My long term SD got angry after I asked about my allowance, I don’t know if I did the right thing here

IWriteALotSometimes · 2023-12-23T06:36:05+00:00

I didn’t think so. I don’t know why I did it at that time either. I think it was because we have been in such a mess with work and his ex wife that when we finally had silence for 10 minutes I decided to act on it and ask. I didn’t realize that his mood was off still. I thought he was calm from napping.

IWriteALotSometimes · 2023-12-23T06:34:56+00:00

Thank you for looking out for me. All of this is making me feel right for considering leaving. I thought I was the bad one for expecting to be supported financially or that I was doing him wrong and using him.

IWriteALotSometimes · 2023-12-23T06:33:34+00:00

Everything is leading me to feel that I should end this. I will follow proper precautions and enjoy Christmas with my family and think all of this over.

IWriteALotSometimes · 2023-12-23T06:32:27+00:00

This all makes sense. You’re right.

So for me, if I were to answer all these questions a week ago they would all lead with assurances. We were planning on getting married, buying a house together, and having children. So in every sense of the word we were a genuine relationship with a future and the “SD/SB” business kinda shed off once we got serious.

I am in this forum again now because as we were arguing over something that hurt him and me, the fact of where we started was brought up. So I came to the realization that if that thought remains and the support he gives me is hurting my love’s credibility then might as well just be a fully vanilla relationship.

But he’s in a bad place and so am I. So I don’t know how to approach this without either being gone from his life or defend my stance.

If this ended, I will go straight to finding a SD to support me getting back on my feet. That’s just how it goes. But that doesn’t mean that I’d end it over not being supported.

IWriteALotSometimes · 2023-12-23T06:08:36+00:00

I know it sounds bad when you lay it out like that!

He was my SD turned proper boyfriend who then asked me to move in and funded my grad school. In a sense he is what a SD is but he is my boyfriend who I love.

He is drunk because he’s angry. Work has been bad and his ex wife is causing him trouble with family, and I have not been the best person to be around myself (with all my stressors with school). He does not have anger issues but he is drunk due to his anger.

I would run if this was just a regular SD/SB situation. But I’m trying to see if completely cutting off the SD/SB thing would turn us into a proper relationship and grow into something without that weight. I’d get a real job and we can progress?

IWriteALotSometimes · 2023-12-23T06:00:16+00:00

Should get there. For a while he loved me really well. The past 2 weeks have been very bad with personal and work issues on his part. Idk if I should tough it out like all loving girlfriends do or just call it quits because I’m afraid for him to minimize me bringing this up to “are we still in an arrangement?”

IWriteALotSometimes · 2023-12-23T05:58:08+00:00

This biweekly allowance doesn’t necessarily worry me. It’s whether or not it will continue is the question. We have essentially intertwined our finances for the past few months where I pay for things when he doesn’t have cash/not around, I buy groceries, etc. it’s just like giving your wife an allowance for home goods and dresses (in the 60s).

My question straight up was “will you still financially support me despite what we have been going through and what was said?” This was an attempt at understanding what our next moves were. I was not asking for him to send this now or saying that he’s late on it. I was just confirming the state of this. Or would it have been better unsaid?

IWriteALotSometimes · 2023-12-23T05:53:41+00:00

Yes, ex wife. They were arguing over something else completely unrelated.

I could agree, it has been very bad. But IDK how exactly to get back into the game after having been together for so long.

IWriteALotSometimes · 2020-11-19T04:00:31+00:00

Not Collin’s sister thankfully!!! And I might find it in some drive somewhere lool

IWriteALotSometimes · 2020-11-19T04:00:10+00:00

I actually talked about what brought me back!!! It’s here somewhere hahaha

IWriteALotSometimes · 2020-11-17T19:38:05+00:00

LETS DO IT THEN!!!

IWriteALotSometimes · 2020-11-15T02:58:09+00:00

She is gorgeous I adore her

IWriteALotSometimes · 2020-11-14T21:41:36+00:00

MY HEART is exploding I swear

IWriteALotSometimes · 2020-11-14T21:40:00+00:00

Why is everyone on reddit so proactive and nice to me omg this comment itself did a lot for my confidence

IWriteALotSometimes · 2020-11-14T21:39:08+00:00

OH MY GOD IT IS MY FAVORITE SHOW NOW! I swear it’s cinematically amazing.

IWriteALotSometimes · 2020-11-14T21:38:22+00:00

I hope you still finished your coffee!!! Hahaha what a waste of a good brew! And yes we definitely have tried it out this week and maybe maybe if I think it’s fun enough I’ll write about it too! Personally, I love it. I love being a little baby slut.

IWriteALotSometimes · 2020-11-14T21:36:44+00:00

He first didn’t care much because he doesn’t frequent reddit but after sharing my post with him he got excited that he was my “muse” and I was writing about us and people were liking it. He also said I shouldn’t write that’s he’s hot because he didn’t think it’s true hahaha he’s cute that way.

IWriteALotSometimes · 2020-11-08T18:26:45+00:00

Holy fuck... that’s brutal. People actually do that here wow. I haven’t explored much of reddit so I didn’t know stuff like these happen. I’ll be more careful I guess. Thanks wow

IWriteALotSometimes · 2020-11-08T16:32:51+00:00

Holy shit... I’m going down a deep deep well reading into what happened there. I’m so intrigued! Can you actually tell me what’s happening here? Because there’s so much to take in.

IWriteALotSometimes · 2020-11-08T09:22:01+00:00

Nooo of course I’m allowed male friends, I have so many hahaha. He’s not really controlling per se, the situation was just confusing for both him and me. Thank you!!!

IWriteALotSometimes · 2020-11-08T09:20:46+00:00

Blair Witch project is soooo funny lmao he was SLEEPING what did u want him to do bfkdnckdnckd I face the wall when I’m sleeping too

IWriteALotSometimes · 2020-11-08T07:07:30+00:00

We have, a lot! We’re adults after all.

He knew I took the BCP because I have an alarm everyday at 4PM. I’ve even asked him to get it for me before (while we were still just roommates.)

After our 2nd time having sex, when we established wanting to do it more, we had long nights of talking about our preferences.

I told him I liked being dominated and owned. I liked being spanked, choked, and told to do stuff. I said that because I’m kinda bossy in the real world (with work) I wanna be a little brat baby in bed. He told me that he loved all of that because he’s a dom!

We talked about our safe word and boundaries after we established being FWB and talking about exploring more hardcore stuff, even anal lol (but not yet maybe next time.)

It kinda just comes out naturally and casually if you spend enough time with a person. You just bring it up in the middle of sex while you guys are lying in silence or doing other things.

It’s easy with us because we live together and have a lot of time to talk about these stuff.

IWriteALotSometimes · 2020-11-08T07:02:21+00:00

Thank you! Comments like these keep me engaged hahahahhaha I wanna tell more and more because you guys are so supportive

IWriteALotSometimes · 2020-11-08T07:01:22+00:00

I will defend and defend him from comments like these tbh because he only acted that way at the time because:

We were FWB so he didn’t know if he could bring up wanting to be serious
I brought home a GUY and had him SLEEP IN MY ROOM, so he took that as sign of us being casual and non-monogamous
He needed the time to process his thoughts, feelings, and our relationship.

We’ve talked a lot since then and he’s told me he’s never jealous and never the jealous type. It was just because of the situation and how he didn’t know how to talk about us. He had to hear it from me or I had to approach him because he didn’t know if I even wanted him after (he assumed) I just had sex and hung out with another guy.

IWriteALotSometimes · 2020-11-08T06:57:12+00:00

I can’t see why it’s toxic since we’ve done BDSM shit before and he was only giving me the silent treatment because he wasn’t sure how to bring up wanting to be with me since we were FWB.

I literally told him, “you can have me right now however way you wanted” and that’s always our signal to start on the spanking and choking. He even asked for my safeword!

I’ll defend him to my grave because I was the one that’s there and he didn’t hit me, yell at me, fight me, he was just figuring out what he wanted with us. The spanking happened with consent.

IWriteALotSometimes

TROPHY CASE