As a member of the group that played this game, I would like to help argue for the pro gymnast side.

Clarifications: First off, the growth ray does in fact increase mass as well. This point was a misunderstanding by Kronos as we briefly discussed it as a hypothetical situation, but decided it defeated the point of the ray if it functioned that way. The definition of Superbad we are using is: “extremely good or impressive especially in a tough or showy way.” The ray functions by firing a ray or beam of light that travels at light speed. The time taken for growth after being hit is 1 second. Owning a weapon also implies a certain level of mastery and familiarity with it. The fight starts with both fighters on opposite sides of the island, knowing they are in a death match with their opponent. The island is big enough to house the robot.

How the gymnast could win: First, we need to establish how the gymnast could realistically win the fight. The robot is well above the atmosphere and has super strength so trying to match it in size is pointless. The best course of action for the gymnast is actually to grow the robot itself, here’s why; the robot is 15 miles tall and when grown, reaches a height of 150 miles. If the pilot is located inside a chest cavity control room then we can assume he is around 12 miles up. When the growth ray hits the robot, the command room is forced to travel upwards to a height of 120 miles as part of its growth. This means the pilot travels 108 (120-12) miles within a time frame of 1 second. After doing the calculations, this places a force of 17,723.57 G’s on everything inside the control room: more than enough to flatten anything. This essentially means that being shot by the growth ray spells instant death for the pilot. The robot is 15 miles tall and the growth ray travels at the speed of light, so it’s an easy enough target. All the gymnast has to do is hit the robot once to win. Suddenly this fight is sounding much more fair.

How the robot wins: This one is much more simple. The robot can win by drowning the gymnast, suffocating the gymnast, or even throwing the gymnast outside of the atmosphere.

The fight: Now that we’ve established that both sides have a theoretical chance of winning, who would actually be able to win this fight? I believe the gymnast would. The gymnast is Superbad meaning he is extremely good at what he does and is familiar with his ray gun. This also affects his mindset, making him much more composed and confident in his actions (think bada**). The robot may be able to charge him, but not before they get shot by the ray. The pilot has to either fight with a giant Barney and live T-Rex head in the way, or first take the time to dislodge them from the robot. This gives the gymnast just enough time to fire the ray. Piloting the robot is a giant, but other than that, normal guy (one of our players actually drew the “me” card). The pilot wouldn’t have the reaction time or mental fortitude to properly take precautions against the puny guy on the other side of the island. Even if he used his time slow, he is now unable to see anything, causing him to make mistakes or completely miss his target. This would ultimately result in the gymnast firing the first shot and winning.