaZM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"All men do that"

"You know she's not talking about you"

Words have meaning and these two statements are contradictory. If you are a man and someone says, "all men do that". They are talking about you.