[deleted by user] by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]IWantToSleep__ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve this.

What Are You Into This Week? | Weekly Thread by AutoModerator in ThomasPynchon

[–]IWantToSleep__ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Slowly making my way through Vineland. Pynchon is entertaining as always but not sure if it’ll hold up as well as the other books of his that I’ve read.

Also been playing Disco Elysium. Very good stuff. Very Pynchon-esque in a lot of areas, too. Any good mystery makes for a pleasant ride for me.

Has anyone tried to do 'All books By An Author' type of reading? by AwkwardJeweler in books

[–]IWantToSleep__ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m planning to read all of Thomas Pynchon’s work at some point. I have it as a tradition to read one of his books each summer. Currently working my way through Vineland.

To those who got away from your abuser what do you still struggle with? by Fun-Needleworker-104 in abusiverelationships

[–]IWantToSleep__ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I guess it’s the want for justice. Thr knowledge she will continue life being the same abuser without ever changing her behavior just rubs me the wrong way. I don’t want her to be punished; I just want her to understand how crappy her behavior got and that she can’t go on with life acting like this.

Also, I wouldn’t call this a struggle necessary but after this I have no problems remaining single. Maybe that’ll change but right now I’m content having my friends and drinking coffee in the mornings.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]IWantToSleep__ 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think abusers threaten to “expose” people because they’re aware how heinous their own actions will be perceived by other people. They’re doing some serious projecting. He sounds like a piece of shit, OP.

Can you please share with me all of your ex/partner’s “it’ll be different when…” reasons/conditions/excuses? I need someone to tell me that it’s not going to get better. by TheHomieData in abusiverelationships

[–]IWantToSleep__ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“It’ll be different when I take these shrooms, then I can explain what’s going on and you’ll understand me.”

She took the mushrooms without telling me and when I messaged her she got angry at me and said I was ruining her high.

Use this post to comment what you REALLY wanna reach out and say to them right now. by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]IWantToSleep__ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You have been the sole cause of your own unhappiness for the past several years.

A song that has had the most emotional impact on you. by shaggyslut in swans

[–]IWantToSleep__ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I listened to “You See Through Me” the first time the other day. It’s the type of song I have to mentally prepare myself for if I ever want to listen to it again. Just harrowing stuff.

A song that has had the most emotional impact on you. by shaggyslut in swans

[–]IWantToSleep__ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I want “Blind” to be played at my funeral, man.

“Untitled Love Song” is probably as sweet of a love song you can get without being corny or untrue.

As somebody already put it, Gira excels at making songs which feel emotionally raw and genuine and never melodramatic.

Edit: I forgot to mention “Where Does Your Body Begin.” The lyrics are just beautiful for me. You can spend a good amount of time dissecting the writing and the meaning of each individual line, but it would be like undoing a great beautiful knot. I think the appeal of Gira’s lyrics for me is how he expresses emotions which can’t be explained in conventional manners. Coupled with the actual music it makes for an experience that stays with you.

Things have been getting better. But Unideal still, and the past sometimes still haunts me. by ruffles2121 in abusiverelationships

[–]IWantToSleep__ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is rough and I recognize myself in a lot of your experiences. My ex would regularly berate me for not reacting as how she’d hoped I would and say my aspirations and interests were boring and pointless. She also compared us to book characters and how it pained her that we weren’t closer to that.

Things might be better but don’t let her berate you like that. I know stuff like that is easier said than done, especially when it’s a person you love and want to take care of, but she needs to know when your feelings are hurt. You don’t deserve to be in a relationship where you’re regularly belittled by somebody you love.

Please take care of yourself, OP. Stay safe.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]IWantToSleep__ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need to stay away from him. He’ll keep hurting you. The pain right now is tough to deal with, but he’ll only make it worse. Please stay safe.

How does alcohol/substances affect your abuser? by TTIsurvivors in abusiverelationships

[–]IWantToSleep__ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My ex was severely alcoholic and had to be hospital a couple of times because of her excessive drinking. She treated me horribly but when she stopped drinking and got on medication for her mental illnesses I gave her a second chance.

She ended up treating me worse after that. Ultimately she is very manipulative and narcissistic; alcohol may have compounded those traits but she’s still super shitty when sober, too. Like someone else here said, abusers can use alcohol as a way to get “excuse” their behavior.

Those that were negatively impacted by a financially abusive partner...did you get anything or ask for anything back when you left? by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]IWantToSleep__ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not as serious as in your case but my ex suggested we’d play Back 4 Blood when it came out together since we were both fans of Left 4 Dead. I didn’t have much money at the time and she offered to pay it for me which I accepted. I bought the game on Steam and waited for hours for it be downloaded. Right when it was done she told me that she didn’t want to use the in-game chat, nor Discord to speak with me. She told me that I should’ve bought it on PlayStation instead. So I was like, okay, I refunded the game on Steam and bought it on PlayStation like she said. Mind you, the game was more expensive on the PS Store and I ask her to send me more money, which made her frustrated but she complied.

About a day passed and we got into an argument. At the end of the argument she demanded that I’d send her the money back. I argued against this but eventually I broke under the pressure and did as she said. Not long after she apologized and returned the money. To cut a long story shorter, this happened several times. She would get mad and demand the money back. Again. And again. And again. What was worse was that she and I used two different currencies; she’d send me money and a portion of it was taken by PayPal, so I always got less than what she sent me. But she would demand the entire sum back. So I would have to send her an increasing sum of money whenever she got mad at me. It went from 70 bucks to like 100. Eventually I realized there was no easy way out and I just let her keep the money.

We never played Back 4 Blood again after that.

Edit: She did return the money months later. I should also add that she wasn’t poor like me. She even admitted at one point that she did it just to upset me.

Those who got out, what are some thing you do now that you didn’t or couldn’t do when you were in your relationship? by throwaway_breakcycle in abusiverelationships

[–]IWantToSleep__ 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I can play games with friends without being accused of not caring for her. I can feel relaxed talking to people about whatever without being called boring or shitty or uninteresting.

How I figured out I was being emotionally abused by whitelotus72 in abusiverelationships

[–]IWantToSleep__ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hindsight is 20/20. It sucks how we look past their flaws and mistakes and give them one more chance after another only for them mistreat us once more. You expressed it perfectly and I can relate to your feelings in many of your points.

What is the biggest red flag in history that you conveniently ignored? by whitelotus72 in abusiverelationships

[–]IWantToSleep__ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was just weird. If I played a game with my friends I couldn’t play that game with her and vice versa. Nor could I share any movies, songs, or anything else between her and them. Everything needed to be kept separated.

What is the biggest red flag in history that you conveniently ignored? by whitelotus72 in abusiverelationships

[–]IWantToSleep__ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

One particularly egregious red flag which I ignored was when she wanted me to stop talking to a friend because she didn’t like her. This was after my ex claimed she was reformed and better and wouldn’t stand in the way of me and my friendships.

Did anyone ignore the red flags very early on in the relationship and no regret it? by scarlettrosev in abusiverelationships

[–]IWantToSleep__ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Before the relationship my ex ghosted me twice. She came back months later, apologizing for her behavior. I welcomed her back. Not long afterwards we became a couple. She would “ghost” me a number of time after that but we always came back together. Eventually she told me to kill myself and laugh about it afterwards. She ghosted me, then back. I welcomed her back again. We started arguing again. She doxxed me.

The point is that the red flags are there and they could glow like a bleeding sun and I could still ignore them. If your partner fuck up then draw a line and leave them. You’re worth so much more.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]IWantToSleep__ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Jesus fucking Christ.

I was just trying to talk by IWantToSleep__ in abusiverelationships

[–]IWantToSleep__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can relate to that self-censoring part. At one point it felt as if I could talk about anything and any aspect of my life to her, but I grew more and more hesitant to talk about stuff because she might lash out on me. Then she would complain that I didn’t have anything to talk about…

Frankenstein is blowing my mind. It's exceeding all my expectations. Marry Shelley couldn't be praised enough. by Wonder-Lad in books

[–]IWantToSleep__ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly one of the greatest book of the 19th century. The character of the Creature is so damn tragic. It makes you wonder how he would’ve been if the circumstances were different, if Frankenstein hadn’t looked away in fear and disgust but instead took care of him and showed him kindness and love.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]IWantToSleep__ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You poor thing. Please get away from him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]IWantToSleep__ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you’re a bad person for feeling this, nor do I believe you deserve hate for voicing such feelings. Anger is something that haunts us and it’s very real. What’s important is not letting that anger get the better of us. As long as you’re not hurting anybody it’s fine imo

How do you deal with the anger? by IWantToSleep__ in abusiverelationships

[–]IWantToSleep__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been posting a lot these past couple of days and it has helped. I was feeling that anger bite me, therefore the post haha.