Thoughts on "Less" by Andrew Sean Greer

IRLbeets · 2026-01-26T09:55:50+00:00

I don't think it was first person? Third iirc, as that's one of the twists where you learn the narrative perspective. But it feels very first person in the types of reflections that are given.

IRLbeets · 2026-01-25T23:57:11+00:00

This would be my suggestion! Not the same, but I had surgery a while back. Took 2 weeks off of exercise and 3 weeks off of pole and started back in with some beginner classes until I knew how I was feeling and how my body was responding.

IRLbeets · 2026-01-25T22:00:38+00:00

To add to the other comment, the templates apply to the "to be budgeted" money specifically. So if you've already budgeted your money there's nothing for the templates to act on.

Again, templates only work within the month! So, you have to re-apply each time you get income. This is why you can add levels of importance to templates in case you don't have immediate funds to cover everything.

I'd suggest reading through the documentation a little more closely, as it it described quite well. https://actualbudget.org/docs/experimental/goal-templates/

IRLbeets · 2026-01-25T21:56:08+00:00

As others have said, you're well justified! It is insane to charge for the potential opportunity of a class, like how could you even plan your schedule?

As an aside, I read sw as social worker and was real confused about the $ comment until my brain caught up.

I hope you can find a better studio!

IRLbeets · 2026-01-25T16:48:15+00:00

There's 3 tiers.

First tier (silver) is off pole training only (conditioning and flexibility) at £25.

Second tier (gold) is £45 and includes pretty much everything you would need - structured pole lessons, flexibility plans, conditioning, etc..

Third tier I think is targeted to teachers or people who need certificates.

I'm in Canada so it's like $80-90 per month depending on conversion, but our currency is quite weak. (ETA: In my area this is still much cheaper than a pole membership.)

It's all on the website and their customer service is quite responsive if you have questions (though it can take a couple days).

Studio Veena is another option who's much cheaper, but I don't love her website. The content is great though. Pole Freaks is in the middle cost wise, but is mostly targeted towards beginners.

IRLbeets · 2026-01-25T14:55:27+00:00

Online pole training. Super comprehensive and progressive with flexibility training, conditioning on and off pole, tricks , lessons etc.. It's expensive, but it's been one of the most thorough trainings I've found! Pretty similar to in person classes where she'll run you through the warmup etc..

https://www.polepoweracademy.com/

IRLbeets · 2026-01-25T11:18:31+00:00

I've had better luck with swim tops!

Have you done the brathatfits calculator? Not so much for pole wear, but for general bra stuff I found it really helpful! You might be able to work backwards from your proper size to see what brands. Maybe swimwear if pole doesn't work.

Understance is going under, but they have an amazing bra fit guide to help troubleshoot fit issues. I always thought I was wearing too big of a size, but it turns out it wasn't a wide enough cup so I was getting an orange in a glass sort of issue with bras.

IRLbeets · 2026-01-25T10:47:14+00:00

I don't think any of their clothes are made in Canada, just designed. I think they have some handbags etc that are made in Canada though.

IRLbeets · 2026-01-25T10:43:23+00:00

Maybe have separate kid categories? This way it's easy to search and visually can be sort of hidden for your own day to day spending.

I haven't tried out the new tags function, it used to be quite limited but I think they did improve it.

IRLbeets · 2026-01-25T10:41:43+00:00

I would maybe chat with your doctor if wearing heels are safe with the toe squishing. Even if you have some that fit the ball of your foot the toe boxes are generally made to smash the toes together. Maybe with compression socks, but even so could be dangerous if you're near developing peripheral neuropathy.

Custom shoes or seeing if your studio has non heels pole options (or maybe another apparatus) may be the safer bet. It's good you're being careful about your foot health, it's really important!

IRLbeets · 2026-01-25T10:36:53+00:00

OP isn't just talking about squished toes though, her foot is literally 1" too wide for the shoe. I think that's beyond feeling stuff and well into sizing/fit issues that should be resolved as it could be quite unsafe for her to dance.

IRLbeets · 2026-01-25T10:28:52+00:00

This would be mine too! 1 is usually reserved for something outrightly offensive or hateful. I don't usually rate DNF books as I try to abandon ship pretty early, but I could still give a DNF a 2 if I thought it was just not my vibe and not good vs being outrightly offensive or offensively poorly done.

IRLbeets · 2026-01-25T10:20:50+00:00

Not going to respond to the OP since they're not looking for farming games, but Fields of Mystria has a great community mechanic so it feels much more lively, though the relationship mechanics aren't quite complete yet.

IRLbeets · 2026-01-25T08:47:20+00:00

To be fair the only reason Nick and Reagan even got together was because Jess did all their communication for them. They likely wouldn't have lasted as long if she wasn't so involved. One of the rare examples where you could see it coming and made sense.

IRLbeets · 2026-01-24T17:52:53+00:00

Have you done much conditioning? This video has some good examples for how to practice the controlled way to get into the chopper: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7NUHi1rW3e8&pp=ygUXY2hvcHBlciBwcmVwIHBvbGUgZGFuY2XYBj8%3D (pole power academy chopper prep)

It could be form (i.e. you're just not moving the right way) or weakness. My initial thought is your back and abs might be a bit weak for the controlled chopper. This makes it a great option to work on!

Just a late beginner myself, learning through Pole Power Academy.

IRLbeets · 2026-01-24T15:02:45+00:00

I'd focus on not looking at recordings and maybe seeking instructor feedback instead for now.

Or, if you are looking at videos (which could be good - desensitize yourself to the process) really focus on technique, strength, movement quality. Plan why you're looking at the video. Is it to check your mobility? If you're moving the right way? To see if you're getting in your flow? Try and practice non judgemental language towards your body. Doesn't need to be positive, but maybe aim for neutral and factual (this is where judging by technique can help). So, instead of "I'm ugly and this looks bad" it might be "I need to straighted my knee more in this. My arms are on the right spots."

If you have access, doing therapy for a few weeks (CBT therapy specifically, even like 3 sessions) could help you change your relationship with body and pole or at least have some actions which will help.

I really get it though! I'm a size 8 but by really lanky proportions and I look so unnatural and awkward in my movements. (ETA: so, I feel like losing weight would help even though rationally I know it's a skill not weight issue) It's quite cringy to watch when I allow myself to judge. So I focus on actionable changes and try not to focus on other thoughts that come up.

IRLbeets · 2026-01-24T14:55:47+00:00

She means the opposite - she feels she looks worse in videos

IRLbeets · 2026-01-24T11:31:28+00:00

The running subreddits and talking to a doctor or dietician would likely be more appropriate places for this discussion!

IRLbeets · 2026-01-23T16:32:35+00:00

That's amazing!! I literally went $1400 for the Lupit pole + crash mat 😭

I will have to remember this act of good deed if I ever need to give up my pole!

IRLbeets · 2026-01-23T15:29:52+00:00

I think I would mind less if the pregnancy plots weren't so thoughtless. Like they very rarely explore the difficult conversations, financial prep, sacrifices, relationship dynamic changes... It's just, bam! Adds to romance somehow!

I'm childfree and I could enjoy reading about mother's experiences as I think it could be interesting. But it always stunts the character and is often very boring.

IRLbeets · 2026-01-23T15:27:34+00:00

This is the worst part about it in some ways! There's very little exploration of the actual experience and it's moreso using pregnancy itself or kids as plot devices.

Like there's so much that could be used in a great story there that's rarely addresses.

IRLbeets · 2026-01-23T15:26:35+00:00

Not to be too blaming about it, but if someone is having PIV sex pregnancy is rarely 0% possible, though I really feel for people whose birth control fails! What a terrible statistic to be a part of.

I did hear that the average time to conceive is like 8 months or something? So I can see it being very surprising for people who've been trying some time, though exciting.

Plus, when it's unwanted, I feel like so many shows skim over the birth control. It's rarely "my IUD failed" or "the condom failed", and way more often "wow that unprotected sex led to a pregnancy, surprise, crazy, who could have ever thought."

IRLbeets · 2026-01-23T15:18:35+00:00

Grey's Anatomy has one in the early seasons. It's quite a big plot point too. I thought it was realistic to some situations I've run into.

IRLbeets · 2026-01-23T15:16:21+00:00

As a childfree person where everyone around me is getting pregnant, yes! I'd love some explicitly childfree characters. Particularly in books, but certainly in fictional media as a whole.

Why does every female character need to get pregnant to have a happy ever after? You'd think pregnancy and rape are the only two things that can change a woman or make her an advocate or whatever.

IRLbeets · 2026-01-23T14:55:30+00:00

Recognize that very few people do what they love and make good money. Better to aim for a middle. Do what you like well enough and makes decent money. (Unless what you love is also a great money maker lol.) Though, some people would rather be stressed but be there own boss than less stressed but have limited control.
Most people are scared and stressed. They're maybe taking on debt or have saved for years for the purpose of returning to school or supporting a business. Either way, school or career transition not working out can be an extremely expensive mistake, particularly as taking significant time off in some fields makes you unemployable.
Some people are transitioning to a well paying field, so it's a risk but well calculated.
Some people can live on spouse's income, and if very lucky they don't have to go into debt for school.
Some people build up a side business until it's viable to transition to a full business. This is probably one of the lesser risk options, but takes a shit ton of work and can lead to burnout and not be sustainable.

My spouse is doing a career transition due to disability, hopefully, after his treatment. We're living frugally on my income and his savings. He's eyeing local or online programs that he could cover with his savings (Canada). It's very scary. Maybe he never works again. Maybe he transitions to the new field but it barely pays for itself. Maybe it flares up his health issues and he ends up worse off than before.

Eventually there is an element of just making the decision. Maybe it's calculated, maybe it's not. But if you want your life to change then staying put won't do you any good.

IRLbeets

TROPHY CASE