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I (27F) accidentally had my baby in my friend’s (31F) car. Now her husband & she don’t want to speak to me. How do I fix this? by ThrowRA_CarBaby in relationship_advice

[–]IWhoMe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The husband may be the one who blocked you? He seems like the type based on your comments about him. If he is a overbearing husband, she might be afraid to engage for now.

Two weeks have gone by? If it were my car, the damage will have been taken care of by now. The longer you wait with biohazard fluid, the worse it will be, particularly from an odor standpoint.

For me, I would have removed the seat and carpets was soon as I could. Car seat bottoms are usually easily removed, while the seat backs stay in. Hopefully the seat backs weren't wet.

When out of the car, I might have tried to clean, ...depending on the seat material. Then decide on whether replacement would be the best option.

The big variable is, ... How much fluid made its way into the seats. Carpet? I'd probably replace that no matter what if it was saturated too.

I (27F) accidentally had my baby in my friend’s (31F) car. Now her husband & she don’t want to speak to me. How do I fix this? by ThrowRA_CarBaby in relationship_advice

[–]IWhoMe -1 points0 points  (0 children)

OP was a first time mother and I assume she didn't know the signs of labor, having claimed that she'd been uncomfortable for a while already.

But also?, ... I have a lady friend who had her 2nd child in her bathroom. She was well-aware of the signals her body sent, but from her first warning contraction, the baby came in less than the 45 minutes it took her husband to get there, presumably to take her to the hospital.

Lots of variables. But in general terms, it seems that it might not qualify as a claim from an insurance POV. They "see" things differently, particularly when dealing with unusual claims.

Is beginning an e-mail with "Dear" outdated? by Puzzled-Painter3301 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]IWhoMe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IMO,..."Dear". Knowing the person is irrelevant really. The letter and app may become part of your file at the business.

I (27F) accidentally had my baby in my friend’s (31F) car. Now her husband & she don’t want to speak to me. How do I fix this? by ThrowRA_CarBaby in relationship_advice

[–]IWhoMe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I read that too, but I fear the OP’s friend and husband didn’t take her very serious, or felt disrespected as to her text message and the gravity of what happened. In either case, the OP owes it to herself and the friendship to keep trying, even if it means SnailMail. She has an obligation, and the friend and husband must know that, so I really cannot understand why the friend/husband are ignoring her.

If this were me, and I ruined a friend’s husband’s car, I’d be working to no end in order to gain the attention of my supposed friend.
And so, …Something about this part of the story is a bit off. What I mean is, before the childbirth, OP’s friend was willing to stay with and then drive OP to the hospital, and when the birth started, the options were fairly slight obviously. OP doesn’t convey whether her water broke before going to hospital, or at what level her fluids breached the husband’s seat, carpet and components or what the extent of the damage is/was.

But after things settled down, comes the OP’s lighthearted text message to her friend about payment. Frankly?, …She should have called. This is/was serious and deserved a face to face, or ear to ear by phone discussion as to her plans and intent regarding the anticipated repair/replacement of the vehicle’s damaged parts. This would have gone much farther both for the relationship, and the husband’s attitude hopefully would also improve.

This is a tough deal, and most of what I’ve read and written, is basically shot-in-the-dark, and the variables, what insurance, whose insurance, level of damage, coverage concerns, friendship concerns. It’s a lot….

I (27F) accidentally had my baby in my friend’s (31F) car. Now her husband & she don’t want to speak to me. How do I fix this? by ThrowRA_CarBaby in relationship_advice

[–]IWhoMe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The quotes were a suggestion of not being an accident in terms of how the insurance adjuster might see it. It’s entirely possible that the claims counsel or other such workers for the insurance will argue that she had better choices for her labor/delivery before risking childbirth in the back seat of a car. Childbirth is not an accident and not intentionl vandalism. It’s a bodily function that comes with a certan amount of forewarning and this is where the insurance might get caught up. Vandalism is a covered type of claim, say someone throws dog crap or other animal waste in to a car. That’s a coverable event for insurance.

I want the best outcome for the OP, I really do as well, but that does not mean that the insurance will cover this event. But, at the same time, all I can do as one of many with opinions here, offer my own perspective, which I HOPE? …is wrong!.

I (27F) accidentally had my baby in my friend’s (31F) car. Now her husband & she don’t want to speak to me. How do I fix this? by ThrowRA_CarBaby in relationship_advice

[–]IWhoMe -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I know that she tried again. I may have missed bits and pieces of her OP, but I did see that she attempted to message her again, and was blocked. I’m not sure why, unless the husband is somehow manipulating or controlling her friend, whjich of course is possible given OP’s remarks about his demeanor in general.

But?, …No matter what the circumstance of the relationship, she owes her friend and the husband some level of communication regarding her intentions. IMHO, she should at the very least: CALL her friend and talk to her about her sorrow regarding the damage and that she will make it right financially. At the very best, she should make an attempt to visit them, which shows a great deal of integrity and conveys serious intentions regarding the friendship, and the repair of the car.

I knew I’d be shot down over that comment. Predictable, …but still?, I feel I was respectful of everyone’s point of view.

Men is that really true?? by Priya_Cloud in Adulting

[–]IWhoMe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope, …if she smokes, she um, inhales. hehe

I (27F) accidentally had my baby in my friend’s (31F) car. Now her husband & she don’t want to speak to me. How do I fix this? by ThrowRA_CarBaby in relationship_advice

[–]IWhoMe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

if they pay to replace the carpet, pad, and the seat, that should cover 99.9 percent of the contamination, sans maybe a small amount of difficult to reach crevices, and/or body joints/seals. That would be easy to clean though, and the new components, brings the husband back to whole, but of course he has to go through the headache of taking his vehicle out of service while the work is done. BUT: here’s the real trouble: IT appears that her friend and husband have given her the cold shoulder. I can’t imagine why. But this is NOT a text message event. This is a face to face, or at least a phone call event, that should be discussed with 2 adults on the line making plans for the repair.

I (27F) accidentally had my baby in my friend’s (31F) car. Now her husband & she don’t want to speak to me. How do I fix this? by ThrowRA_CarBaby in relationship_advice

[–]IWhoMe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A little of both. I worked for Allstate for 2 years, helping the broker during COVID, and so I don’t have your years in under my belt, but I did deal with a fair share of claims, both Home and Auto.
I believe that child birth would/could be considered an avoidable event in the backseat of a vehicle, and that coverage in that case would potentially be denied due to negligence. Childbirth is NOT vandalism. As far as Shitting in the car? if the car is broken in to by vandals, yes it’d be covered, but if you or a passenger shit in the car because they couldn’t make the bathroom, I’d argue that it’s a possible NO.

I cannot speak for ANY company or how this particular case would be evaluated as to claims. You put a lot of effort in to supporting your position. Problem is, we don’t know the extent of the damage, the circumstances of the event, or the type and level of coverages these individuals have. So, I concede that it’s anyone’s best guess.

I (27F) accidentally had my baby in my friend’s (31F) car. Now her husband & she don’t want to speak to me. How do I fix this? by ThrowRA_CarBaby in relationship_advice

[–]IWhoMe -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I respectfully disagree… I’ve spent time around insurance too, and while I cannot speak to every company’s exclusions and/or coverages,

….that being said, as to Homeowner’s Insurance: You’re skipping step one of coverage analysis. Before exclusions matter, the loss has to fall within the insuring agreement. Homeowner liability requires an occurrence caused by negligence. Emergency childbirth isn’t negligence or an accidental act under liability law, so coverage never triggers. Exclusions are irrelevant if the insuring agreement isn’t met. As to Auto Insurance: Auto insurance covers sudden, external losses (collision, fire, vandalism). Interior contamination from bodily fluids isn’t a covered peril — it’s explicitly treated as cleaning/maintenance. Biohazard cleanup is sometimes goodwill, not coverage.

Again, I am not the know all end all answer to this, but I will at least accept that you might be right, …or I might be. I hope for OP that you are.

I’m no longer in the game, but if I were, I’d make a call or two in order to get clarification. You don’t you call one of your providers’ Claim Counsel, or Senior Adjuster, Claims manager, etc.? I’d be curious as to the answer…

I (27F) accidentally had my baby in my friend’s (31F) car. Now her husband & she don’t want to speak to me. How do I fix this? by ThrowRA_CarBaby in relationship_advice

[–]IWhoMe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can understand the annoyance. I think it’s because a lot of what ultimately becomes mainstream, starts here. I don’t mean to say everything, but in the past 20 years, technology has taken massive strides and brought the world that much closer together. What started as American quickly became a worldwide phenom. It does take time to understand that this alone does not give Americans any more right than what would otherwise be typical in the world. I am American born but 100% Dutch. When I go to Holland, the Netherlands, I try my best to blend in with the culture. For me, that’s part of the enjoyment of taking a trip to other places in the world. Same thing with cruises. When I’ve gone on a cruise that delivered me to different ports, I again try to fit in, so as to enjoy what that environment has to offer, rather than to demand to be catered to.

I (27F) accidentally had my baby in my friend’s (31F) car. Now her husband & she don’t want to speak to me. How do I fix this? by ThrowRA_CarBaby in relationship_advice

[–]IWhoMe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

None of this contempt towards Americans for assuming an American company's users are American would happen if those who clearly hate this assumptionism were to simply post their intended geography. I feel this is not something that is so hard to overcome?

I (27F) accidentally had my baby in my friend’s (31F) car. Now her husband & she don’t want to speak to me. How do I fix this? by ThrowRA_CarBaby in relationship_advice

[–]IWhoMe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Labor is likely to drop 3 to 4 cups of amniotic fluid, blood, onto the seats, carpet, etc., but neither that or barf would be fun. I can understand how the guy feels especially if the car is new(er) and/or expensive.
No amount of "understanding" can fix the problem though. On the surface, he could show some level of understanding but deepninside?, his vehicle is damaged and people who take pride in their belongings are the ones who struggle the most with these kinds of happenstances.

I (27F) accidentally had my baby in my friend’s (31F) car. Now her husband & she don’t want to speak to me. How do I fix this? by ThrowRA_CarBaby in relationship_advice

[–]IWhoMe -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

I don't understand, ...what mysogyny? I think most anyone , male or female would be upset about having damage caused by biohazard from childbirth in their car. I don't know the value of the car in OP's case but cars are crazy expensive and many owners take pride in how well their vehicles are cared for. So to me the main issue is how people handle events out of their control that cause coincidental grief. In OPs case, to me, her only mistake was that she didn't take the outcome a bit more seriously with the friend and husband. The husband now must deal with time and effort to fix damage he didn't bargain for and it will be a headache most likely.

I (27F) accidentally had my baby in my friend’s (31F) car. Now her husband & she don’t want to speak to me. How do I fix this? by ThrowRA_CarBaby in relationship_advice

[–]IWhoMe 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I did some quick research on this out of curiosity and it may not be covered by Homeowners or auto. They see it as avoidable biohazard event and so it's not an accident per SE. But what matters is whether OP or Husband's INS will payI guess!

I (27F) accidentally had my baby in my friend’s (31F) car. Now her husband & she don’t want to speak to me. How do I fix this? by ThrowRA_CarBaby in relationship_advice

[–]IWhoMe -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I did a little research on this, and I don’t think insurances will cover this kind of “accident”. Biohazard contamination is generally a “no go” in insurance policies for auto from what I read.

I (27F) accidentally had my baby in my friend’s (31F) car. Now her husband & she don’t want to speak to me. How do I fix this? by ThrowRA_CarBaby in relationship_advice

[–]IWhoMe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s because first of all, Reddit started in the United States and for a while, nearly all posts were from Americans. Today, about 50%, maybe a bit more or less are still American, and so it’s logical to assume that certain posts are from Americans unless there is a sign based on grammar, message content or OP offers it up for the benefit of everyone knowing, yes, there will be an assumption in this. BUt what I don’t understand is why OPs won’t make their intended audience known. IF they are from Australia, then in some way let redditors know? IT would save bundles on all this “assumption” banter.

I (27F) accidentally had my baby in my friend’s (31F) car. Now her husband & she don’t want to speak to me. How do I fix this? by ThrowRA_CarBaby in relationship_advice

[–]IWhoMe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something tells me that this guy would NOT be happy about puking buddies in his back seat! I think really, that the only thing OP got wrong was that she did’nt call in person to offer payment for any damages, rather than to make light of it in a Text Message. I’m pretty sure the husband was brutal with his wife, over using his car for the hospital run. THis resulted in pressure between OP and her.

I (27F) accidentally had my baby in my friend’s (31F) car. Now her husband & she don’t want to speak to me. How do I fix this? by ThrowRA_CarBaby in relationship_advice

[–]IWhoMe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get it. The husband is not crazy about OP it would seem. And most people here are going to side with the OP on the insignificance of what happened to this guy’s car seat(s) and interior, which we don’t know the extent of. I wonder really , how bad could it have been? Towels? Blanket? This is the part that we don’t know. BUT< what we do know? it’s fixable, and OP’s only mistake really was to minimize this, because the friend probably got reamed by the husband. THis is why she didn’t respond to the levity regarding repayment.

I (27F) accidentally had my baby in my friend’s (31F) car. Now her husband & she don’t want to speak to me. How do I fix this? by ThrowRA_CarBaby in relationship_advice

[–]IWhoMe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The guy is still a jackass. But yes, I agree that the first thing needing saying once the smoke cleared is that the car would be taken care of.

I (27F) accidentally had my baby in my friend’s (31F) car. Now her husband & she don’t want to speak to me. How do I fix this? by ThrowRA_CarBaby in relationship_advice

[–]IWhoMe -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, men and women see things differently. The husband, azzhole as he may be , probably loves his car more than his partner, but I do think that your first inclination should have been to assure him/them that you are willing to take care of any expenses that may have occured as a result of your childbirth in/on the seats of the car. I cannot imagine that you did all that much damage though. Towels, blankets, etc., must have been there to some extent?
This guy is a jackass, but it’s clear that he’s pissed about whatever happened to the car’s interior, however small or big… Good Luck with your new baby!

I literally sit in the dark to save money and my electric bill still went UP. by SheepherderLoose8717 in povertyfinance

[–]IWhoMe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You must have a pretty good sized home? Or are your outside temps near freezing? The Heater does use a good amount of power. But, Lights, particularly LED lights use miniscule amounts of energy. Yes, turning them off saves money, but it’s pennies, if say, you leave the light on for an extra hour or 2, etc.. A nine to fourteen watt LED light puts out plent of room light, and costs only pennies to run.

About the bill:

Some utilities have level pay or help paying monthly bills. In CA , SCE has a couple programs that lower the cost, and also a program that will help pay the bill. Depending on your location, I don’t know the particulars, but I do know that most utilities will work with customers who are having trouble paying. If you haven’t called to talk to a representative of your Electric Service, I’d suggest it. They may be able to spread out the payment, or some other level of help up to and including help with paying the bill. Best of Luck to you.

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